Okay, Jarvis. I just gave my home address to an international terrorist and challenged him to a fight...
I want you to cancel all dectective work rendering projects,
and focus ALL of our resources on defending my house from attack. Alright?
Very well, sir!
Shall I engage the "House Party" protocol now then?
Sure why not.
*gasp*
TANK MISSILES!!!!
How Iron Man 3 Should Have Ended
So who's bullying you?
How'd you know I get picked on at school?
Because you hang out with middle age guys in garages.
Oh.
Here kid, have a weaponized flare to use on a bully or... whatever.
Is this legal?
You're Freakin Me OUT!
Aaaauggahahuahuuuuhhhhh!
You realize this is the exact premise of the Pixar film "Incredibles."
What?! No!
Yes.
No it isn't!
Yes it is.
I met you a long time ago, hurt your feelings,
which pushed you over the edge,
and now your a super villain currently with the upper hand,
and I'm temporarily trapped.
It's totally the same story.
This is not! ... First of all...
I'm surprised Tony Stark even knows that movie well enough to reference it's story line,
And secondly!
What do you mean "temporarily trapped"?
Your hands are totally permanently secured in those zip ties. You're not going anywhere.
You are Syndrome and I am Mr. Incredible.
This is not the same! I can breathe fire!
I even have a black friend who helps me fight crime...
AND he even has a super suit.
Oh my gosh, this is totally The Incredibles!
You know what bugs me?
What?
When the president is held hostage in the Iron Patriot suit...
the suit is completely useless.
But when Rhodey puts it on, everything works completely fine.
That's what bothers you?
Yeah, that bugs me.
Well you know what bugs me?
How you got all the way back to Gotham City
after climbing out of that prison on the other side of the planet!
Why don't you explain that?
Why do so many people have a problem with this? I said...
It's Because I'm Batman!
Can we get back to the story please?
Fine. Continue.
Hey how come your bra didn't burn in the fire?
What?
Tony!
The world's in danger! It's time to assemble!
We need you!
Raaar-Avengers....
Need Tony!
Need Suit!
Oh you guys ARE still around!
I'm sorry everyone. I just blew up all of my suits.
I'm kind of a changed man now.
Why would you blow up all of your suits!?
See it was sort of metaphorical...
showing Pepper that she's more important than any mission and...
and I'm more than just a suit.
Plus it's Christmas.
Hazaaaah!
I heard your call my brothers and sister!
Let us go forth to victory!
Tony just blew up ALL of his suits!
Sayeth WHAAAAAAAT?!
Why woudst thou do this?!
Yeah, Stark is out. He's... He's totally whipped.
But I might have an alternate.
Pepper! You're basically like terminator 2 now...
You wanna take Tony's place on this one?
Me?
Yeah girl! You wanna go save the world?
Really? That actually sounds exciting!
She can't replace me! What just happened here?
She killed the Mandarin!
With my tech! Guys I blew up all of my suits, but that doesn't mean I'm not still Iron Man.
So you wanna go with us?
Okay!
OH thanks a lot guys! Come on! Pepper!
I love you sweetheart!
She can't replace me!
I am Iron Man! You hear me!?
I AM IRON MAN!
So is Jarvis!
So are you retired now or what?
I don't know! Are you retired now?!
Well I know I'm not retired.
I'm just getting started.
Here hang on to these for me will ya?
What the! Gross!
I'll be right back.
Rebooooooot!
I am Iron Man.
I'm Batman.
So get your "Mandarin's Margarine" today!
You'll never see this sweet buttery imitation coming.
*singing* I am ALSO Iron Man!
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