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How do you think your friends would describe you?
Are you always there for them when they need you?
Sometimes, it can be hard to maintain
a good friendship with people.
You may not even realize
that you're hurting the people you love until it's too late.
So here is seven warning signs
that you may be becoming a toxic friend to others.
Number one, you're needy.
Are you over-reliant on your friend,
calling them at the first sight of trouble?
Do you need them to reaffirm your self esteem
every time you feel down about yourself?
While friends should be supportive of each other,
there should also be some give and take
in your relationship.
You may be turning into a toxic friend
if you keep on demanding
and taking more of your friendship than you give.
Number two, you're controlling.
Do you always want to know what your friends are up to?
Or do you sometimes tell your friends what to do
or who they spend their time with?
A way you may be hurting your friends
is by too controlling of them.
Remember that they are their own person.
They can make their own decisions.
Even if what you do comes from a place of insecurity or fear
that they will replace you with someone else,
trying to control your friends
may turn your friendship into a toxic one.
Number three, you're inconsiderate.
Do you always make your friends give in to what you want
or get upset if you don't get your way?
If you only care about your wants and needs,
and insist on doing things your way,
even at the expense of your friends,
then you're being inconsiderate about their feelings.
Healthy friendships are all about compromise
and mutual agreement,
so you may be turning into a toxic friend
if you constantly ignore your friends to get your way.
Number four, you give unsolicited advice.
Do you give your friends advice
even if they never asked for it?
A study by Meyers in 2017
shows that many who give unsolicited advice
may do so because it gives them a sense of control
and superiority amongst their peers.
Doing so may also make you seem
self-righteous and judgmental.
Instead of advice,
your friend may just want you to lend them an ear
and show them some sympathy.
Number five, you act critical of them.
Do you always point out your friend's insecurities
or floss to them?
While you may say that it comes from a place of love,
being overly harsh and critical
can be doing more damage than good to your friendship.
You may end up making them feel worse about their failures
and hurt their self esteem.
Because of this,
your friendship may take a turn for the worse.
Number six, you talk more about yourself than them.
Are you usually the one who does most of the talking?
Do you interrupt your friend
and steer the topic back to you?
Even if it's not your intention,
this kind of behavior
can show that you care more about yourself
than you do about your friend.
Healthy relationships involve taking turns
to talk and listen.
When you fail to strike a good balance in your friendship
and you take more than you give,
it may be a sign
that your friendship is turning into a toxic one.
Number seven, you're not happy for their success.
Do you feel bitter or insecure
when your friend accomplishes something?
Although it's normal to feel jealous of others
from time to time,
it's never good to be so envious of your friends,
that you can't celebrate their success.
Instead of rooting for them and cheering them on,
you find yourself competing against them
and secretly hoping that they'd fail,
and that is a sign of a toxic friendship.
Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?
Are you worried you may be turning into a toxic friend?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you answered yes, don't worry,
it's not too late yet.
It's good that you're trying to be more self-aware
about your own faults,
and the fact that you were honest enough with yourself
to admit that you're being a bad friend
shows a willingness to grow and change for the better.
Though this kind of positive change doesn't come easy,
you've already taken a big first step
in acknowledging your mistakes
and trying to be a better person.
If you find this video helpful,
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with those who might benefit from it.
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Thanks for watching and see you in our next video.
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