- Hey everybody, it's finally Friday!
I'm so excited 'cause we have
a three-day weekend, what?
So it's like, you know that day on Sunday when you wake up
and you're like, oh, I gotta go to work tomorrow?
We don't have to.
Hey, we got Monday off, so.
Anyways, my regular video will come out on Monday,
just like always, don't worry.
And when it's Friday here at
katimorton.com, I'm on Facebook.
So if you asked your questions, used the hashtag KatiFAQ,
I may have already answered it
'cause I was just on answering questions.
But I have three that I'm gonna talk about today in a video
'cause I feel like everyone can benefit from them.
And then I have a wonderful journal topic
from Amelia, thanks Amelia.
So, without further ado, let's get going.
First question, "Do you ever have eating disorder patients
"in therapy that have no idea anymore what they like?"
All the time.
"Colors, music, styles, I feel lost.
"You said that trying new things will help,
"but how can, if we like nothing, try new things?
"I know that I don't like anything, even the new stuff."
I thought this was a good question because
the real answer for it is, I believe I've talked
about this before, and that's where she's getting
the information about trying new things.
And that's how we figure out
what we like, we try new things.
People ask us to go to things,
and we live in the land of yes.
I'd like to go to this party, sure.
I wanna try out this club, yeah.
I'm gonna try this instrument, sure.
I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna join a sports team,
I'm gonna join a journaling club, I'm gonna knit.
I'm gonna whatever because we slowly
have to figure out who we are.
Just like all of us do, right?
I mean, I'm still learning things about myself,
things I like, things I don't like.
People I like, people I don't like.
We have to figure out who we are slowly.
And from this question, I would encourage you to see a
therapist or a psychiatrist because when we don't enjoy
anything, and we struggle to even find enjoyment in
anything, I would be more concerned about your depression.
Because depression is really sneaky and oftentimes,
we don't recognize its existence when all we notice
is that we don't really enjoy things anymore.
Or we don't really like the things we used to like.
That's the sneakiest way it gets in.
And we call it anhedonia in the therapy world,
which sounds like it's a ridiculous name.
I don't know why they call it that, but it just means loss
of pleasure in activities that you used to find pleasurable.
So I think I would encourage you to check that out,
get help with that, work on your depression,
and then worry about figuring out
what kind of colors, styles, activities you like.
Because that will come after that.
We can't really enjoy much when we're
feeling really down-in-the-dumps, right?
Okay, I hope that helps.
Question number two, "Hey Kati, my counselor
"told me that she's frustrated."
Well, that doesn't sound very helpful.
"'Cause I ask for help but I don't accept the help
"and so she doesn't know how to help me.
"I don't realize I'm doing that, and I feel bad
"that she's frustrated, and I'm also frustrated.
"Does this mean that I'm an untreatable client?
"I've been seeing two counselors and a social worker
"for a year, year-and-a-half.
"Plus, I saw counselors before that.
"I'm gonna be 21, and I'm not improving.
"I refuse hospitals 'cause I'm scared,
"and my family would be really mad.
"I don't wanna have that happen again.
"How can I improve, or is this just my life?"
I thought this was really good because, as a therapist,
if any other therapists are listening, howdy,
we've all felt that way at one point or another.
And clients have felt that way at one point or another.
Because what we're working on is really difficult.
And some patients or clients, or whatever you wanna call
them, some of the people that come to see me,
like I talked about yesterday, and this will be a nice
liaison into question number three,
but they're not ready to get help.
They're not ready to change.
They're not ready to make things different.
And that's okay.
Sometimes we're just not ready.
And it can take time.
But once we are ready, then we can make those changes
and won't feel so frustrated, if that makes sense.
So, it's normal to be frustrated.
No, you're not untreatable.
Personally, I mean I guess it's fine
for a therapist to say that.
I don't know if I'd say that to my clients.
I might say, it doesn't seem like you're ready
to change and try the hard things, is that correct?
And see what they say.
So I might take a day, take some time,
and journal about where you feel you are.
Are you willing to make changes, are you willing to try
the hard things, are you willing to be uncomfortable
and to cry and feel vulnerable and really get in there?
If you're not, then this is how you may feel.
This isn't your life, this isn't
something that's gonna happen forever.
Don't feel like you're locked in and you can't get out,
and you're handcuffed to some horrible situation.
That's not the way it is.
I just think that if you're
ready to work on it
and ready to dig in deep, then you won't feel so frustrated
and your therapist won't feel so frustrated.
Does that make sense?
Because when we aren't ready to do the work, we're stagnant.
We're just like treading water, you know?
And it's exhausting at the same time.
And it's hard work, but we're not really getting
to the shore, we're not getting where we wanted to get.
So I would start thinking about that.
Start seeing if you can prepare yourself to be ready.
And that goes into question number three.
Which is, "Hey Kati, I'm not sure if it's too late,"
it clearly wasn't,
"but in your recent video, you mentioned that a person
"has to be ready to heal, but how do we know that we're
"ready and how can we prepare ourselves to become ready?
"I'm not sure whether that actually makes sense,
"so feel free to void this question."
Well, I didn't, 'cause it makes complete sense.
"Also, thanks for all you do."
So, how do we know we're ready to get better?
We don't have to be "ready".
Maybe I shouldn't have used that term.
Sometimes I say things and I think, you know,
this would've been a better word for that.
Because it's a video and I'm doing the best I can,
and it's, you're kinda just getting me
as I would say it in a session.
You just have to be willing to participate.
You don't have to be so ready for change thinking like,
I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that.
Some people are, but sometimes you just come into therapy
thinking I can't live the way I live anymore.
And I need to do something.
I don't know what it is, but I just can't live this way.
And that's honestly all you need.
Because that shit feeling, like when we're like holy crap.
Like for me, for instance, when I decide I need to go back
into therapy, it's when I'm really tearful easily.
I feel really stressed and anxious a lot of my day.
And I'm like, I just feel like I just can't
keep up with everything, right?
I start feeling that sense of overwhelm.
I'm like, ugh, I gotta call Jana.
Because I can't live like that, that's not a way to live.
No one likes to feel that way.
So if you feel that like, ugh, I can't be like this anymore,
use that as motivation to help you challenge those things.
Think differently, try new things.
Try to cope differently, try to take time for yourself.
Whatever it is you're working on, try to
spend time in your, kind of, calm mind longer.
Maybe meditate more, whatever you can do.
Use the shit feeling that we get, and the reason we're
in therapy to begin with, to keep you motivated.
'Cause all you have to be
is present and willing to be in it.
You don't have to be ready to do everything
and change everything, 'cause nobody is.
You just have to be willing to participate in the therapy.
Does that make sense?
That makes you ready, in my mind.
Willing, just willing, 'kay?
And journal topic, thanks Amelia.
I'm just gonna read what she wrote,
'cause I thought it was really great.
"I watched the film About Time last week about a man
"who can travel back in time over his own timeline."
Very cool, I haven't seen this film.
"At the end, he says, 'I live each day as if I've come back
"'to enjoy it as my last and enjoy all the wonderful little
"'moments of my amazing, ordinary life.
"'After all, we're all traveling through time together.
"'The least we can do is enjoy the ride.'"
And she says, "I love this because
"it reminded me of the joy that can be found
"in ordinary moments of the most mundane day.
"There is beauty in everyone's life
"if you just look for it."
And I think that's the key phrase at the very end
when she says, "if you just look for it."
Sometimes we have to be reminded
to pay attention to the wonderful things.
Thankful for the fact that you get up
and you can stand on your own legs.
Or you get up and you can see the beautiful sky.
Or you breathe in and out, or I have a roof
over my head and I can feed myself.
There are so many beautiful moments.
Or as beautiful as a friend that puts her arm
around you or hugs you when you're sad.
Or someone that texts you or calls you,
or likes one of your photos and comments
on it, or whatever it is.
There's so many of those little moments that are filled
with love, filled with beauty, filled with joy,
and we just have to be reminded to look for them.
So let's try to do that this weekend as you enjoy
potentially your three-day weekend,
if you're here in the States.
If not, it's still a weekend.
It's the freakin' weekend, so enjoy it.
I'll see you all on Tuesday, I'll be on Tumblr.
On Monday, I'll have my regular video coming out
and it's a good one, so don't forget
to subscribe, so you don't miss it.
Okay, have a wonderful weekend, bye.