- In this video, I'm gonna show you
the five most powerful ways to create polarity
in order to attract love.
Think of it like a magnet.
If you have a magnet, it is going to attract,
but also repel based on its polarity.
If you have a positive and a positive
and you put them together, guess what's gonna happen?
They're going to repel each other.
Same with a negative and negative.
But when you have a positive and a negative,
they clink right like this.
The key to attracting love
is embodying your own sense of polarity,
which really is the authenticity of who you really are,
letting go of what you are not
so that you can attract love easier than ever.
These are things that completely transformed my own life.
I've seen it change so many people's lives
once they got a grip of this,
and I'm gonna show you step-by-step what to do
in this video.
(light music)
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron
and I help people expand their consciousness.
Now, in this video, I'm gonna be sharing with you
those five polarity secrets.
These are things that completely change
your own energy dynamic
and help you to attract more of that which you want.
Now think of it like this.
I get people that sometimes reach out to me and say,
"I am someone that is attracting a lot of feminine men.
"I want to attract more masculine men.
"Why am I attracting this?"
Or men that say,
"Oh, I want to attract someone's very feminine"
Or vice versa, we don't have to get too caught up
with the whole gender rules here.
It can work the same way for same sex relationships,
because there's still polarity in same-sex relationships
or whatever your cup of tea is.
But in general, think of this
in the form of masculine and feminine
in the form of energy dynamics, not so much just gender.
But when we think of feminine, feminine is more flowy.
Feminine is a little bit more, it's more emotional.
It is sometimes a little bit more chaotic
because it's not following a specific structure.
The feminine needs to feel safe to really express itself.
On the other hand, we have that of the masculine.
The masculine is very directive.
It leads.
It thinks more in the sense of logic
and it has a more penetrative type energy,
whereas the feminine is more flowy.
Now, the masculine needs to feel
that of appreciated, acknowledged,
whereas the feminine needs to feel safe.
So these are two different aspects of that,
and we all have both masculine and feminine energy.
Now, when I was going through my own initiation process,
I guess you could say, about a year ago,
I started going through an initiation process
where I was letting go
of a lot of the old patterns of myself,
and one of the things that really was something
that was a block to me being in my own masculine frame
was I had this people pleaser mentality
and this kind of nice guy mentality that I got from my dad.
My dad is a traditional nice guy.
And what would happen is I would try,
or my intention was to attract love,
but I was repelling it because of my own energy.
And what I had to learn is, especially for the masculine,
it's important to lead.
The masculine, it's important to be in your own frame.
And for me, what that meant is I had to become aware
of the inauthenticity of the people pleaser dynamic,
and that of the nice guy dynamic,
which is something that a lot of people deal with
because people are searching for other people's validation.
So this meant for me, what I had to do
is I had to confront my childhood abandonment wound.
If you are afraid of getting rejected by other people,
you're not gonna be the full sense inside your own polarity,
because you're afraid of what other people
will think about you.
So the first polarity key and secret to this
is understanding integrity.
Integrity.
integrity is you being consistent to your word
and you being the most authentic you.
And in order for you to do that,
what I found is that I had to confront my abandonment wound
where I felt emotionally abandoned as a kid,
and because of that,
I thought there was something wrong with me.
I thought that I had to be different than I was
in order for me to gain people's love,
respect, and approval.
And therefore I would change my sense of gravity
when I was around women.
I would try to fix them.
I would try to make them feel better by changing them,
versus holding the masculine frame.
Being centered, leading.
It's almost like, it was like I was trying to fix
someone's emotions to help them feel better,
when all they needed me to do was to hold space
and to be centered in myself, that's it.
I would listen, understand and seek to understand,
and then just be firm
and then they'd be like, "Oh, I can relax now."
Instead of me trying to juggle things around.
But that fix it mentality, that comes from I,
a belief that I'm not worthy and that if I fix them,
then I can get them to love me.
This gets down to the childhood wounding.
And when I changed that, so much in my life began to change.
I had to confront this a lot over the last year, actually.
With what I had to do is I had to focus on
really being the most integrity person,
version of myself that's in integrity
and having hard conversations going into tension.
There are times that tension creates that of polarity,
most of the time.
I have friends that I used to have a certain dynamic with
and I had to change that dynamic
because I realized that I was abandoning myself
to make others happy.
That's what a lot of times we do
with the people-pleaser, nice guy dynamic.
It could be for both men and women, by the way,
masculine or feminine.
But what we do is we abandon ourselves to make other happy,
and the key to this is to stop abandoning the self
and to start being in integrity with your word.
One thing I'm very strong on is I stay consistent
to what I say I'm gonna do.
It's one thing I do.
It is a trigger for me
if somebody says they're gonna do something
and they don't do it.
"It's my old childhood wounding, I got to figure this out.
"If I can fix them and get them to get them
"to be in integrity to their word, maybe that I'm worthy."
But a lot of this is me becoming aware
of that abandonment wound and changing that.
So one of the best things you can do
for your own sense of polarity
is understand integrity with yourself.
Whether you're masculine or feminine, doesn't matter,
but being in integrity with yourself
and letting go of layers of inauthenticity.
Realize that when you let go of caring
what other people think,
and you start being the real you,
what'll happen is there will be people
that won't like you as much
because you're being the real you,
but there'll be even more people that like you,
because you are actually being authentic.
Sometimes people may see me
and they may not like exactly what I'm saying,
it might trigger them, but they're like,
"You know what?
"At least he believes in what he's saying,
"at least he's being authentic."
So that's something to think about.
It's good actually as well.
Polarity is good because you're putting the dating process
and making it easier for you.
Instead of going through a whole bunch of layers of BS
for months and months and months, you're like,
"This is the real me."
Being polarizing is good, even in branding.
When I look at other brands,
there's a reason that there's brands
that intentionally polarize that of their audience,
because it gives, it gives more,
you understand the values that they stand for.
So don't be afraid to be that version of you.
Now, the second thing that is a vulnerable,
I almost said it.
The second thing that is a polarity secret
is something that's completely transformed my own life,
and that's understanding the power of vulnerability.
Now think about it.
Two people are starting to date
and one is maybe afraid to say, "Hey, I'm attracted to you"
or "I want to lead, somehow leading".
Or maybe it's friends that have been together awhile,
or friends for awhile, but is afraid to,
one is afraid to say that they have feelings for the other.
That happens also, kind of connected to the people pleaser,
nice guy abandonment thing,
but vulnerability, showing who you really are,
putting yourself out there,
for both the masculine or feminine,
is something that is very attractive
and it does create polarity.
It is expressing the real you.
And when you put yourself out there to, quote unquote,
"where you could get rejected",
you'll find a lot of times you either don't
or once again, you saved yourself time,
because then you're not going through a whole bunch of BS
of waiting around.
But for me, the most vulnerable conversations I've had,
or when I've expressed things that I kind of bottled up,
because when I was a kid,
if I would express how I really felt,
it either was discounted completely, doesn't matter,
or I got shamed for it.
So then I'd be in a relationship
and I'll be afraid to share what I really think
and I'm holding it back,
and then the feminine can feel that.
It feels like I'm deceiving
or I'm not putting everything on the table
or I'm not being authentic, and then it becomes a thing.
So the thing that I've learned
is the more vulnerable I am in my relationships,
and this means having those hard conversations sometimes.
I've had, over this last month,
I've had some conversations with some of my best friends
where I've said, "You know what?
"This, this and this is something
"that I didn't voice back in the day,
"and this is how I really feel."
And it felt so empowering.
I literally felt like I was taking back
some of my energy cords.
And, in a way, that's what it,
that's what I think was, in a way, happening,
is I was reestablishing a new level of me.
And guess what?
I get more respect now because of it,
because I respect myself.
So polarity, remember,
is when you're being in your own authentic frame,
and one of the things that you must do
to really create the sense of polarity,
it's healing those childhood wounds around worthiness,
around abandonment, around trusting the Universe,
whether you can trust or not.
Sometimes if you had a parent that cheated on the other,
what you do is you may say, "This isn't safe."
You may activate your masculine or feminine side
in order to, to be as kind of a buffer.
And one of the best ways you can do that,
if you haven't already,
we've had over 4,000 people go through this,
is the 21 day magnetic love challenge,
which is step-by-step how to create within yourself
a level of self-love that you emanate out,
so that in 21 days, you're a new, higher vibrational
loving version of yourself.
So if you want to attract love or deepen your relationship,
go to aarondoughty.com/love or click the link below.
But that's where we go through a process where we hold,
you're held accountable for letting go and removing blocks.
It is completely transformative.
It's 21 days in a row, an hour long workshop a day.
You watch one a day.
You go, you have lifetime access when you get it,
but you can click below if you want to check that out.
But those are the two most important things,
is healing your childhood wounding, your abandonment wound
and understanding vulnerability
and how vulnerability is the cure to shame.
If you feel like you're broken, then what happens,
that's what shame is.
Shame says, "There's something wrong with me."
Then what happens is you're afraid to actually be
and express the real you, because you're gonna get rejected.
And the thing, for me, was when I started
to express this stuff, it started to,
I started to realize there's nothing, I'm not broken.
And it also leads me to the third one,
which is creating boundaries.
Now, especially for the masculine,
I found this to be very powerful,
where the feminine will ask me something
and part of that is helping the feminine feel safe
by creating a container in the masculine frame,
in the masculine energy.
And for me, that means sometimes I set boundaries.
I'm like, "No, this is not what we're gonna do"
or "This is we're gonna do."
Not in a narcissistic way, like I'm telling you what to do,
but leading, leading.
"No, this is what we need to go do right now."
It's very powerful, but it's changed everything.
A lot of me, because of the nice guy people pleaser thing,
was afraid to lead back in the day.
And now that I'm not afraid of it, it feels natural.
You may think and you may tell yourself a story that,
"Oh, I've always been more feminine or masculine
"and I want to be the other", something like that.
That's just a story.
It's a pattern that is a survival mechanism
that's been on autopilot, that's it.
But the third key to creating polarity
is sense of boundaries.
Saying no.
When you say no to something,
you're saying yes to something else.
And what saying no does, by the way,
is that communicates value.
I remember when I've had times
where friends want me to go do things
and I have trouble saying no,
and what ends up happening is by saying no
and abandoning myself,
it's communicating that I feel obligated.
I feel like I have to do that.
By saying no, what I end up doing is communicating
that I'm not going to abandon myself.
And the thing with this, as well,
is, say no when it's authentic for you to say no.
When you really have something else to do,
or you really feel like you'd have to give up
your own sense of self to make others happy.
You realize the motivation behind what you're doing.
But even when I was becoming more successful
back in the day, I had to start saying no
to hanging out with friends and doing certain things
when I was starting to say yes
to me making daily videos on YouTube,
and that would create some polarity, but guess what?
That's good.
And I noticed that even
the more you share your own personality unapologetically,
the more you're gonna create polarity
because that's the real you.
So this is about understanding
that boundaries is your safe container that you're creating.
That changes everything.
Now, the fourth thing for creating polarity
that also changes everything is understanding
and identifying your own energy
within the context of your day.
Now, for example, if you find that you,
maybe you're a woman that is feeling like you have to act,
you have to activate a lot of your masculine energy
so that you can go to your job,
so that you grow your business or whatever it is.
At the end of your day, when you're coming home,
it is very good for you to balance that out with a bath,
going for a walk, being in nature,
doing something that's more yin.
And what you'll find is that when you do that,
you create and you allow yourself to more so
sink into your feminine.
So for me, in my own daily activities,
what I realized is that we both have masculine
and feminine energies, but it's really about getting inside
and being aware of your own energy
to activate it and set that intention to activate it.
For me, if I want to activate masculine energy,
I go work out, I'll go play sports.
I'll go do something that helps me to activate
that penetrative focused mentality that is natural for me,
but that's the key.
And sometimes I do need to soften that up though,
because I become too rigid,
especially with my diet and stuff.
I'll be counting calories
and doing all this structured, analytical things.
It's like, "Wait, what if I could just let go,
"be in nature, go on the boat here in Austin"
or something like that.
It changes everything when you start to realize
your own energy and that you can activate it with intention,
you can activate it with phases of your day even.
And that's something that changes a lot
because what you do every single day compounds over time.
So just being aware of your own polarity
is something that's very powerful
because as you become aware of it,
that's when you can then change it.
And the fifth and final, probably the most powerful way
for you to create polarity within yourself
is understanding being in your own body.
This is something that I call the frame technique.
The frame technique is one of the most powerful
energy exercises I've ever done.
It's where you get inside of your own body,
and you feel the separation between you and a candle,
you and the walls, you and other people,
and you feeling the separation will help you feel safe
in your body.
When you start to feel safe in your body, as the feminine,
you're gonna feel more feminine and flowy.
When you start feeling safe in your body, as the masculine,
you're naturally gonna start leading.
These are things that changed everything for me.
When I started to do this, I thought it was too simple.
I thought there's no way that this is gonna be something
that really transforms my life, but guess what?
It did.
So one thing you could do is,
if you get the 21 day magnetic love challenge,
we teach the frame technique in there
and it shows you step-by-step
how to completely transform your life.
So like this video if you liked it.
If you want more short videos that are kind of to the point,
even though it probably wasn't a short video,
go ahead and like, and comment below.
And other than that, see you guys in the next one.
Peace, much love and namaste.