- Call now for a very special offer
on a very stupid product.
- Let's talk about that.
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Everybody's got those days where they drink
a 6 p.m. espresso and then binge a season of Bojack.
Now it's 3 a.m. and their mind is racing because
they said, "You too," when that cute ticket taker said,
"Enjoy your movie," yesterday.
- (chuckles) And the best way to combat
late night restlessness is with
some trashy paid programming. - That's right.
- But what is the worst of the worst when it comes to
as seen on TV ads?
- The Mythical team has trudged through the annals of time
to uncover the most ridiculous as seen on TV products,
and we're gonna decide which one's the dumbest.
It's time for Ranked: Worst As Seen On TV Products.
Mythical team member Stevie, Christine, Jordan, and Emily
are going to be presenting as seen on TV products
along with the ads that they come with.
- Yeah they're gonna make their argument
and then we're going to rank them and award the worst
as seen on TV product of all time.
All right Jordan, why don't you go first?
- So I've got the Wax Vac,
which is a space blaster for ear wax.
- [Announcer] We all know we shouldn't use cotton swabs
to clean or dry our ears.
Wax Vac is quiet, listen.
See how gently it vacs water and dirt,
leaving your ears clean and dry.
You just empty it out when you're done.
Stop using other ear cleaners that don't work,
and stop using cotton swabs that can damage your ears.
- Ow! (laughing)
- Ow!
- Such a great piece of infomercial over acting.
- Ow! - Ooh,
I have to drain this pasta, whoa, my house is on fire!
It's just like, all right.
Yes, this is from the folks at Hampton Direct.
It pulls dirt particles and moisture out of the ear
with gentle suction.
It's cordless, costs $9.99.
- So it shoves water in and then sucks it out?
- Does it take water out?
It puts water in and then takes it out?
- Oh no, it takes water out, no,
it gently draws moisture and debris.
I was confused, I was like, there's no tank on it.
- Should we put water in though?
- No.
You actually have a little-- - There's moisture in there.
- [Stevie] Ew.
- [Rhett] There's a little, oh, there's a little black piece
that went right in there.
- Ew. - What?
- Yeah, you had a little black piece.
- Oh, push harder. - Ow!
- Deeper.
Deeper, deeper, deeper.
- [Rhett] That's as deep as it goes, man.
- Push it, man.
Push it.
- Should we leave? - This makes me feel
very, very uncomfortable.
And that's as far as it goes.
- I like this one.
It feels good, you try it.
- No I'm not using that. - No no no.
- Clean it. - I need my own Wax Vac.
- Wait, I wanna see what is in--
- Okay let's see if it got anything, is there like a tank?
- Yeah, you have to empty it over a sink.
- Don't you see?
- Jordan, did you try this?
- Not on my ear but I can confirm that it feels great
on the human nipple.
(laughing)
- Did you wash it after?
- Oh look, look-- - No.
- That's the black thing that was in your ear, look at it.
- What is that black thing? - I don't know,
there was a black thing. - Oh man, I think--
- Well to me this is a great produce, so why is this bad?
I mean, it feels great, it sucks hard.
We're good to go, right? (Rhett laughs)
- Sure, yeah.
Maybe this is a great product. - It's great.
So I'm putting this, I don't wanna put it at four,
but maybe I'm just weird.
- Yeah well that is affirmative.
All right next up is Stevie.
- How about an egg scrambler for ya?
- [Rhett] How 'bout it?
- [Announcer] Do you scramble eggs like this?
You never get a perfectly blended egg,
and then there's the cleanup.
But now there's the egg scrambler.
It scrambles an egg while it's still in the shell.
The egg scrambler perfectly blends the egg white
and yolk in only five seconds.
- Okay.
- It's true! - That sounds amazing.
- So this is the Egg Scrambler from the 1970s
from Ronco. - Ron Popeil.
- Oh!
- And it's a little vibrating needle that
pierces the egg shells, scrambles the egg inside.
In the 70s, it was $7.77.
We paid $50 for it on eBay.
You know what's weird though is that I remember
a commercial from when I was young like in the late 80s
and from what I remember,
the camera's pushing down a hallway
and there's a closed door and you hear a vibration sound
and you cut back to a closeup of this husband and he's like,
"Honey?" and then you keep going towards the door
and she's like, "Oh yeah!"
And then he opens the door and then she's there
with her Egg Scrambler and she's just like,
"It's my Egg Scrambler," and he's like, d'oh,
and he looks at the camera.
- D'oh. - Yeah.
- Are you sure you didn't just dream that?
- Yeah no, I made all of that up,
but it would have been a better commercial than what we saw.
- Let's try it.
- Wait so she's using the egg scrambler in her bedroom?
- Yes she is. - Sensual ad.
- [Emily] She brought it as a cover up.
- Okay now I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, guys.
I'm gonna try it.
So I know that you pierce the egg first.
- [Link] Oh gosh.
I would-- - Oh!
- It's on there. - It's on there,
and then you press down.
Oh man.
Ooh!
- My question is not whether this works, it's why?
- I feel like you could use this as
a ear wax remover as well.
- Oh, with the needle in there.
- All right the moment of truth.
We're gonna see if it actually scrambled.
- Well I think it does scramble, but--
- Hold on, but that felt good, I will say that.
As the only person who was touching it
while it was happening, it felt good.
(taps egg)
- [All] Whoa!
- It works! - Whoa, that is amazing!
- Wow!
- Well they wound up discontinuing it 'cause people
started sharing needles.
(laughing)
- Now I just don't know why.
I mean, well-- - Here's what I'll say.
It's pretty cool if it's actually more trouble
than just putting a bunch of eggs into a bowl
and scrambling them. - Yeah.
- Cleaning up eggs is like kind of one of
the easiest things, they come right off with water.
- [Link] That is a very consisted scramble.
- Oh they got you with the consistency.
- Yeah like scrambling an egg is like the first thing
you learn how to do when you're learning how to cook.
I feel like if you had a machine in your house
that was just for Top Ramen, it's like you don't need that.
- Absolutely.
- It could make a good candy bowl though,
and when someone reaches in they're like (mimics buzzing).
Got ya. (laughing)
- It could make a good torture device.
You put your eye on it. - Oh.
- [Link] I'm putting this at two, what do you think?
- Yeah I really don't need help scrambling my eggs
and I'm more than a little bit afraid of that needle,
so yes, it is a worse product.
Next up we got Christine. - Hey.
So this is Wonder Arms, a total arm workout system.
- [Link] Okay.
- [Announcer] Listen up ladies.
Are your arms and shoulders saggy, flabby and out of shape?
Isn't that the one area you could never find
a solution for?
- This right here, it ain't sexy.
- That is my chicken wing.
- This is the fat.
- A little schnitzel right here.
That's what I'm not a big fan of.
- [Announcer] Introducing Wonder Arms,
the breakthrough fitness sensation
that all women are talking about.
- All women? - All women.
I know, they're like, listen up, ladies.
We're all like uh-huh.
I'm listening.
- What was the audition process for that commercial?
You just step in the room like, look at that!
- Like a lot of double waving.
(Emily laughs)
I don't know, I feel like this product,
the action that you achieve in the muscles
that it worked could be done with anything,
like reaching for things, right, it doesn't--
- Well Link you tell me, are you feeling your triceps?
- A little bit, I am. - Your biceps.
- It looks like a replica like Legolas Lord of the Rings bow
that I got at Comic Con.
- Whoa! - Oh my goodness.
- No! - Dangerous.
- Look at that. - That's not advised.
- That's exciting.
- Well you're supposed to feel your triceps,
your biceps, your shoulders, your chest, your back and more.
Do you feel more?
- I feel a little pain where it hit me in the wrist.
- Did you let go of that on purpose?
- Yeah I was doing the Legolas.
It was a good idea it seemed like.
- Thank you.
- Oh there's a beginner, intermediate and an advanced band.
You're currently on the intermediate band.
- Let's see if I can get a burn going
while you try to convince me this is, oh good,
it's dangerous once you get-- - Yeah I feel like
you could just row a boat instead.
- Did that woman-- - Who's got a boat?
(laughing)
That's the simpler version of this?
You just buy a boat. - Simply buy a boat.
- Try it. - Did the woman call her arm
a shitzel?
- Schnitzel. - A schnitzel.
- But a schnitzel is like a thin piece of fried chicken.
- Yeah, that's what it looked like. (chuckles)
- She's very, very specific in her body dysmorphia.
- I don't know-- (laughing)
- It's like what does it look like?
(groans) So much shame.
- I think there's some fellas who date ladies out there
who like a thick arm.
I like, you know?
- You like a thick arm. - I like a thick arm.
- You like a little schnitzel.
- I like a little schnitzel for lunch.
- [Christine] A little chicken wing?
- Have a nibble on your schnitzel.
- [Jordan] Add a little sauerkraut.
- (laughs) Eat my shitzel.
- Think of all the other words they used
before they landed on schnitzel.
- The fact is, there are many ways to tone your arms.
- Can I get your head? - That don't involve,
like potentially injuring yourself with shards of plastic.
This is stupid.
- And this isn't replicating any particular,
you could go to a gym and go to every machine
and this would not be an exercise that you would do.
- That's an argument for this being--
- Hey, we're filling the white space
in the arm exercise market. - So you think it's good?
- I'm getting a little, my chai-ceps.
(laughing)
I found new muscles, that's what more is.
It's your chai-ceps.
- That's the muscle you work out when you take
your chai tea from Starbucks.
- So you're saying this is good,
and I felt a little burn.
- I'm saying that if you did this and nothing else,
I mean you might get swole.
But I think you gotta do it more than minutes a day,
we're talking hours.
- But you could just use the resistant band
without the actual machine and get the same result, right?
- I don't know, Christine.
- No, nothing, Christine.
Nothing at all. - Doesn't feel the same.
- It's at number four.
- But I think we could all agree that sometimes
a schnitzel arm is beautiful.
(all clapping)
- Yes. - Especially on
a single mother.
- Oh. - Oh yes.
- [Jordan] And a first responder.
(laughing)
- All right Emily, what do we have?
- Oh boy, it's Rejuvenique.
It's an electric mask you willingly put on your face
to fix your stupid face.
- [Announcer] In essence, Rejuvenique does for the face
what exercise does for the body,
and the way it does that is there's a control unit
that during a facial session actually sends an impulse
up to the zones in the mask,
and actually activates the face and skin
to exercise, tighten and tone.
- [Announcer] These impulses start in the forehead
facial zone and about every 20 seconds,
automatically move one zone at a time through each
of the 12 facial zones.
- Oh my.
- Okay, Emily, tell us some more.
(screams)
Oh goodness.
- Wow! - Yeah.
You really make yourself look beautiful for the Purge.
(laughs)
- [Emily] We'll say this, I couldn't fit any fava beans
or Chianti in this tiny mouth hole.
Zero stars!
(laughing)
I'm gonna take, it smells like a bitter divorce in here.
- Oh gosh.
I'll take it. - Here you go, guys.
Woo, all right so that commercial is actually from 1999.
- What? - Wow.
- First of all, show 'em the inside of this.
Look at that, it's just a bunch of thumb tacks.
- Does my face look like Hellraiser just like
made out with me, or what happened?
It just imprinted? - No you look all right.
Give us some more info here.
- All right cool, so it delivers nine volt
electronic impulse gold plated facial cushions
electrocuting your face just to like revitalize
and work out your facial muscles.
- [Link] It's got a phone with it.
- Yeah you could. - Can you hear me?
- [Rhett] Yes.
- I'm about to turn this thing on.
- [Rhett] Oh it hurts.
- It does, a little bit.
- One's right into your eyebrows.
- [Christine] Beauty is pain.
- So there's a pulsation control that goes from on to 10,
and then I'm gonna press start so, I'm turning it on.
- [Rhett] Oh I heard a noise.
- And I'm gonna press start. - Oh no.
- And that's on two, going to four,
going to six.
You feel anything? - Hold on, turn it.
Just slowly go to eight.
- Eight-- (Rhett groans)
(laughing)
- You look like the phantom of the soccer moms.
(grunting dramatically)
- Stop it, stop it.
I mean I'm choosing to believe that you're faking,
but it's on 10.
- [Rhett] I'm not feeling anything except
a little embarrassment.
- You know if it doesn't work, you could at least use it
for what to do with your face when people
talk about matcha or sports.
That's what I want it for.
- Just put it on--
- [Rhett] I've gotta do my treatment now.
- Tell me more about Bitcoin.
- (grunts) Exactly. (laughs)
- [Rhett] I'm not feeling anything.
- You're not feeling anything? - You're into crystals now.
Cool. - I don't hear it.
- Those spiky things just hurt, man.
There's no electricity and even if there is,
it's nine volts.
I mean, what is that doing?
It's not doing anything.
It's not rejuvenating anything, Linda Evans.
- It just looks creepy.
- Linda Evans is doing something right.
She's a beautiful woman, a beautiful older gal.
- Well I think this might be a mask.
- Oh okay. - Okay, so--
- It looks very mask-like. - At this point, let's decide,
because the number one slot is open.
Is this worthy of the worst as seen on TV product?
- Well it doesn't work.
I think it would scare your family.
Yeah, in my mind, the Rejuvenique is the most useless,
worst as seen on TV product that we have seen today.
- It is ugly, it is stupid, it's scary, it doesn't work.
- But if you wanna attract Jason Voorhees,
I think this is a hot commodity.
- There you have it, Linda Evans.
You've sponsored the worst product as seen on television.
- The definitive list.
Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You guys say, "You know what time it is."
- [Crew] You know what time it is.
- I'm Dave.
- And I'm Megan.
- From Sumter, Washington. - And it's time to spin
the Wheel of Mythicality.
- All right click the top link and watch us match
the team member with the dumbest product they've ever bought
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the
Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
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