Translator: Youstina Wahid Reviewer: MOSAAB MOHMED zEINELABDIN MOHAMED
For those who do not know me, my name is Jala Hisham.
This year, fortunately, I took part in three Ramadan series.
In “Khali Balak Min Zizi” series, I played the role of Yasmine,
in “Musa” series, played the role of Mary,
and “Najib Zahi Zarkash” series, I played the role of Noha.
Let’s go back before the three series.
I’ve loved acting since the age of four,
for I learned a lot of things from it
like films, series, and animation
And whenever I felt sad, they were the things that made me happy.
Thus, I knew that this field is the one for me
However, I had this classic problem
that my parents didn’t want me to be part of this field.
Luckily, when they saw me clinging to my passion for this field
At times, I played squash, took dance courses
and took drawing lessons. But these were all temporary.
The only constant thing was my love for acting
My parents realized there were no escape from it
They sought to give me tips on how it’s like
and create a safe environment for me to blossom
I started to attend workshops and take part in any projects I come across
I enrolled myself in theaters and plays. I, likewise, contributed to commercials.
And when they noticed that, especially my mom,
They got convinced that this is what Jala wants and what she will flourish in
and that they should sustain me
By the way, 75% of the viewers are none but my mum
She keeps watching my scenes out of joy,
pride and support.
During the process, I was criticized a lot
I would go to the cast wearing wide pants and a wide blouse,
with puffy hair and no make-up
thinking they were to consider my mere talent
I also love sugar a lot; hence, I couldn’t keep a perfect weight.
And they would say, “You look small”, “You need to lose weight”.
“We need a beautiful actress for the role”.
They said irrational things
that only made me feel I was not good enough for this field,
I was not pretty and could do nothing.
I was frustrated, I thought I couldn’t do anything to achieve my goal
I started comparing myself to others.
And I am sure all, or at least most, of us do the same thing
whether we admit or disclose it or not
Social media make us complain: “Why is she there and I am not?!”.
“She has got such beautiful hair! How can I have my hair like this?”.
“How is she acquainted with all these people in the field?“.
I used to do this unwittingly.
Until one day I told my mum I was travelling to Sinai
and won’t come back until I am certain of what I want to do with my life
and when I went, I realized the most thing I wanted to do in my life was acting.
I returned back and got my hair cut.
I was offered a role in “Lams Aktaf” in 2019
They needed a girl of a body shape like “Samar Morsi’s”
So they said, “OK, Let’s pick Jala”.
I got cast and got the part
I found out that a 30-second scene needed, in fact, 4 days to be shot.
The weather was cold, there was no food, people were annoying,
and things happened making me think: “Gosh, this is not easy. This is tiresome”
However, I still wanted to act.
I thought that after “Lams Aktaf”,
red carpets would roll out before me,
and as I walked down the streets, people would rush to see me and take selfies,
and that roles offers would shower me
But there was nothing. None of this happened,
which got me into another round of frustration
“Aren’t I good enough? Is this the end? Would my happiness always be incomplete?“.
And because I dislike social media,
In fact, I fear it a lot,
and think it wastes time and makes one feel more insecure,
I refused to publish any contents on social media platforms,
and I was afraid of being criticized by people
I feared their antagonistic feedback and hostility when they disliked something
If they had troubles in their own lives, they might take it out on anyone.
And I was too sensitive to encounter that,
until I came up with “The Stalkers” program idea on “The Glocal” platform
for which at first, of course, in case you watched the show, I was bullied, brazenly
People said rude stuff about me being unfunny, disheveled, and unbeautiful
I then thought I was right, until I realized I wasn’t. I was wrong
“The Stalkers” or social media is, in fact, the reason why I’m here now.
We just need to use it wisely.
But for it, a lot of people wouldn’t have known me or sent me messages
In my worst days, I only felt better thanks to their messages.
Finally, I was offered 3 roles in 3 series this year.
None of the casting members had seen anything of mine on social media.
So I thank God who granted me these 3 roles out of nowhere.
I am not here to talk about how I advanced to this level
I am here to say that I could not enjoy my journey till this point
“Enjoy The Process”, the title I have chosen for this talk,
was said to me by an influential person in my life, aka Director Karim El Shenawy,
the director of “Khali Balak Min Zizi”.
I would complain to him: “Karim, people are cursing me for my role as Yasmeen”.
and he would say: “This is a success. Enjoy the process”
“Karim, I have very bad feelings towards Yasmeen”.
“She is so not like me”.
He would say: “Jala, enjoy the process”.
Then I realized this does not only apply to series. Our whole life is a journey,
and I couldn’t enjoy my journey, because I couldn’t love myself
I couldn’t accept it
I couldn’t forgive myself for my mistakes. I couldn’t stop comparing myself to others
I always sought to move from a point to another, mindless of the process.
“Why is this target so far?“, and other stuff.
So, today I’m here to say what I wish someone had told me when I started this
How to enjoy the process
Because if I had known this, I think my journey from the starting point
to this point, till that I’m to reach, would have been so much easier.
First, we need to normalize the fact that we all make mistakes, for we are humans,
not angels, and this is natural.
And when we forgive ourselves or understand that
we have mistaken for some reasons,
and acknowledge this deciding not to repeat the mistake,
this will help us embrace ourselves and learn to embrace others
because life is already hard enough without more hostility towards each other
and unkind words to say
Sometimes, everything is going just well, then, out of nowhere,
something bad happens, like Coronavirus, that ruins our lives
So, if we normalize mistake-making, we will be able to enjoy the process.
Second, I should know what tools I need;
If I want to do a particular thing, certain skills need to be acquired for it.
acting, (for instance), needs acquaintance with body language
I need to be good at vocalization in order to produce clear speech
I need to manage my emotions
Of course, I can’t and won’t be able to master any of the three above 100%
but I’m in the process
I searched to know what tools I need to achieve my dream
So anyone who has a dream they want to realize should explore the required tools
instead of complaining: “Why haven’t I obtained this?!“,
“Why X and not me?!”, “Why am I still sitting here?!”.
If I know what tools I need,
I will be too busy sharpening them to envy others’ achievements
Third, I should mind what I keep saying to myself,
as I burdened myself a lot all the way long till I reached here;
“I can’t do anything”,
“I am uptight. I’ll lash out at people”, “I am such a failure, I can’t do it”,
”I don’t know how to speak so I won’t be able to do anything”.
All this became manifest as it began to apply to all what I did
But when I said to myself: “It’s difficult, but I will try”,
“OK, I know it takes effort not to get angry but I will bid to do it”
“to be a nicer or a less tense person”
So I began to actually do this.
We should, hence, observe what we tell ourselves more than what we tell others
because if you say positive things to yourself,
you’ll end up being or achieving them
Fourth, this is something we hear a lot recently,
and read in the form of quotes on Facebook or Instagram posted by plenty of people,
which is how to love myself.
I am up till now in the process of loving myself,
because, unfortunately, we face storms in our lives
and happenings every day that keep us from loving ourselves in any way
They keep saying and repeating: “love yourself”.
Well, how do I do it? What should I do?
I spent a while not knowing how I should love myself,
until I arrived at some stuff that helped me and may help you as well
When I felt that I had a mental health problem that I don’t know how to solve,
I went to a therapist
as I knew not what to do and no one could help me.
I wanted to discern what I was going through.
It was very helpful; This was a form of self-love
Reading much is a form of self-love.
It enlightens my mind with things I knew not they existed,
things that enable me to engage in deep talks with others to learn even more
Knowledge, the idea of knowledge
Volunteering and charity may sound like a cliché,
but they make us feel really good about ourselves
and feel grateful for what we have
because at some point, we get accustomed to blessings
and this is something I used to be oblivious of,
till I witnessed people who lost one of their senses or one of their limbs,
which is a catastrophic matter that we incredibly take for granted
So, things like volunteering and charity help you not take blessings for granted
Fifth and foremost, the surrounding atmosphere
If anyone around you, no matter how close they are to you,
vibes negativity in your direction or make you feel horrible about yourself,
expel them from your life.
If I had done this early in my life,
my journey would have been pleasant and enjoyable
But I was surrounded by very toxic people
But for the supporters I have today,
I wouldn’t be able to stand here.
I wouldn’t be that kind of person
trying to improve and plough on despite nasty things happening
if they weren’t there.
So you really need to be selective about people you make close,
because without knowing,
a person who might seem nice and funny may pull you down
If somebody doesn’t help you take steps ahead, do not admit them to your life
because this pulls backward.
And if you find this out late, as I did, you’ll be very upset and regret it
I wish somebody had told me this earlier. No one told me this.
You must be sure that
you may fail 10,000 times,
but there is this 10,001st time in which you will succeed
because God is so good and so kind
He wouldn’t implant love in you or a dream for something
that you do not eventually achieve.
This is not possible.
But there has to be a journey,
and every day that passes without us achieving our dreams
is an opportunity to learn new things to add to our knowledge.
And if I were to choose whether I reach here today or sooner, I would choose today
because there is a huge experience I wouldn’t have had
if a long time hadn’t passed
However, I would have enjoyed the process,
I wouldn’t have gone through this much frustration and crying
–that I thank mum and dad and everyone for enduring me during which–
crying, yelling, and melancholy as to why I can’t reach there,
weeping, depression, comparing myself to others,
“I wish I were there”, “I wish I had.. “,
I couldn’t enjoy the process.
So if there is something I am to give advice to you on today,
it’s not how to realize our dreams,
but how to enjoy the process of realizing it.
That’s all.
I am so delighted you all came.
You have no idea how much I’m nervous but excited
that people have been interested to show up
not for my sake, of course, but for the brilliant speakers over here
I just want to say I’m very grateful
and that If I have made you happy 1% you have made me happier 100% by coming
and watching me interestingly. Thank you.