- This puppy came for the milk taste test!
(kissing sounds)
I've had many types of milk, but I've never had dog's milk.
- I would never drink a glass of milk.
- Oh, I would.
- I drink milk every day.
- Do you like milk?
- Um, it's sort of, milk kind of freaks me out.
I drink a lot of soy milk.
- Do you get farty?
(girl laughs)
- It'll be good to find out
if I'm lactose intolerant (laughs).
- It smells like a barn.
- This one's heavier.
(coughs in disgust)
- Creamy, damn! - Yeah.
- Oh my god, I hate it.
- Something really depressed produced this milk.
- I do think goats are also weirdly
the children and spawn of Satan.
- It's got that bitterness to it that goat cheese has.
- Have you seen a goat eye up close?
Their pupils are rectangular.
- I can't do it again, I can't drink anymore.
- This is goat's milk, and it's very good.
- I just never wanted to lick a goat.
- It almost smells like cookie dough.
- Oh, that smells kind of sweet.
- Yeah, fruity.
Did you milk the teats of a fruit bat?
- It's so sweet.
- Ooh!
- It tastes like a melted soft serve
that's been diluted, twice.
- What about this is milk?
- It's white.
- Full of water, cane sugar, vanilla extract,
that gives it the vanilla taste.
- Oh, they faked it.
- Flax seed milk, I like it.
- Delicious.
- Mm hmm.
- I'd drink more.
- I don't like this smell.
- Oh this smells like another animal milk.
- Smells cheesy.
- Yeah.
(grunts in disgust)
- I got at a chunk, immediately.
- Ugh! - Didn't like it.
- Nope.
- I mean, it doesn't bad,
but you saying that you had a chunk,
- Right. - Means I'm done.
- This tastes like liquid mac and cheese.
- There's a certain distant staleness to it.
- I didn't know sheep could milk.
I mean, it makes sense, they have babies, but like--
- I don't think I like milk!
I came into this test loving milk,
you hated milk, and now I hate milk (laughs).
Our final milk.
- It looks almost like, like white paint.
- I don't have any floaters.
- This one smells heavy.
- What is this?
- Not for me.
- No.
- It tastes like a corn husk.
- It tastes like grass.
- It tastes like grass! - Grassy!
- There's a millisecond for which it is okay.
Then, there's some horrible
wood-ish taste. - Yeah.
- It's weird, it has a texture to it.
- There's no way this will get you high, right?
- It's a "no" for the hemp milk.
- First, I'm amazed at our ability
to make milk out of anything.
- When we were kids, we only had one milk.
- Yeah. - Came from the cow.
- My question is, how competitive
is the fake milk industry?
- I don't know, I guess,
I'll stick to soy milk.
(girl laughs) - There seems to be
a lot of different companies.
Are they neck and neck?
Who's on top?
- This is the milk you drink-- - Yeah.
- After a hard day's work.
Come home, you stand over your fireplace,
you swirl the milk in a tumbler,
you regret your life decisions,
why you married Barbara so young,
- And you drink this milk. - And you drink this milk.