Last night on the show,
we had this big moment that I think
has resonated across the country.
That's right, we revealed the snack
that Joe Biden looks the most like.
Let me explain.
Last week, I asked my fans to go to teamcoco.com
and vote on which snack Joe Biden looks the most like.
Why did we do this?
Well, Donald Trump, we know,
has been compared to an orange Cheeto
for four or five years now.
And we thought, okay, that's done.
But what snack item does Joe Biden,
the new president, resemble most?
Well, guess what?
Our fans overwhelmingly chose Japanese shrimp chip.
I think that's a good decision, Andy.
I endorse it fully.
Yeah. This is exciting.
And now that we know that according to America,
Biden looks like a Japanese shrimp chip,
we can now work that comparison into our monologue jokes.
And our monologue will be as edgy and political as ever.
Let's get to it, shall we? Check these out.
Today president elect Biden
finally met with president Trump at the White House.
The two men got along pretty well
until Trump dunked Biden in a ponzu sauce.
Cause of the shrimp chip.
Yep.
Joe Biden is polling surprisingly well among libertarians
and even better among pescatarians.
We're on fire. You can't not like any of these.
I dare you, internet.
These are perfect. Yeah.
Good God.
The Biden people must be just shitting themselves right now.
These are so deadly.
Here we go.
Joe Biden is exactly like a Japanese shrimp chip.
There were plenty of better choices for your party,
but if he's all you've got, he'll do.
Hahaha. Ah, man.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Here we go.
Did you know both Joe Biden and shrimp chips
have one thing in common?
They both have a shelf life of 120 years.
Kazang! Kazangaroo!
Here we go.
Biden is just like a shrimp chip
in that Donald Trump will never have either one
at the white house for lunch.
There's animosity between Biden and Trump.
And he wouldn't like a shrimp chip anyway.
Here we go. Joe Biden is just like a bag of shrimp chips.
Both recently spent four years on the shelf.
(laughs) Yes! Yes!
And that's it, that's all we got. But c'mon!.
Biden's lucky we didn't think of this in June.
Yes.
If we thought of Japanese shrimp chip in June,
he would not be our president right now.
We held off because this is devastating.
What can you accomplish as a world leader
when everyone knows you look like a Japanese shrimp chip?
This is going to devastate him with world leaders.
He's going to try and meet with everybody
to talk about the economy,
to get together with other world leaders,
they're gonna be like, "here comes the shrimp chip!"
Death. Anyway, glad we held off.
And congratulations America for coming up
with the perfect snack food
that president elect Joe Biden looks just like.