Napoleon Dynamite was one of the most unlikely hits of 2004… or any other year, really.
Directed by 25-year-old Jared Hess and starring a cast of mostly unknowns, the quirky indie
comedy was difficult to categorize, and against all odds, it grossed $44 million against a
$400,000 budget.
So, why won't Hollywood make a Napoleon Dynamite sequel?
Too busy hunting wolverines
Napoleon Dynamite led to a brief but fruitful period for star Jon Heder.
He starred in a string of comedies that included Just Like Heaven, The Benchwarmers, and Blades
of Glory.
Heder has since switched gears, putting his distinctive cadence to use as a voice actor.
"Hello."
He's racked up more than a dozen credits for work on animated movies, TV cartoons, and
video games.
Also a major time-suck for Heder: the man has a whole mess of kids.
And while director Jared Hess can't seem to find much support for his own films, he's
still a director in demand for other folks' projects.
He's helmed a few movies written by people other than himself or his wife, like the 2016
comedy Masterminds, and is slated to direct the next, long-awaited entry in Jackie Chan's
comedic Shanghai Trilogy.
Studios only want directors with skills
Even still, Jared and Jerusha Hess have continued to make one-of-a-kind movies in their own
style and flavor.
But they just don't put butts in seats.
Among their efforts: the luchador comedy Nacho Libre, the fantasy fiction send-up Gentlemen
Broncos, and the caper comedy Don Verdean.
The directors have a unique vision, but they've had a hard time attracting sizable audiences.
Case in point: Gentlemen Broncos grossed just $113,000, which is about three times as much
as Don Verdean pulled in.
And that's despite both films having the comedy star power of fan favorites Sam Rockwell and
Jemaine Clement.
The director doesn't flippin' feel like it
Napoleon Dynamite is a classic example of lightning in a bottle, which nobody understands
better than Jared Hess, so he doesn't even really want to try making a sequel.
In 2010, he told Star Pulse that because the movie was conceived as a one-time deal, a
sequel wouldn't work, saying,
"When sequels are an afterthought, they usually end up being bad, but when they were originally
intended to have multiple films made up of the same story, I think it works."
In other words,
"What are you going to do today, Napoleon?"
"Whatever I feel like I wanna do GOSH!"
The cartoon bombed
Eight years after its auspicious big-screen debut, Napoleon Dynamite did get a sequel
of sorts: an animated TV series.
Six episodes ran on Fox in the spring of 2012, and the entire main cast reprised their original
roles.
The show finished the 2011-12 season at #103 in the ratings…after which it was quietly
canceled.
"Dang it!
You guys are idiots!"
Napoleon lives on
Audiences were able to pay another unofficial visit to Napoleon Dynamite's universe courtesy
of an ad campaign that aired shortly after the film's theatrical run.
"In days of yore, the Utah state fair didn't have sweet rides, like the Scrambler, Rock-o
Plane, The Octopus…"
Jon Heder and Efren Ramirez reprised their characters a few more times in a series of
TV spots promoting the 2005 Utah State Fair.
Also making a cameo?
Delicious tots.
"That Kangaroo looks pretty good."
"It's a Totzilla, and it should look good, I baked my butt off."
Never has a fictional character loved the potato nuggets as much as Napoleon.
The movie is so connected with tater tots that in 2016, Burger King recruited Heder
and Ramirez to star in a commercial for the chain's latest offering, Cheesy Tots.
It's too late
Napoleon Dynamite is pretty much a high school movie, and following the film's characters
as they all tackle college and marriage just doesn't seem like it would be a very rewarding
project.
And if all of the characters are all still somehow living in the same small town that
never escaped the late '80s, wandering ever-closer to death, well, the audience has already seen
how they behave in that environment.
There's just not a lot more to say, and watching Napoleon slowly lose his trademark cloud of
hair to old age just seems depressing.
At least we'll always have the original.
"Always and forever.
Always and forever..."
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