[garbled talking, slowly becoming more intelligible]
FRED: I did everything I could for her. Absolutely everything.
And whenever I asked if there was something else...
... anything else...
... she always said, "Oh, you're so sweet, but no!"
She was always so unhappy.
And that's when I realized she was never really into me, you know?
Or, maybe she was.
But at some point, I said something, or did something...
You ever get that kind of feeling?
That you maybe messed up except you have no idea how?
Or when?
Or why, or whatever?
But I guess it's all for the best, right?
I mean, if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be, and that's that!
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of my life.
At least, that's what I tell myself every morning when I wake up.
And every night before I go to bed, and on my coffee breaks...
"Fred: the next chapter of your life starts now!
"And you can write whatever you want in it!"
I tell myself that.
Really helps to talk it all out.
Hey, you don't look too good.
Ah, well. It's eleven o'clock.
I'm pulling a really hard shift.
I gotta open tomorrow at six in the morning!
But I guess I can't complain, since I applied for the overtime.
Means I gotta kick you out, though, buddy!
EVAN: Uh-huh.
FRED: Catch you later, dudester!
THEME: "Days Into Night" by Sweet Mother Logic
FRED: Oh! Hello!
FRED: So I applied to another cafÃ©, but I guess somebody already got the job.
Can I getcha anything else there, friend?
You have a look of a man in need of a danish or a cruller!
EVAN: No, thank you.
FRED: Are you sure?
A tart, maybe?
We have the best tarts.
Raspberry tarts.
EVAN: No. Thank you.
FRED: Who doesn't love a scrumptious raspberry tart?!
No one, that's who.
Bonjour! Good afternoon!
Bienvenue Ã l'Oeufrier! Mon nom est Fred.
Toute seule aujourd'hui?
KAT: No, I'm just looking for him.
FRED: Awesome possum. Can I get you something?
KAT: No, no, I just want him.
FRED: Gotcha. Gotcha!
Look, he could probably use the company.
Been alone here since yesterday.
KAT: Okay.
You're a hard man to find, Evan.
EVAN: I'm just grading papers.
KAT: Very noble of you.
Can we get outta here? We gotta talk.
EVAN: What about?
KAT: You, me, Shane...
... your LARP...
FRED: Wait, did you say you had a LARP?!
EVAN: Oh, fuck.
FRED: You run LARPs?!
You've been here all this time and you never mentioned you run LARPs?!
What kind?
Uh... medieval fantasy? Vampires? Pulp adventure?
Officially sanctioned, or houseruled?
Or... changelings?!
EVAN: I'm not running anything right now.
FRED: Oh, but you will! You're a GM.
Look, I can totally play! I'm experienced, see?
Ahh!
This one's a sheriff from an enchanted Wild West!
Rrrgh! This one's a swashbuckling sorcerer!
And this one is an avenging cyberpunk angel of Death.
KAT: There are like twenty character sheets here.
FRED: Yeah... I don't last in games too long.
KAT: We'll let you know.
FRED: Yeah, just give me a call!
You know, for anything!
Or just to chillax!
Chillaxamundo!
[chuckle] They'll be back.
Ooh! Nice!
KAT: First move's yours.
Game day tomorrow.
EVAN: Is it?
It's complicated, Kat.
KAT: I'm not sure it is.
Have you even read Shane's LARP articles?
Arthur says you're never home, lately.
What've you been doing?
EVAN: Grading papers.
KAT: Evan, I want to be on your side. I really do.
But you've gotta give me something, here.
EVAN: [sighs] I can't be around people right now.
I can't sleep, my stomach's all twisted up.
KAT: Why?
EVAN: When I see people upset about the game...
... my game...
... I can't help but feel responsible.
And, now I've just found out that anyone with Internet access
can find out just how badly I've screwed up.
KAT: I think if you actually read Shane's articles, you'd feel differently.
EVAN: I dunno.
In the end, wasn't my game just a job for Shane?
KAT: She should have told you, that's for sure.
EVAN: Yeah. She should have. Check.
KAT: You're good!
EVAN: Doesn't feel like it lately.
I put the game in front of its players.
If that doesn't make me a bad GM and a worse friend...
... what does it make me?
KAT: Human.
You've gotta let yourself make mistakes.
EVAN: But, if the LARP's GM--
KAT: The LARP can survive a screw-up or two.
It doesn't need to be perfect.
I love this little universe that I get to visit every week.
I love being part of a story and finding out what happens next.
If it wasn't for Shane's articles, I never would have tried LARPing.
And, if it wasn't for you, none of this would exist.
EVAN: D-did you want to finish the game?
KAT: The game's over, Evan. I win in four moves.
EVAN: What?!
KAT: Mate in four!
I'd love to play again, but you need to get ready for tomorrow.
And loser cleans up.
KAT: Nice.
SHANE: Still don't know if I should be here.
BRITTANY: Why not?! I mean, Evan didn't kick you out.
And we want you to keep playing with us.
KAT: Arthur! You ready to have your curse lifted?
I finished my spell research since last session.
ARTHUR (IC): Oh, thank the gods! Cleric to the rescue!
WILL: Yeah, but... where is Evan?
ARTHUR: I have no idea.
ARTHUR (IC): So, um... what's next for us?
Where does fate lead us next?
EVAN (IC): Fohsiluk knows! Your next goal is right here.
And you can have it--if you can catch Fohsiluk!
[whooping]
BRITTANY (IC): After him!
WILL: Nuh-uh.
KAT: We don't chase him?
WILL: Nope. Last time this happened,
Evan managed to stay hidden for an hour and Arthur fell in a ravine.
KAT: Eesh.
WILL: Yeah. Wait for Evan to double back. Get him then.
KAT: Okay.
WILL: Mm-hmm!
I do this a lot. Don't worry.
KAT: D'you wanna sit?
WILL: Yes.
KAT: Okay!
SHANE (IC): Ah-hah!
I've got you now, you impudent little twerp!
SHANE: Evan, can we--
EVAN (IC): [whooping]
SHANE: --talk.
Okay.
KAT: You're sure about this?
WILL: Wait for it...
ARTHUR: (shouting) Not again! [splash]
WILL: Wait for it...!
EVAN (IC): [whooping]
[grunt of pain]
[continued groaning]
WILL: I'm just too good.
EVAN: [grunts]
KAT: You really got him. I gotta say, I was not expecting that.
WILL: Sure did. That's how I do.
The ravine again?
ARTHUR: I don't wanna talk about it.
WILL: Hey, you better not make my car smell like ravine-funk on the way home!
WILL: Yikes!
KAT: Yeah.
BRITTANY: Thanks for coming back.
EVAN: How're you holding up, Brit?
BRITTANY: Okay, I guess. I've been given a lot to think about lately.
EVAN: Just as long as you're okay.
BRITTANY: Why did you come back?
EVAN: I almost didn't.
BRITTANY: What changed your mind?
Kat said something, didn't she?
KAT: Um, I thought he'd be wearing boxers.
SHANE: Guys... we have to go to a place named Ithilden Iaun.
This is a ritual to restore the Eleventh Eye to full power.
MIA: One thing before you guys go.
Evan asked us to help him out with his next session.
You guys cool with that?
CLAUDIA: Sure, Mia. We'll be there.
TINA: All right, well, this is it.
We're not gonna get a golden opportunity like this again.
MAX: So, what's the plan? We just go in there, guns blazing?
DANNY: They don't play with guns.
MAX: Swords blazing, then.
HAROLD: Are we allowed blazing swords?
Are NPCs allowed magic items like that?!
DANNY: Whatever, Harold.
TINA: So, we move in and we gank the fucker.
HAROLD: Who? Arthur?
DANNY: He killed Gertie Featherspark.
HAROLD: [sighs] Are we sure we wanna feed the circle of hate?
[general dissent from Danny, Max, and Tina]
HAROLD: Geez, sorry!
DANNY: So, done deal, then. We gank Arthur's PC.
CLAUDIA: No.
I don't want an eye for an eye. I want to scorch the earth.
HAROLD: Y-you mean...
CLAUDIA: I want Arthur to suffer.
I want... a TPK.