HONEST TRAILER: STAR TREK
VOICE From JJ Abrams, the visionary
behind Star Wars episode 7, and Felicity...comes a reboot impossible not to
enjoy. Unless you're William Shatner.
VOICE (CONT'D) Star Trek.
VOICE (CONT'D) The cool new franchise that used
time travel gobbledygook to throw away 50 years of canon.
But who cares! Star Trek is awesome again.
VOICE (CONT'D) Meet Nero. A Romulan out for
vengeance after his home planet is destroyed.
He'll be given a second chance to save his species when a black hole
sends him back in time. But instead of warning the Romulans about their
impending doom, he'll drift around waiting in space for 25 years.
Come on, they don't have phones in space?
VOICE (CONT'D) But there's one man who can stop
him...Captain Pike...who's quickly captured.
VOICE (CONT'D) Leaving only one other
man...Commander Spock...who quits after an emotional breakdown.
VOICE (CONT'D) Leaving only one other other man
who can stop him...
VOICE (CONT'D)
Captain James T. Kirk, an angry
drunk who is accepted into
Starfleet without any paperwork,
background checks or medical
evaluations.
VOICE (CONT'D) Come aboard, as Kirk commands the
USS Enterprise. The federation's
heavily armed Apple store, full of
Mac Geniuses who rise through the
ranks, not because of service or
aptitude, but because of things
like...
VOICE (CONT'D) ...the flu
VOICE (CONT'D) Death.
Gross incompetence.
VOICE (CONT�D) And sheer proximity to a clean uniform.
VOICE (CONT'D) Experience a film that made nerds
cry...
VOICE (CONT'D) Nerds cheer...
VOICE (CONT'D) And nerds go...whuh?
VOICE (CONT'D) Explore a brand new Star Trek
universe that takes all the Star Trek aliens you know and love...and
doesn't show any of them. Instead witness:
VOICE (CONT'D) Big eyes!
VOICE (CONT'D) Long Face!
VOICE (CONT'D) Tic-Tac Eyes!
VOICE (CONT'D) And Tan Mom!
VOICE (CONT'D) Prepare to be blown away by what
was essentially JJ Abram's Star Wars demo reel.
VOICE (CONT'D) It's a saga that asks all the
important questions, like: why does Chris Pine make this same stupid
face every time he gets punched?
VOICE (CONT'D) And oh, Winona Ryder's still working?
VOICE (CONT'D) So blast off into a new era of
actually watchable Star Trek films, filled with action, excitement,
and...lens flares.
VOICE (CONT'D) And even more flares!
VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously, how can anyone even see on this ship?
VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...
VOICE (CONT'D) Zapp Brannigan
VOICE (CONT'D) Spork
VOICE (CONT'D) Oh my!
VOICE (CONT'D) Space Natiri
VOICE (CONT'D) Mike Tyson
VOICE (CONT'D) No one's favorite
VOICE (CONT'D) Keith Urban
VOICE (CONT'D) Groundskeeper Willie
VOICE (CONT'D) Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry
VOICE (CONT'D) And...Old Spork
VOICE (CONT'D) Star Trek.
VOICE (CONT'D) Man that was cool. So how long til
they reboot Next Generation? Man
that is gonna be radical!