Gentlemens Game here.
Today, I'm gonna tell you 3 THINGS TO NEVER DO ON A DATE..
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These 3 dating no-no's seem very obvious to me now, but that wasn't always the case.
In fact I repeatedly made these dumb mistakes when I was younger, so its only through hard
experience that I learned these lessons.
So if you're watching this and you have less dating experience, this is the perfect video
for you.
Number 1: Overdosing On Compliments.
So, I remember the summer before going to college, I was tryna to pursue this girl,
Karen.
I had a crush on her from high school, and it turns out we were going to the same college.
So I ask her out on a date, she says yes, and I bring her to Central Park.
Keep in mind that I REALLY liked this girl, her cute face, slim figure, bubbly personality,
everything.
So, in my youthful, naive, stupid mindset, I felt the need to tell her all this.
While she was looking at the rock formations, I'd be looking at her, and tell her something
like “Wow Karen, your hair is so pretty.
It shines so nice in the light”.
The first time I do this I remember her smiling and saying, “thanks!”
But then 2 minutes later I say something else like “Oh wow Karen, your smile is so adorable.
You're so cute when you smile”.
And then she still smiles, but a bit less and say “Uh...thanks..”
And then 5 minutes AFTER THAT, i'd say something like “Wow Karen, your hands look like they're
so soft.
You definitely use lotion like everyday” And at this point – her face started to
scowl and I could tell that she was starting to think my behavior was weird.
I compliment her AGAIN 10 minutes after that and then I was really tell that her attraction
level for me was dropping, but I didn't understand why.
Long story short – let's just say she didn't give me a second date after that.
Looking back on that experience, it's easy to see now why she found my behavior to be
so unattractive.
When you compliment a girl over and over again, it shows weakness in a few ways.
First, it shows her that all your attention is on her EXTERNAL, Superficial looks, rather
than being PRESNT in the moment and actually listening to WHAT she's saying.
When a girl can' t feel your presence, she will often immediately start losing attraction
for you.
Another way overdoing compliments shows weakness is that you're essentially putting her on
pedastal, like she's some divine heavenly angel who can't do wrong.
Something you have to realize is that no matter how attractive you find her, she's just a
person at the end of the day, with flaws, insecurities, fears and emotional baggage.
There's a phrase I heard somewhere... if you put a girl on a pedestal, then she'll look
DOWN on you from it.
So keep that in mind the next time you overly compliment a girl.
Number 2: SPOILING HER.
So, I have a friend who's EXTREMELY successful.
He was formerly an investment banker, who later on decided to start his own software
company, which ended up doing extremely well.
Needless to say, he has A LOT of money.
And like most guys who like to flaunt their money, he doesn't have much trouble getting
dates.
But, he hasn't exactly had the best luck at finding a girl that genuinely loves him for
him, not just for his money, a girl he can really see himself marrying.
Whenever I get a chance to catch up with him over drinks, he'll tell me stories about his
love life.
And after hearing a few, I start to understand his exact problem.
A typical story will go something like: “So I met this super cute girl off a dating app.
I wanted her to know how much of a boss I am, so I picked her up in my Bentley.
Then I took her to the nicest seafood restaurant downtown, where we had oysters topped with
caviar, and then enjoyed a rare vintage wine.
Then, I flew her in my helicopter to see the skyline, and then finally I drove her back
home in my Audi”
“Wow Mark, looks like you spent a lot of money on her the first date.
You sure that's a good idea taking her out to all these extravagant places on the first
date?”
I'd ask.
“Of course it's a good idea!
Girls are always so impressed when I spoil them right on the first date.
That's why they keep wanting to see me.. although for some reason a lot of them start getting
angry or bitchy at me the moment I stop spoiling them..”
my friend responds.
“ Weren't you complaining before about how things never seem to work out long term with
a girl?”
I probe again.
“Yeah well, it's weird.
Almost every girl I date starts getting really entitled to me constantly spoiling them, and
that's when the arguments start to happen.”
The situation my friend is describing is pretty much the result of one of the most common
mistakes that successful guys make: taking her to extravagant places right on the first
date, or spoiling her too much.
These guys think that flaunting their money is the best way to get girls.
But the problem however, is you're spending thousands of dollars on gifts for her when
she hardly knows you.
When you start spoiling her like this RIGHT on the first date, you're pretty much telling
her that this is all you have to offer her: your money.
It tells her that you're needy, that you're trying to bribe her with your money.
And by spoiling her so much on the first date like this, she'll come to EXPECT all that
treatment all of the time.
And if one day you fail to meet the expectations you set for yourself, she'll hold that against
you.
Look, im not saying you should be a cheap charlie with a girl you're taking out.
But if its the first date, take her somewhere quiet, intimate and inexpensive.
Just focus on having a fun time and keeping it lighthearted and casual.
Wait at least a few months to pass before starting to be really generous with your money.
Until she's completely in love with you, don't buy her anything.
Because it's NOT going to make her want you more.
Number 3: Talking About Yourself.
One of my recent videos talked about a common mistake that guys make with girls, which is
SPOILING her movie and revealing too much about everything you have planned for her.
I wanna build onto that idea here.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make on the first date is to talk TOO Much about yourself.
It's almost scientifically proven that having a bit of mystery to your personality makes
you more attractive to women.
When guys yap on and on about themselves and their achievements, 2 things happens.
Number 1, you're gonna come across as extremely conceited to her, someone who lacks humility.
A guy who is truly confident in himself doesn't feel the need to brag about his achievements,
so talking too much about yourself can also make you look narcissistic and insecure.
Number 2, when you talk too much about yourself she'll feel like she already knows everything
about you, and will quickly get bored of you.
Remember, girls want to feel like they're unraveling a mystery over a period of time,
so if she already knows everything there is to know about you, it's gonna be a huge turnoff.
As a general rule of thumb, you should be letting her do about 80 to 90% of the talking.
When she's doing most of the talking, it'll make her feel more connected to you, and She'll
also think that you're a good listener, something that all girls find attractive.
Instead of talking about yourself, ask her questions, and tease her on whatever she answers
with.
This has always been a good way for me to keep a playful, fun yet also flirty vibe on
first dates.
So to summarize, 3 things to NEVER do on a first date are Overdosing on Compliments,
Spoiling her right off the bat before getting to know her, and talking too much about yourself.
Hopefully you guys never make these mistakes now that you're aware of them.
If you learned something today, make sure to like and subscribe for more videos.
I have another one coming out next week, so make sure to check that out, and always, peace.