If the latest big-budget superhero blockbuster gave you that gnawing feeling in your bladder
that comes with a padded runtime, then you may not be familiar with the world of "slow
cinema."
Some movies are long enough to make Blade Runner: 2049 look like a teaser trailer.
And not just experimental films either, but movies actually intended for theatrical audiences
to sit through.
So grab a popcorn and some adult diapers, because here's a look at the longest movies
in history.
Tie Xi Qu: West of the Tracks
China's transition out of strict communist socialism was a long and painful one, and
the 2003 documentary Tie Xi Qu: West of the Tracks presents those struggles in heartbreaking
detail.
Filmed over two years by director Wang Bing, the film charts the decline of the Tie Xi
industrial district as it withers away, leaving tens of thousands of workers without jobs.
Variety wrote that
"...viewers will find themselves hypnotized by its density and artistic integrity."
...though it added that the film's nine hour and 11 minute runtime was at least an hour
too long.
Shoah
Directed by Claude Lanzmann, the 1985 French documentary Shoah is perhaps the single most
vital document of those who survived the Holocaust, featuring nine hours and 26 minutes of interviews
with people who actually lived through it.
The great Roger Ebert described it powerfully, writing,
"There is no proper response to this film.
It is an enormous fact, a 550-minute howl of pain and anger in the face of genocide.
It is one of the noblest films ever made."
Shoah is widely considered to be one of the greatest documentaries of all time, but that
doesn't mean you'll have fun watching it - when the film was screened in Israel for the first
time, one audience member fainted and another suffered a heart attack.
How Yukong Moved the Mountains
During China's cultural revolution of the early 1970s, Dutch filmmaker Joris Ivens spent
several years chronicling the transformation of Chinese society.
The result was the 1976 documentary How Yukong Moved the Mountains, which at 12 hours and
43 minutes is the third longest theatrical film ever made.
Of course, finding a theater that will actually show it is a challenge, but there are museums
that do very rare screenings, so keep your eyes peeled.
Out 1
With a labyrinthine plot of multiple intersecting threads, the 1971 French drama Out 1 may be
the ultimate endurance watch: clocking in at nearly 12 hours, 53 minutes, it challenges
viewers not only to stay in their seats, but to keep track of what the hell's going on
throughout its marathon of a narrative.
So what's it all about?
According to The New York Times, it's a perfect exploration of director Jacques Levette's
pet themes of "life as performance, performance as life, reality as a construction and reality
as someone else's construction impinging on your own."
So, in other words... it's a lot like Macgruber?
"Put your pants back on!
What are you doing!?"
"I don't know!
I don't know what I'm doing!"
Resan: The Journey
The 1987 Swedish documentary Resan is an important film about a sobering topic, examining the
military use of nuclear technology on a global scale, its impact on the environment, and
the public's perception of nukes.
Clocking in at a whopping 14 hours and 33 minutes, Resan is the single longest theatrical
film ever produced, screening at several film festivals in 1987.
Now it can be seen on a 5 DVD box set, split into 19 chapters for a slightly easier viewing
experience.
Taiga
Ulrike Ottinger has been in the documentary film business for over 40 years, tackling
a wide range of topics all over the globe.
But perhaps her most notable effort - or, at least, her longest - is the 1992 film Taiga,
which clocks in at 8 hours and 21 minutes.
An in-depth look at the nomadic tribes of Northern Mongolia, The New York Times said
that Taiga gives viewers
"...much more than a tourist's-eye view of an ancient tribal culture.
At such times, it conveys a sense of really being there."
The works of Lav Diaz
Finally, if there's one name synonymous with insanely long movies, it's Lav Diaz, who has
made an entire career of testing the limits of his fan's bladders.
Perhaps the most famous purveyor of "slow cinema," Diaz made a name for himself with
the 2004 epic Evolution of a Filipino Family, a ten-hour, 47-minute black and white saga
about life under dictator Ferdinand Marcos that took eight years to film.
And that was just the start.
He followed with the 2006 epic Heremias Book One: The Legend of the Lizard Princess, which
clocked in at a relatively succinct nine hours.
A year later, he directed Death in the Land of Encantos, a nine-hour-and-five-minute black
and white saga about super typhoon Durian, which devastated the Philippines in 2006,
killing over a thousand people.
And in 2016, Diaz released A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery, an eight-hour, five-minute
historical saga about the Filipino struggle to liberate themselves from Spain in 1896.
Reviews were mixed, with The Hollywood Reporter saying the film was
"...distinguished by Diaz's trademark disregard for trying the viewer's patience with static
long takes and lack of narrative flow."
Forget about smuggling snacks into the theater - if you see a Diaz film, try sneaking in
a sleeping bag instead!
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