- [Grapefruit] Ahoy-hoy, fruit-lovers.
It is I, Grapefruit.
- [Little Apple] And me, Little Apple.
Today, the "Try Not to Cry Challenge"
is back by popular demand!
- Gonna warn ya right now, my little bro,
I prepared extensively for this.
- Ha!
Is that right?
- Oh, that's right.
I've refrained from drinking water
for the last three days.
Tears will not form easily
in this magnificent, dehydrated body of mine.
Plus, I'm super tough and I never cry at everything.
So, feel free to throw the towel in now
and save yourself the embarrassment.
- Oh, I wouldn't be so sure, Grapefruit!
I brought a secret weapon with me,
three of them, actually,
one for each round!
- Ah, thanks for reminding me.
Here's how it's gonna go down, fruit-lovers;
today's "Try Not to Cry Challenge" has three rounds.
Every round will get one chance
to make the other person cry.
Winner gets points, loser gets remembered as a crybaby.
- You ready to do this?
- Of course!
I'm always ready to win! (chuckles)
For round one, I have prepared
a dramatic reading of the famously sad song,
"Cat's in the Cradle".
A-hem, a child arrived just the other day.
He came into the world the usual way-
- Well, that's nice and all, Grapefruit,
but see if you can watch this without crying!
(melancholy music)
[Chorus]- Baby kittens, without mommies.
- Oh, dear.
[Narrator]- Every day you don't adopt a kitten,
is another day without a mommy for a kitten like this.
And this.
- How you holding up over there?
(struggling)
- You, ah, you telling me these kittens don't have homes?
[Narrator]- We even have this baby duck,
who thinks he's a kitten.
- Okay, turn it off!
- Why?
- Because if you don't, I'm gonna-
(cries loudly)
- All right! Round one goes to Little Apple!
- Stop gloating and hand me the tissues already!
- You ready for round two?
(sniffs)
- I-I was born ready for round two.
I'm bringing the fire this round,
so brace your face to be smeared with tears!
(laughing)
You see this?
- Yeah, looks like a white speck.
- This is my friend, is us.
It is a wide angle of Earth floating in
the emptiness of space.
Everyone you ever known is contained inside this
little speck.
Does it make you feel insignificant?
Alone?
Does it make you weep to know how pitifully small we are
compared to the vastness of-
- Yeah, here's that same commercial again.
[Chorus]- Baby kittens, without mommies.
- What the?
I-that's not fair to bring the-
(loud weeping)
- All right!
Round two goes to the little guy!
- Look at the baby duck!
He's thinks he's a kitten!
He's such a stupid little baby duck.
(crying)
- Tissue?
- Thank you!
- Should we just call it?
I'm up two rounds to zero.
No way can you win this one.
- Ah, what if we make it interesting?
- I'm listening?
- Round three is now worth triple points.
- Okay, I'm game.
- As am I, for I have brought my viola.
Behold the most tear-inducing rendition of
Greensleeves you've ever laid your
non-existent ears upon.
- Yeah, I just brought this same commercial again.
[Chorus]- Baby kittens-
(violent crying)
(victory sound effect)
- Tissue?
- No, hand me the phone!
Hello, Kitten Adoption Agency?
I'll take em'!
I'll take em' all!
Yes, even the baby duck!
Especially the baby duck!
(crying)
- Well I guess I won the try not to cry challenge!
But either way, you won too!
- That's true.
Today Grapefruit discovered his purpose in life.
To be a mother.
(meowing and quaking)
That's it, come here my children!
Come to me!
Oh, I'm so happy!
(crying)
- Oh, wow!
I just remembered something!
- What's that?
- I'm allergic to cat dander!
- You're allergic to kittens?
- I am!
(both crying)
We should call our moms!
- Mom!
I love you so much!
(crying)
(upbeat music)