>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY. WELCOME BACK.
FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY NEXT GUEST AS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN, AND
A CORRESPONDENT ON "THE DAILY SHOW."
HIS NEW FILM IS "CONFESS, FLETCH."
SO WHAT DO WE KNOW. >> THINK WE'RE GOING TO TELL
YOU. >> LIVING IN ALLSTON WITH TWO
ROOMMATES WORKED AT A CAMBRIDGE CAFE AS A BAR RESTA?
>> PURSUING A CAREER IN THE >> WE'RE TELLING YOU. ART
WORLD. >> WELL, I EITHER JUST WALKED
INTO A FRAMEUP OR SOMEBODY FROM MY PAST IS TRYING TO GET REVENGE
ON ME. >> WHAT IF IT IS YOU.
PROMINENT PEOPLE AWAY WHEN I >> I DID PUT QUITE A FEW WAS
A REPORTER AT THE NEWS TRIBUNE IN LOS ANGELES.
>> I LOOKED INTO YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD.
>> AND. >> BAD CHECK CHARGE.
TWO CONTEMPT OF COURT CHARGES. A NUMBER OF NONPAYMENT OF
ALIMONY CHARGES. >> 100% OF MOST OF THOSE WERE
DISMISSED. >> Stephen:
BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW," ROY >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME WOOD JR!
>> YEAH. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU, I WILL START OUT APROPOS OF
ARE YOU TALLER THAN I THINK NOTHING. WHEN
YOU COME HERE. >> BECAUSE ON ITS DAILY SHOW
SHORT. >> Stephen: DOES HE DO TREVOR BE MAKING MY CHAIR THAT
THING WHERE HIS HAIR CHAIR IS HIGHER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE'S.
GLAD TO BE WORKING, BLACK MAN >> YEAH, BUT IT'S GOOD, I'M ON THE
FIRST DAY OF A NEW JOB. >> Stephen: KILLING IT.
ABSOLUTELY KILLING IT TONIGHT. >> THAT IS A NEW JOB SMILE, I
KNOW, THAT I RECOGNIZE THE NEW JOB SMILE.
>> Stephen: LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG, IT
WAS 2018. >> AIN'T NOT A LOT HAPPENED.
>> Stephen: HOW YOU HAVE BEEN. >> MY LIFE NOW IS THERAPY AND
IN THERAPY OR MULTIVITAMIN MULTIVITAMINS. CAN'T
SOLVE T I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO THAT HAS BEEN MY
PLAN, BECAUSE YOU KNOW DURING THE PANDEMIC EVERYBODY STARTED
DRUGS AND EXPERIMENTING AND I MIGHT CIRCLE BACK TO CRACK BUT
FOR NOW, MULTIVITAMINS. YOU KNOW WHAT IS REALLY MESSED
UP ABOUT MULTIVITAMIN STTS ULTIMATE IN AMERICAN LAZINESS.
ST BASICALLY YOU DON'T WANT TO-- IF YOU TOOK ALL THE
VITAMINS YOU WILL BE-- I DON'T WANT TO TAKE ALL.
GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF EVERY VITAMIN IN ONE VITAMIN AND THEN
I WILL TAKE THAT VITAMIN. THE.
>> Stephen: THE ULTIMATE LAZINESS OF AMERICA IS IF YOU
JUST ATE A [BLEEP] VEGETABLE YOU WOULDN'T NEED ANY OF THE
MULTIVITAMINS. >> YEAH, ALSO THAT, ALSO THAT.
BUT IT'S BEEN FUN TRYING TO FIGURE ALL THIS STUFF OUT, ALL
THESE NEW CONCOCTION COXS AND STUFF COMING OUT DURING THE
I DON'T KNOW WHAT AN PANDEMIC. ELDERBERRY
IS. WHAT IS THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN MAKE WINE FROM IT I KNOW ELDERBERRY WINE,
YOU CAN DO THAT. >> I WENT TO SCHOOL, I THOUGHT
WE QUOFERRED ALL THE BERRIES. STRAW, RASP, BLUE, ET CETERA.
>> BLACK. >> OF COURSE, HOW DID I FORGET
BLACK. BUT ELDER JUST CAME OUT OF
NOWHERE. LIKE.
>> Stephen: IT IS OLDER THAN THE OTHER BERRIES.
WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW. >> YEAH, YEAH.
THERAPY BECAUSE I'M A BIG FAN >> Stephen: YOU LIKE THE OF
THERAPY. >> YEAH, IT'S BEEN-- TO PAY
SOMEONE MONEYEE AND YOUR CIRCLE IS ALSO NOT PAYING PEOPLE MONEY.
ALL THERAPY DO IS SHOW YOU EVERYBODY IN YOUR LIFE NOT GOING
THERAPY AND SHOW YOU BECOME THEIR THERAPIST, LIKE YOU START
USING THE TRICKS YOU LEARNED. YOU KNOW-- YOU NEED TO DEFINE
YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE AND UNPACK THAT. OH ALSO I APOLOGIZE THERE
SAY RASP. >> I'M SORRY, WERE YOU AT A
STRIP CLUB WITH-- WHEN? WRDGES A WEEK OR SO.
>> Stephen: ABOUT A WEEK OR SO, WHY WOULD YOUR THROAT BE
RASPY AFTER GOING TO A STRIP CLUB?
>> I CAN'T BE TELLING IT YOU EVERYTHING, MAN.
I QUBT TELL YOU EVERYTHING. >> Stephen: I HAVE NEVER BEEN
INVITED INTO THAT ROOM. >> FIRST STEP IS TO GET ON T
PAYNE'S PODCAST AND THEN YOU ARE JUST OUT IN PUBLIC AT RANDOM
TIMES, T PAYNE APPEARS AND GOES, AND THEN HE-- .
HIGH AND HE JUST FOUND OU OR >> Stephen: ARE YOU IN LIE DO
YOU GO TO HIGH TOY TO GO TO THIS EVENT.
SHOWS IN HAWAII, WE WERE BOTH >> NO, WE WERE BOTH DOING COOL, SO
HE SAID WHERE YOU WANT TO GO HE CAME TO THE SHOW. AND
>> Stephen: WELL, YESTERDAY WAS LABOR DAY, YOU GOT YOUR OWN
PODCAST CALLED BOYS JOB FAIR WHERE YOU TALK TO THE REGULAR
FOLKS OUT THERE. ABOUT DIFFERENT INDUSTRIES,
ABOUT THEIR JOBS, WHY DID YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
>> I DID MORNING RADIO IN BIRMINGHAM FOR TEN YEARS AND
LEARNED A THING THROUGH THE 9 :00 HOUR T WAS LISTENERS, WORKING
SOMEWHERE, TIRING, CALL OUR SHOW AND TELL US SO THAT PEOPLE WHO
ARE UNEMPLOYED WILL KNOW T WAS KIND OF LIKE AN AUDIBLE
CRAIGSLIST, AND SO WHEN THE PANDEMIC HIT AND UNEMPLOYMENT
RISED I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO DO THAT AND THE STATION
IN BIRMINGHAM HAD ALREADY FIRED ME SO THAT WASN'T AN OPTION.
SO PODCASTING WE GO. AND IT'S BEEN GREAT.
YOU LEARN ABOUT SO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS.
ALL THE WAY TO SCHOOL TEACHERS AND STUDENTS, AND WHAT STARTED
AS SOMETHING THAT WAS JUST A LEGITIMATELY HELP PEOPLE TO KNOW
THEY ARE NOT ALONE IN THEIR EMPLOYMENT JOURNEY HAS TURNED
INTO SOMETHING WHERE JUST A COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE CALL IN AND
JUST SHARE WHAT THEY ARE DOING AND IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING THAT
YOU WANT TO DOVMENTD I THINK FOR AS LONG AS WE LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE WE KNOW WE ARE NOT ALONE AND STRUGGLING, MAYBE CAN MAKE
THAT IS WHAT THE BROADCASTS IT TO TOMORROW. ARE.
>> Stephen: THAT IS SOME THERAPY RIGHT THERE.
>> THAT IS THERAPY, YEAH. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
YOU HAVE A SIX YEAR OLD SON, THIS IS BACK TO SCHOOL WEEK,
I WOULD ASSUME YOUR BOY IS AFTER LABOR DAY. GOING
INTO FIRST GRADE. >> YEAH, GET HIM OUT OF THE
HOUSE. >> Stephen: HOW IS THAT GOING.
>> GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. IT IS BITTERSWEET BECAUSE THESE
MOMENTS WITH CHILDREN WHEN THEY ARE 6, 7, 8, FOR ME AT LEAST, I
KNOW THESE ARE THE LAST MOMENTS AS A FATHER THAT I WILL BE ABLE
TO HELP HIM WITH HIS HOMEWORK, AND I KNOW THAT EVENTUALLY I'M
JUST GOING TO HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
ROOTING FOR CRT AND ALL THAT THAT IS WHY I'M KIND OF STUFF.
TAKE THAT STUFF OUT OF THE HISTORY BOOKS SO HE WILL
GRADUATE AT AGE NINE, THEY ARE TAKING HISTORY OUT OF THE BOOKS,
STARTING TO TAKE SCIENCE OUT OF THE BOOKS, AT THIS POINT A HIGH
SCHOOL GRAD WILL BE 11 YEARS OLD F YOU TAKE SCIENCE ALL TOGETHER
OUT THE BOOKS, I SIGN ME UP. >> Stephen: YOU HAVE SOME
SCIENCE CREDENTIALS HERE BECAUSE I SAW, WE GOT THIS HERE, ROY
WOOD EX-JEDI TWITTER HANDLE, 6th GRADE, I FORGOT THE
SCIENCE FAIR WAS NEXT DAY, 10 P.M. IN A PANIC I FIND A LOAF OF
MOLDED BREAD MY POPS FORGOT TO THROW OUT, MADE A STUDY ON MOLD,
MOISTURE AND AIR, GOT SECOND PLACE IN THE SCHOOL, FIFTH IN
THE CITY, BREAD SO MOLDY I WAS PRAISED FOR CONDUCTING WEEKS OF
RESEARCH. Z.
>> YOU'RE WELCOME. WIN IS WIN.
FIND OUT DISURKS EVER CONFESS >> Stephen: WHEN DID PEOPLE TO
THIS? >> JUST NOW.
>> Stephen: ROY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
"CONFESS, FLETCH" IS IN THE NEW MOVIE, THEATERS
AND ON DEMAND ON SEPTEMBER 16. ROY WOOD JR., EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.