Oh welcome home
Oh my dumb little dumplings I've missed
your faces Oh father we've missed your
gifts and who is this Oh
dodo showing it provincial roots again
you don't recognize celebrated chef
Chauncey Alliston you told me your
daughters were beautiful but you never
mention the word perfection I've never
seen a creature soon robustly formed I
have a big surprise for you last week
senator Ambrose Burnside died in a freak
moustache fire yeah thank you daddy
that's not the surprise a US Senate seat
has become available in Frederick you
shall fill it how is Frederick qualified
to be a senator he believes rocks are
alive that is ridiculous
some of the older rocks have passed away
how does it feel son you ought to be
appointed the next u.s. senator from the
state of Rhode Island I am deeply
honored and very excited for this
opportunity I only have one question
what is Senate I want the money I want
the fame I want the whole world to know
my name this
I gotta clean I got to feel it I've got
to get it