Hello. 诶 你好
Hello. 你好
I was invited to come here today. 有人请我来
To be a rent-a-dad. 当出租爸爸
Is it for you? 是你吗
Ah, Chinese New Year. 啊 中国的新年
Hongbaos, fireworks, lanterns 红包 烟花 灯笼
and immense pressure from parents to get married. 和来自父母问及结婚的巨大压力
To avoid the hassle in this modern age, 为了避免在这个摩登时代的麻烦
many single Chinese millennials decide to 有很多单身青年决定去
rent a fake partner to bring home for the holidays. 租假的伴侣带回家过年
This demand fuels an entire ecosystem of services 这个需求驱动着一整个服务生态圈
dedicated to making sure you have someone 绝对确保
in your arm during the festive period. 在春节期间你温暖的手臂里始终有一个人
But it doesn’t stop there, 但是还不只这些
China’s “rent-me" economy has grown 中国的“租我”经济增长了
to offer anything all year round. 甚至全年提供
From girlfriends and boyfriends 从女朋友到男朋友
to bridesmaids and even parents. 从伴娘甚至到父母
Rentable parents offer anything, 租父母可以做任何事情
from a phone call to your teacher, 从可以打电话给你的老师
to support during that awkward first encounter 到支持第一次非常尴尬的
with the girlfriends family. 与女朋友家庭会面
Fake parents can normally be rented 假父母通常可以租用
for as little as 50RMB an hour, 一小时只要50元
with many promoting themselves as full-time professionals 有许多人将自己推广为全职的专业人士
that come with a guarantee 有保证的
to ward off potential social disasters. 来防范潜在的社会问题
So all of this got us thinking about a friend of ours. 所以这一切让我们想到了我们的朋友
Thank you, I was adopted. 谢谢 我是被收养的
I was adopted, thank you thank you. 我被收养了 谢谢 谢谢
I was adopted. 我是被收养的
Thank you. 谢谢你们
I was adopted, thank you. 我是被收养的 谢谢
Thank you. 谢谢
I was adopted, thank you. 我是被收养的 谢谢
That's right, our friend Adam was adopted. 没错 我们的朋友Adam曾经是被收养的
So what we've done is, 所以我们做的是
we’ve rented Adam a fake father for the day. 我们今天为亚当租了个假父亲
We're putting the 'rent' in parent. 我们租赁父母
Adam will have one day to spend Adam将会有一天度过
and relive all of his lost childhood moments. 并重拾他所有失去的童年时光
with his new Chinese dad. 与他的中国爸爸
Hello everyone, my name is A Wang. 大家好 我叫阿王
Being a father to people is my profession. 我的专业工作就是专门给人家做爸爸的
I came here today 今天我到这里来
to be a father for their foreign friend. 也是给一个外国朋友做爸爸
Enjoy my performance. 你们看我的表现吧
Go go go! 去吧去吧去吧
He's upstairs, on you go. 他在楼上 去去去去去
The average person rents me as a father, 一般人租父亲啊
usually for meetings or dinners. 都是为了会议或者饭局
You've rented me for the day. 你租我一天
What do you want to do? 到底想干什么
To be honest, I was a little put off 说实话 我有点没缓过来
by Alessio and Matt getting someone to do this. Alessio 和 Matt来让别人做这个
You know, coming into my life like that. 你知道 就那样进入我的生活
Well, a lot of emotions came at once. 好吧 很多情绪就马上涌现出来了
I just wanted to, like, hug him. 我只想给他个拥抱
I wanted to show him my place. 我想给他看我的居住环境
I am getting healthier. 我变得比较健康啊
Check it out. 你看我
I... 我
I have protein. 我有蛋白质
This is my nutrition. 这是我的营养品
I want to be healthy. 我要变得健康
For example, 比如说
my Vitamin C... 维生素C
I have a son. 我还有个儿子
You also have another? 你还有一个
Yeah, that's right. 哎 对
Oh... 噢
He's a fitness trainer. 健身教练
Okay. 好吧
He competes as an athlete. 他是打比赛的
Ah, okay, okay. 好吧
Okay. 好的
6.2 foot tall. 一米九零
Alright, sure. 好吧
I feel a little awkward. 有一点尴尬
If you really want to develop your fitness in the future. 你要是以后想在健身方面发展的话
I can introduce you to him. 我可以给你介绍认识
Ah, okay. 可以可以
No problem at all. 没问题
I can meet you other son. 我可以认识你另外一个儿子
But it may feel a little bit awkward. 但是让我有一点点尴尬
But anyway, thanks Dad. 但是我谢谢爸爸 谢谢
Nevermind nevermind. Oh we're very happy. 没事没事没事 哎呀很高兴
These are my dumbells. 这是我的哑铃
Everyday I do this. 我每天都是这样子
Okay. 可以
And then after that, 在那之后
you know, I just want to jump into it 然后 我只想跳过这个环节
and have Dad there for my birthday. 和我的爸爸一起过一个生日
Right? 对吧
Everyone loves those moments, right? 每个人都喜欢这一个瞬间 对吧
So that was really cool. 所以这真的很酷
Happy Birthday to me. 我的生日快乐
Yeah yeah yeah! 对对对
Wait wait! 哎哎哎
Now can you... 那你可以
Thank you thank you! 谢谢谢谢
Thank you！ 谢谢
Good, good. 好 好
Can you do what I just did? 你可以做我刚才做的这样子
Oh, copy your movements. 哦 做你的动作啊
Happy Birthday to you. 祝你生日快乐
Happy Birthday to you! 祝你生日快乐
Happy Birthday to you！ 祝你生日快乐
Let's hug! 来 抱一下啊
Ah good, good. 诶 好好好
I was making a wish. 我许了一个愿
It was really hard to think of a wish. 在这个时候真的很难想到一个愿望
Because I felt like, 因为我觉得
well I already got everything. 我已经拥有了一切
It's all right here. 已经实现了
Oh! 噢
Take it. 拿着拿着
Thank you, thank you! 谢谢谢谢
Thanks, Dad. 谢谢爸爸
Aw, don't thank me! 不要谢嘛
It's from your old man, straight from the heart. 做老人的 做爸爸的一个心意哦
Don't thank me! 不要谢 不要谢
As long as you're happy. 只要你开心就好
What is it? 什么东西啊
Oh!!!! 噢
An important moment in every person's life 每个人生命中的重要时刻
is when their Dad teaches them to shave. 就是他们爸爸教他们刮胡子的时候
I..ah... 我 呃
didn't have a Dad. 没有自己的爸爸
So I didn't learn properly, to be honest. 说实话 我还没有亲身感受过
I was shaving with a razor. 我曾经都是用剃须刀刮胡子
So... 所以
I missed that moment. 我缺失这一个瞬间
It was really cool to have someone there, 有他在感觉真的很好
to show me how to do something I already know how to do. 来教我做我已经会做的事情
But to be there like... 只要在那里
I... 我
could... 可能
he could be there for me for that one moment. 那一刻他可以在我身边
Stick it on a place with a lot of beard. 贴住胡子比较多的地方
Then push up. Push up. 往上推 往上推
Actually, he kind of... 其实 他有点
the way he did it was kind of wrong. 他这样做的方式有点不对
You don't want to do it like that. 你不会想要那样做的
But it's fine. 但是没事
It doesn't matter. 这都没关系
It's like the... 就像
it's about the presence, the effort. 这就像是存在和努力的关系
Do not rush. 不要急
Just one by one. 一块一块的来
Did you like that? 喜欢吧
I liked it! 喜欢
Great! If you're happy, I'm happy! 嗯好 你喜欢我就高兴了
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 耶耶耶
I really like him as a Dad. 我非常想要他是我真的父亲
Like he's... 就像他
He's very talented, you know? 你知道 他很有才华
He dances a lot. 他经常跳舞
Woah! 喔噢
Two. 二
Three. 三
Cha. cha, one. 恰恰一
I feel like, could this be my actual Dad? 我觉得 这可能是我真正的爸爸
I don't know, I like Dads. 我不知道 我喜欢爸爸
Dad, are you smoking? 爸爸你在抽烟吗
Huh? 嗯
Do I need to close the door? 门要关起来
It's Okay, you go ahead. 没事没事没事 你继续
Everybody's got their vice. 每个人都有他们的习惯
Let me see it. 给我看一下
I don't want to. 不要啊
I was all about getting the full experience. 我只想获得完整的体验
The good and the bad. 好与不好
But I feel like he went a little bit too far. 但我认为他考虑得太远了
Eating. 吃饭
Clothing. 穿衣
Jobs. 工作
Finding a wife. 包括找老婆
It all depends on this! 都是靠它
It's like, dude! 他就像 兄弟
You're a paid actor. 你只是一个租赁父亲
I invited you into my house. 我邀请你来我的家
You're coming at me kind of strong right now. 你现在对我的要求越来越严厉了
You're handsome and that comes first. 你人长得帅 算第一
But look at this score! 但是这个成绩你看看
Okay, I see. 好的我知道了
Disgraceful! 丢人
I don't think he knows I'm from Detroit. 我不认为他知道我来自底特律
This time it's okay, but pay more attention in future. 这次就算了 自己一定要注意
Thank you. 谢谢理解
Thanks, Dad. 谢谢爸爸
This kid is a smart boy. 那个小孩啊 属于可教之才
If I am talking, he will listen. 我讲什么他还听
If you don’t know how to get on a bike, it's like this. 不会上车的话 使上车
Look straight. 眼光平视
Focus on stability. 重心把稳
Don't lean on either side. 不要两边斜
Check it out. 你看一下啊
Put your helmet on. 帽子戴好了
That's right! 对对对
Don't sway! 不要晃 不要晃
Don't sway! 不要晃
I got it! 我做到了
Papa! I got it! 爸爸 我做到了
I can do it! I can do it! 我会骑自行车了
When we're playing together. 当他玩耍的时候呢
He looks so naive and innocent. 也是一副天真的样子
Do you know where babies come from? 你知不知道孩子是从哪里来的啊
Where do babies come from? 孩子从哪里来的啊
Yeah. 对
The laws of nature state that, 这是自然规律
the female is impregnated. 女的受孕了
Then 10 months later a child is born. 十月怀胎孩子就出生了
I thought it was the poor decisions of two young adults. 我还以为这是两个年轻人的最糟糕决定
He also broke up with my Mom. 他还和我妈妈离婚了
I want to divorce your mother. 我要和你妈妈离婚
You better be prepared. 你要有准备
When I told him that I was going to divorce his mother, 当我和他讲我要和你妈妈离婚的话
He cried. 他哭了
When he caught me smoking, that was pretty cool. 当他发现我抽烟的时候 感觉真的太刺激了
Hey! 诶
No bad habits! 不学好
You think you can smoke cigarettes? 这个烟你能抽吗
Only older people can smoke! 我们年纪大的抽的
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! 不好意思不好意思
Smoking is bad for your health! 你这样抽的话对身体不好
I know, I know. 我知道 我知道了
I've taught you better. 我怎么教你的啊
Give me this. 拿来
Smoking is not good! 烟不是好东西哦
You're not allowed to smoke! 不许抽
So long as Dad is here, 老子在他面前
He must do as I say. 还是有权威的
But, this kid... 所以呢这个小孩
I like him a lot. 我还蛮喜欢的
Woah! 哇喔
Aw fu*k. 噢 我去
I hate baseball, this sucks. 我讨厌棒球
Finished？ 走啦
Honestly? 说真的
Today has been one of the best days of my life. 今天是我人生中最棒的一天
Like, no joke. 就像 老实说吧
I mean, I did get hit in the face with a baseball. 我是指 刚才是被棒球砸到脸
But... 但是
I feel like that's what Dads do, right? 我觉得这就是爸爸的行为 对吧
They just let you know whos boss. 他们只是想让你知道谁是老大
You know, give you a quick one. 你知道 给你一个瞬间
But then they make it up 但后来最后他们会弥补回来
with a nice ride around the carousel. 就像愉快的骑着旋转木马
Aiyo! 哎哟
Dad, I know our time is up. 爸 爸我知道我们的时间已经超过了
But you can have dinner with me if you have time? 但是你有空的话可以和我一起吃个饭吗
Here's the thing. 我跟你讲哦
I really do want to eat with you. 我其实很想跟你一起去吃饭
But we're out of time. 但是这个时间不早了
I've got other stuff to do. 我还有事
Hopefully we will meet again! 以后我们见面再叙
You can give it to me. 你可以给我
Can give it to me? 可以给我
You can give it to me. 你可以给我
Heyyy! 嘿
These years have given you experience and wisdom. 这些年给了你经验和智慧
And it's meant a lot to watch you come this far. 直到现在 这对你来说意味着很多
That's why it brings such happiness, 这就是为什么它会带来这样的快乐
to celebrate your birthday. 来帮你庆祝生日
This special man you are. 你是我生命中最重要的人
Love, Dad. 爱你 爸爸
I'm okay, I'm okay. 我没事 我很好
Everything is amazing! 一切都太美好了
Ladies and gentlemen, 女士们先生们
let's have a huge round of applause for the next comedian. 让我们用热烈的掌声有请下一位喜剧演员
The very funny Adam Hamilton! 非常搞笑的Adam Hamilton
Wooo! 喔哦
Thank you, thank you. 谢谢 谢谢
Uh... 呃
I was adopted. 我是被收养的
Thank you. 谢谢
Uh... 呃
My grandma raised me. 我的外婆收养了我