The best way to reflect on your past. Stick around to the end of this video, as I reveal some
practical tips to help you reflect on your past in a healthier more effective way. Welcome to The SCG
Show! This video is officially brought to you by BetterHelp, but more on them later in this video.
The other day a subscriber emailed me saying the following "I've been spending the last few weeks
reflecting on my past. It's been traumatic and life-changing. I left a long-term relationship
which was toxic. I had to move house twice. I've cut contact with certain friends, it's been emotional
and too much to handle." I personally reflect almost every day, it's 2023 as I record this
and in the past four years alone the followings happened in my personal life = I too have walked
away from a toxic relationship. I walked away from gambling an addiction of 14 years. I lost my dad
tragically at the beginning of the lockdowns. I've moved house to a new area, and live a new lifestyle.
I've lost touch with toxic people, friends and even family members who have all had
negative effects on my life. It's been a hell of a lot and dramatic and traumatic,
it's been a lot of change for me and my family of course, and as someone who's a massive creature
of habit - I'm not one for change normally, but as I do reflect and I encourage my subscriber
and you guys to do the same, the best way to approach it is to ask the following question =
How much have I grown? Am I the same man I was before during and after leaving that
toxic relationship? NO. Am I the same man I was when I was a gambling addict for 14 years? NO.
Am I the same man I was when my dad was alive? Certainly not. Am I the same man who I was when I
was engaged with toxic people and difficult people all the time socially etc? NO. So I've changed and
I have grown as well, and even though I don't know that subscriber personally I told them to do the
same, because you have changed, especially if you have the self-awareness to take time and reflect
which is incredibly empowering. Let's go into more detail about the best way to reflect on your past =
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For the sake of this video when I refer to youth, I'm talking about between the
ages of 10 all the way up to 21, and if you like you can throw in early 20s too, why not!
Youth reflection can be a double-edged sword for most people
it could have been the happiest or saddest time of their lives, or a mixture of both...
but again "how much have I grown?" should be the overarching question when we reflect on our youth.
I learned this in my 30s, if you're still the same person you were when you were way younger,
you haven't evolved, you've not grown, you've stagnated and remained still, and I've seen
that. I know people I went to high school with they might look older and slightly different, but
the way they think operate and live their lives, is like when they were teenagers and it's scary.
Don't get me wrong, I still have some of the same interests and passions I had from my youth and
childhood, I still read and collect comics, I still play video games, I still love animation,
I love sports as much, but those interests passions and hobbies even as a grown man
is what makes me unique, and the person I am deep down. Where am I going with this? Ask yourself the
following questions = Are you still the same person you were when you were a teenager?
Are you still holding on to childish ideals about the real world, relationships and life?
Have you matured at all or do you still see things from a childish vantage?
Have you outgrown certain people? Have you outgrown where you live? Have you outgrown your lifestyle?
We can always be young at heart, and we can have an inner child and needs love and attention...
but without growth, evolution, without harsh lessons, without picking ourselves up again after defeat...
all we're going to do is stagnate forever!
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channel by becoming an official member! The link for memberships is in the description below!
It's very easy to reflect and be riddled with regret. Take this email from another
subscriber as an example= "I spent eight years with the wrong partner, eight years! The best
years of my life, my youth, my best times with a cheating scumbag! What was the benefit? What was
the point? What did I gain from it? Nothing! I regret wasting time with such a person!"
I felt the same as they did for several reasons. I began gambling at the age of 18 in the UK and
I was on and off ever since, and the older I became, the more stressed I was with work, life etc, and of
course the more money I earned as well resulted in more gambling... secret gambling... gambling online
and it was out of control! I regret all those years, all that time, all the money blown down the
drain not to mention the unnecessary suffering as well. Being with the wrong person for five
minutes can feel like five hours... you'll never be good enough for the wrong person as well...
even though it was only a handful of years we were together, I regretted a toxic relationship I had,
and I regretted walking away initially, and foolishly going back as well.
Never make that mistake and learn from my regret. Other mistakes include losing thousands in bad
investments, getting scammed by a friend of mine, pursuing over a hundred ideas that never took off,
never having a backup plan for a business that went wrong, trusting
the wrong people, family as well. I regret so many mistakes that I've made in my life,
but once again in alignment with regret should be that question "how much have I grown?"
Tremendously... in my issues, I'm sober now, I've learned about toxic relationships,
toxic people, I set boundaries now, I've got experience and wisdom from all my mistakes.
Turn those regrets into lessons, because the greatest teacher of them all, are your failures!
Thanks to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video! I've personally used BetterHelp and found it to
be so effective for turning my life around for the better. BetterHelp is therapy online which offers
weekly sessions via phone video and live chat. You get matched with a therapist according to
where you are, what you're looking for and what you need help with, if it's not a great fit you
can switch therapists easily! Therapy is a great way to take care of ourselves mentally just like
we try to do so physically through diet and exercise. Online therapy can teach you valuable
life coping skills and support you amazingly when tough times occur. Click the link below or
visit betterhelp.com/scgshow for 10% off your first month of online therapy today.
Go ahead and take that very first step to turning your life around with BetterHelp! This entire video
was inspired by a subscriber reflecting on a failed toxic relationship. Relationships
can make or break people. I know people who are divorced and single by their own choice, and are
still bitter resentful and miserable about their exes who they no longer see or no longer talk to
or don't have any association with at all. It's a sad way to live because despite all the potential growth,
and personal transformation for the better, they still wish to live in misery and suffer.
I was a very different man when I entered that toxic relationship with a narcissist. I was
superficial, besotted by image, the finer things in life, showing off on social media. I was immature, I
had no idea about relationships and what they truly meant, the sacrifices etc, it was clearly
naive. I had no idea about toxic people, as I persisted in a relationship with a toxic person. I
was foolish, I arrogantly assumed that I knew what I was doing, and that I could handle the storm that
was that relationship. Then eventually and finally the penny dropped, I saw the light, I saw there was
no improving or changing the situation. I had no choice but to walk away, to stay away forever. Let's
talk about the growth. My personal growth when it comes to dating and relationships has been amazing,
my standards have changed, my value and worth has improved, I'm wiser or knowledgeable and self-aware.
It's honestly no surprise that currently I've attracted and maintained a happy healthy
relationship, the best I've ever had! Therapy has helped as well, let's not forget that.
You'll never be good enough for the wrong person, and the sooner you realize that
and find the right person, the faster you'll grow, which is what reflection is all about!
Funnily enough when I was making drastic and important changes in the past to correct and
rectify wrongdoings and mistakes, I did so with the following motivation = to rewrite my future!
I remember when I made a solemn vow to remain clean and sober and thinking the following
"I know what life is like as a gambling addict, miserable and awful.
I wonder what life would be like being clean and sober?" Sobriety has been amazing!
I remember walking away from a toxic relationship. "I know what life is like dating a toxic person
miserable and awful. I wonder what life's like dating someone good, genuine, who makes me happy?"
It is literally like the complete opposite with the right person! The point here is the
past is written, it is what it is sadly, it's done it's over, it's now history, your history... but the
future, even tomorrow that is yet to be written and is unpredictable, in a good way and things always
seem to work out in the end for the better! So if you reflect on the past and it sends a shiver down
your spine, that's normal and understand what you need to do and how much you need to grow
to never allow history to repeat itself again, especially when it was negative and destructive!