Hey, there!
It's a great lesson in the power blocking way.
I'm going to tell you why,
those things actually go together in this video coming up.
So make sure you watch.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung, I'm an attorney.
I am an author and I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I teach people how to get leverage,
how to create strategy, use tactics and all of the things that you need to do,
whether it's in a business relationship, or a personal relationship,
a family law setting, whatever it is, that's what I do, right here on this channel.
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So, let's talk about the real reason that J.Lo and A-Rod split.
I've heard a lot of different things.
Before their split, they were last photographed hugging in the Dominican Republic.
Apparently, she was filming a movie there or something.
But they were in different countries when the split was actually announced.
Apparently he was in Miami.
At that point, getting ready for baseball season.
I think kind of part of it has to do
with the fact that they both have pretty hefty schedules,
they're in the public eye,
they've got a lot going on,
but on top of that, some news came out about A-Rod actually cheating on JLo
with a former girlfriend,
that he was talking to her,
that they were having conversations or something like that
Apparently Madison, the woman, said that
they never actually had any kind of a physical relationship at that point,
but, who knows?
It could have been emotional, it could have been inappropriate texts,
or just, you know, if somebody gets into conversation with an ex,
you end up having intimate conversations
or conversations get carried away, a little too far.
I've seen it in my divorce practice
where people connect on social media with long-lost loves and,
they kind of pick up where they left off.
Maybe not necessarily having a sexual relationship,
but just having an intimate kind of conversation relationship,
and that could have definitely been part of the issue.
Apparently, they have some business together.
They have things together.
They bought a home together and there was a lot going on.
So, I guess, they'd actually made the decision
to break up prior to actually breaking up
because of what they had to deal with.
Okay, what were they going to do about their business?
What were they going to do about all these other things that they had?
They weren't even married yet,
but they had some stuff that they needed to untangle and unwind.
So, on top of that, they both have children from previous marriages
That can also be complicated.
I know, for myself, when I got married to my husband,
my older children were young for many of you who know my story.
If you don't, you can check it out, if you'd like,
on the video called “I don't normally share this”.
I talked a little bit more about my personal backstory there,
if you want to check that out.
I was married at 19 the first time,
I had 3 kids by the time I was 22, then I got divorced.
I went back to law school,
I was still pretty young when I went to law school and I met my husband there,
but I had already had 3 kids and all this stuff was happening,
he never had been married, and didn't have children.
We always joke that he brought the dog into the relationship
because he had a dog at the time that it came into the relationship with us.
So, we became a home of a blended family
with kids and a dog and the whole thing and I know how complicated that can be.
So, I would say that the real reason that they probably split up was a number of things.
It was probably very busy careers.
It was probably other children involved and
trying to parent your own children with another co-parent and on top of that,
maybe, inappropriate conversations, with exes and being in the public eye.
There's so much scrutiny, and so much pressure,
it's almost impossible to hold it all together.
I mean it's hard to hold it all together.
Anyway, 50% of first marriages end up in divorce,
as well as approximately 67% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages.
We don't get better at this as we go along.
But, they were probably just ready to split.
That's what happens.
But there is such a power in the story of learning to walk away;
and the power of walking away, when you know, a relationship isn't right for you.
It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship, it can be any kind of a relationship.
If it's not serving you,
then, you can just have a conversation and say,
“This relationship is no longer serving me”.
The beautiful thing about that, is that you don't have to make each other wrong.
One time I was leaving a particular job, and it's so natural as human beings to go.
I'm leaving this particular situation, so I need to make this other situation wrong.
It's almost like, you need to feel like you are justifying your choice to move on
or justifying why the other situation was bad.
That's why I had to move on.
You end up focusing on why the other person or situation is so terrible.
Then you're really running from something.
Instead of walking powerfully to something and there's huge difference in that.
I want you to hear the languaging and how you feel when you hear that, right?
You can just let go, and walk powerfully forward.
I want you to feel how you feel when you just even type the words “let go”.
You don't have to make the other person wrong,
You don't have to run away from something,
even though, if you're in a relationship with a narcissist,
you kind of have to at least walk quickly.
I've been there too, so I get that.
But, you can also be walking towards something.
You can be saying,
“I am choosing something that serves me,
I'm choosing a relationship that serves me,
I'm choosing a situation that serves me,
I'm choosing a life that serves me,
I want to embrace the most powerful version of life for me”.
There's such a huge power in that,
so, whether or not that's how J.Lo and A-Rod felt when they walked away,
there is a lesson in choosing to walk away and being okay with that
even though, maybe the whole world wants you to be together,
there is power in walking away.
I want you to have that power.
I want you to feel that power.
I want you to write “let go” down in the comments.
If you liked this video, say you liked it, like it, and then share it.
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do that now,
subscribe and hit that notification bell.
If you want to grab my free crush, my negotiation e-book, it's a worksheet;
you can do that, at winmynegotiation.com.
You can also join my free private Facebook group, “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I am so glad that you're here,
I want you to feel that unstoppable power of being able to let go.
And I will see you in the next video.