Hello, and welcome to another edition of Narcissism 101.
This is a livestream, so I'm here live with all of you.
On Tuesdays, I usually try to do my Ask the Attorney Anything, and on Thursdays I try
to do my Narcissism 101 series.
I really think it's important for all of you to understand the basics of narcissism if
you're going to be able to negotiate with a narcissist and be able to negotiate your
way out of this hell of a black hole that you're in right now.
I think it's really essential to understand the mind of a narcissist and what you're dealing
with because 99.9% of attorneys do not understand narcissism.
They do not understand what it is that you're dealing with and so they try to talk you into
doing things like a collaborative approach or or playing nice in a lot of ways.
When you're dealing with a narcissist, that's never going to work because attorneys don't
understand that narcissists get narcissistic supply from making you squirm and jerking
you around in the court system.
Hi, Martina from Germany, so excited that you're here.
I'm really glad that you're here.
I see somebody here from New York City.
I'm so grateful for you and grateful that we've been able to create this community so
that all of you have access to information and content and resources that are actual
help for you, real step-by-step guidance, not just, okay, you're in a relationship with
a narcissist and here are their traits.
Great, how does that help me, right?
How do I actually get out of this thing?
How do I actually get to a point where I could potentially shift the dynamic and shift the
conversation and turn this thing around so I don't constantly feel like I'm on the defensive,
actually feel like I can go on the offensive for a change?
That's what I do for you right here on this channel and in these videos and on these lives.
If you haven't subscribed to my channel, make sure that you do that now.
Subscribe, hit that notification bell so that you can get notified when I upload brand new
videos and content.
I actually do a lot of interviews as well and try to bring you people that I think will
be helpful for you and actually make a huge difference in your lives.
I see somebody here, Chef Maximus from LA.
You're just right here near me, because I'm here in LA as well.
Hi, Gary from North Carolina.
I see Dusty saying, "Divorcing a narcissist after 27 years and winning."
I love to hear that, that makes me so happy.
Hi, Rhonda from Missouri.
Let's see.
I see, [Taneiki 00:03:28], I hope I'm saying your name right, from the Netherlands.
Narcissism knows no bounds.
We've got viewers on my channel and people who purchase my programs from literally every
continent on the planet and almost every country in the world at this point now and every state.
I'm slowly but surely trying to take up this crusade to help you guys, save you guys, from
these narcissists.
Today's topic is ghosting.
I wanted to talk about ghosting and the difference between ghosting and no contact, because I
think it's really important that you understand that one is something that the narcissist
uses and the other is something that we, as the victims and targets of narcissists, need
to do.
Ghosting is something that a narcissist uses in order to manipulate you, in order to control
you, in order to hurt you, to abuse you.
They stop talking to you, they stop communicating with you, so that you panic and you start
really trying to like, "Oh, please take me back."
It's all part of the trauma bonding, it's part of that whole cycle of love bombing versus
devaluing.
It's love bombing, devaluing, discard.
I do have videos on each one of the areas, the phases of the relationship.
If you haven't watched those videos, you should go back and check them out.
But it starts with love bombing, it always ends with a discard, but in between there,
they can actually vacillate between all of the different phases of the relationships.
It could be love bombing and devaluing and discard, and then back to love bombing.
You're going back and forth all of the time.
Whereas no contact is something that we use as the targets, as the victims, to finally
protect ourselves from the abuse, to finally put up a barrier against that constant love
bombing, devaluing, discard, toxic stew, that you're constantly being subjected to, the
gas lighting, the intimidation tactics.
When you go into the process of either you trying to discard a narcissist in the relationship
or they're discarding you, it doesn't really matter, as long as they see their narcissistic
supply walking out the door and they're afraid that you're going to expose them, then they're
going to want to get you first.
That's why, in a divorce setting or even a breakup of a business partner or any kind
of a setting where you're trying to extricate yourself from that relationship, the first
thing that they're going to do is try to get you first, try to take you down.
It becomes the fight of your life because with a narcissist you're either for them or
against them, it can't be that you just happily shake hands, come to a nice little fair resolution
and walk away, because it's not about that for them.
It's about winning, it's about taking you down, it's about making you look bad.
It's about they get supply from that.
Normal people go, "Well, okay, what does the law say about how we end this thing and let's
just come up with a nice resolution that is basically what the law would provide."
I've had many narcissistic clients who have said to me, "I'd rather pay you than the other
person," because they actually prefer to pay the lawyer because of the supply that they
get that what feeds their ego.
If you want to know more about narcissistic supply, I do you have a video in this Narcissism
101 series on narcissistic supplies, so go and check that out.
But what most lawyers and judges do not understand, the court system does not understand, is that
these people don't want to settle the case.
That's why they constantly move the goalpost and constantly come up with reasons why they
can't settle the case at this particular time.
Of course, it's always your fault, right?
But ghosting is a tactic that they use to stop communicating and stop talking with a
person, but it's used as a method of manipulation, a method of abuse.
It is something that they try to torture their victims or their targets by using.
That's what that is.
I'm just looking to see where all of you guys are from.
Let me know, I love seeing where you guys are from.
Somebody is saying, "I'm the only one who ever apologized."
Yeah, I did a whole video on do narcissists apologize, and if so, do they mean it?
But narcissists use what we call faux apologies, which is they really only apologize in order
to try to manipulate you again.
Everything is a form of a manipulation, of course.
Hi, Juliann from Mesa, Arizona.
Hi, Craig from Birmingham, UK.
I have lots of viewers from the UK.
Let's see what we got here.
I have Oshkosh, Heidi from Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and Heather from Utah, and Mark from Australia.
Lots of viewers from Australia as well.
Hi, Sean from New Jersey.
Craig says, "Keep the vids coming."
I will.
I'm creating new content all the time because I get incredible, incredible feedback from
you guys on the comments.
If you are getting ready to negotiate with the narcissist and you haven't gotten my free
Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet, it's basically an ebook, you should definitely
go get that now.
You can just go to winmynegotiation.com, literally thousands of people have downloaded it at
this point and I've gotten so much good feedback on how it's helped them.
Go to winmynegotiation.com, grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet.
If you like this video, give me a like, share it, because it'll end up being on my channel
forever, so share it with people who are dealing with ghosting or dealing with narcissists,
and leave me a comment.
I am so glad that you're here.
If you haven't joined my free, private Facebook group, come join me on that too.
It's just Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
You can just look for it in Facebook.
If you don't want to use Facebook, I know a lot of people feel weird about Facebook,
you can always create an account with like a fake name or something, but then that way
you can at least be in there and getting the support and connection with other people in
the group.
Make sure you subscribe to my channel, subscribe, hit the notification bell.
I'm also on Instagram at @RebeccZung.com, and on Facebook, I think it's just Rebecca
Zung Top 1% Attorney Narcissist Negotiation Expert.
You can like me on Facebook as well so that when I go live on Facebook, you can grab me
there too.
I also do my Ask the Attorney Anythings on there and in my free webinars.
I'll make sure that there was a link to the free webinar in the first comment as well.
I try to give you guys as much content as I possibly can so that you can escape these
relationships.
As many of you know, not only have I dealt with them in my law practice for more than
20 years, but I've also had to extricate myself from a couple of narcissistic relationships,
which is why I can speak so passionately about this, why I know so much about this, and why
I feel so personally committed to getting you the best information and getting you out
of these relationships.
It's my personal crusade.
Thank you so much for joining me today and joining me here on my channel.
Keep being part of my community and hopefully it'll make a huge difference for you.
I send you light, and I send you love, and I send you peace and courage and support.
Thank you again.
I'm Rebecca Zung, see you in the next video.