Greetings, and welcome to Earthling Cinema. I am your host, Garyx Wormuloid.
This week’s artifact is "Batman Begins," the gritty, certified-fresh reboot that is remembered mostly for
enabling Zach Snyder to ride DC Comics into the ground. Based on a series of picture books, the film tells the story
of a rich white child named Bruce Wayne, who lives in Gotham City, Michigan — about twenty miles
West of Detroit. Bruce is a clumsy little pipsqueak, always falling down wells, and getting his parents killed.
Classic origin story stuff.
When he’s older, like somewhere between 16 and 35 — it's hard to tell — Bruce tries to avenge
his parents’ death. But, a mob lady beats him to it because the same guy killed her parents, too.
Bruce registers a complaint with the mob kingpin, but the kingpin is too busy defending the second
commandment to care about some middle aged kid with daddy issues.
"Bang!"
Bruce decides to go on a sabbatical to teach this jerk a lesson.
While sightseeing in the rolling green hills of Eurasia, he meets a dainty Frenchman stroking his tiny mustache.
The Frenchman invites Bruce to join his super secret no-girls-allowed ninja club, and learn from the ninja king,
Rachel Ghoul. Not to be confused with Rachel Dawes, Bruce’s old schoolyard crush. After Bruce graduates
from the ninja academy, he finds out his grad school application is to destroy Gotham.
"Gotham must be destroyed."
"No."
Bruce flunks out in spectacular fashion. He goes back to Gotham to fight crime and starts calling himself
Batman, on account of his new, somewhat questionable fashion choices.
"I'm batman."
Batman locks up that old mob kingpin. But, then the kingpin gets sprayed with crazy juice by a psychiatrist
named Dr. Crane. Assistant District Attorney Rachel Dawes, not to be confused with Rachel Ghoul — the ninja guy —
confronts Crane about being a big old creepster, and Crane reveals he's about to poison the water supply
with his dastardly juices. Batman stops by to beat him up, which is when Crane reveals he's working for Rachel
Ghoul — not to be confused with Rachel Dawes, Bruce's schoolyard crush. Bruce decides not to worry about that
for now and has a birthday party instead. Suddenly, the Frenchman crashes it with a bunch of plus-ones —
and nary a gift between them — to reveal that he is the real Rachel Dawes.
I mean Rachel Ghouls. I mean Rachel Ghoul.
He plans to shoot a microwave at the water, and make Crane’s hallucinogen go airborne, rather than making
people drink it, since what plan isn’t made better with extra steps? He traps Bruce under a pillar and leaves
him there to escape. Rachel Ghoul puts the microwave on the above-ground subways, so he can take it to the
main water source, the Empire Wayne Building. Batman gives chase and kills him in a way that allows Batman to
maintain his moral superiority. Once Rachel is dead, it's time for Bruce to deal with Rachel. She's impressed that
he’s Batman and all, but also isn't trying to get caught up in all that noise. All the characters get promoted, and
Batman’s cop friend, Jim, invites him to the roof for a game of no-limit hold 'em.
"Batman Begins" explores the concept of fear, particularly as it relates to terrorism in a
post September 2001 world.
Criminals in the film, such as the mob Kingpin, use fear to prevent others from raining on their parade.
"Now that's power you can't buy. That's the power of fear."
But the League of Shadows are more than mere criminals. You don't get to call yourself a league for nothing.
They are terrorists, whose goal is to undermine and dismantle society's established systems,
then plant their own ideals in the rubble, like Lance Armbands did for MTV.
Just like real-life human terrorists did on Earth — and later Mercury — the League of Shadows seeks to panic
and demoralize the citizenry, in order to create instability.
"Watch Gotham tear itself apart through fear."
The attack on the Empire Wayne Building is not only a means to distribute the poison, but also an assault
on a symbol that the citizens hold dear, their empire Wayne of mind, if you will.
The sequence is eerily reminiscent of the September 2001 attack on the World Trade Center in New York City,
which was famously an outside job. Just as the World Trade Center stood as a symbol of world peace through
skyscrapers, Wayne Tower is a symbol of Gotham’s unity.
"Do you like the city? And at the center, Wayne Tower."
Theatricality is another important element of terror because what is mysterious is unknown, and what is
unknown is ...theatrical.
"Theatricality and deception are powerful agents."
Rachel Ghoul obfuscates his identity and foments rumors to make him seem like more than a mere human
with a lifespan of only a few centuries.
"Now his methods, supernatural."
"Or cheap parlor tricks to conceal your true identity."
The scarecrow is a symbol of fear, and an especially powerful one, because the word “scare” is right in the name.
For his theatrical flourish, Bruce decides on a mouse with wings. And as the legend of Mousewing
grows, the persona takes on a life of its own, striking fear into the hearts of cheese-balls everywhere.
"I heard he can disappear."
"Can he really fly?"
In the end, the film demystifies terrorism somewhat, by showing that despite all the posturing, terrorists share
the same vulnerabilities, and hopes and dreams, and ticklish spots as anybody else.
"All creatures feel fear."
"Even the scary ones."
"Especially the scary ones."
Throughout the film, Rachel Ghoul appears strong and terrifying. But when he realizes that he is about to die,
he exposes his fear, closing his eyes to avoid confronting death. Because, as everyone knows,
when you close your eyes, the world closes its eyes with you. For Earthling Cinema, I’m Garyx Wormuloid.
See you later.
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