so one of the most frequently asked questions that I get from people is do
you do NoFAP fat how's your NONUT November going and I've made several
videos on NoFap the first one was in 2013 that's when I first started
experimenting with no fat and that was really the last time that I officially
did NoFap because I realized that NoFap isn't really the most
efficient way to cure my previous "disease" of sex addiction
nor is it the best way to transcend and develop yourself. And in 2017 I made a
video, another video on NoFap; in that video I said "Awareness is in and of
itself curative" meaning that if you just apply whatever you do with awareness if
you could cover all your bad habits if you are fapping if you scan your balls
with the laser beam of your Consciousness, all the
unnecessary, unwanted hobbies will dissolve it is on accord, that is a view
that I still hold today but when I was making that video I didn't really go
deep enough I was still shuffling around the 'content' I was still mostly conceptual
even though I had some direct experiences...
it was mostly still it just...wasn't deep enough at the experiential level see
switching from fapping to nfap is just switching programs or content instead of
going deeper and discovering the insights and accessing the structure,
the deep structure underneath that gives rise to those contents and programs
so if you're going from fapping a lot to nofapping you're switching identity
of a fapping ego to a nofap ego, you're just sort of shuffling around
contents and if you really want to make a difference in in your life the key is to
go down and modify the structure. So the content is more like the aesthetics and
the ability so the power of the video game character and the structure is more
like the screen itself now the deepest structure the most Meta
Structure out of any system is Awareness itself the Awareness gives
rise to the mind awareness gives rise to the body and even the brain you can say
that awareness is the ultimate screen of the video game of existence
now if you don't get down to the level of awareness and really discover what
that is through Contemplative Fitness Exercises...see the philosophy
is just content even psychedelics I would argue is just more content. As I said
before I stopped doing nofap like seven years ago but my fapping frequency had
reduced by about 90% all I did was focusing on discovering the insights
into or accessing or penetrating into the context of Awareness and that is what I'm about
now like everything before last year are all content like I said in the previous
nofap video I said to cover everything you do with awareness but it's not
enough to just observe and witness experiences or desires from a distance
you have to engage divide and conquer all your sensate experiences which
constitute your perception of reality down to the microscopic and the
"quantum" levels and when I say sensations they can be body sensations, breath, a
thought, a feeling, a sound, or something in the visual field; when your mind gets
sharper and sharper, subtler and subtler and you start to, level by level by level
by level breaking down those sense experiences down to its
atomic components something really interesting begins to happen your
experience reality start to morph your experiences of time and space start to
transform, see if you shred experiences of self and reality to pieces down to
the vibratory void which is the deepest level of your subjective experience porn
mystical experiences DMT trip or meatsuits or Beethoven's fifth symphony
there are all the same, nothing more than empty spaces vibrating and mirroring in
this insight from the objective third-person outside perspective is
quantum physics quantum physics has been telling us over the last few decades
that reality when you break down atoms down to its most microscopic and
elementary component is nothing more than waves or probabilities so what the
Buddha or other contemplative and traditions Christians, Sufis whatever
discovered way before modern science just by looking inward connects and
converges with what the modern science is telling us thousands of years later from
the third-person "objective perspective" of materialistic science and
those experiences are something that anyone can access because we are all
fundamentally made up of the same thing which is just the substrate of Awareness
or Consciousness and the funny thing is this Awareness, this 360-degree mirror
reflects in all directions but it is never in and of itself stained so if
you feel like your state of well-being is being affected somehow by external
environment or by your behaviors or by your thoughts that just means
your Awareness is not strong enough every corner of awareness is equally
awake and aware and has been since day one
but you're just not aware of it you're just not aware of Awareness enough
and that means when those sages say that you are already enlightened in the
sense they are all correct the reason why they say that you are early awake is
because Awareness cannot be altered. Ultimately there's no levels
to Awareness or Consciousness it's always already infinitely and aware in all
corner of your experience and the reason why we do Vipassana is that we are
trying to penetrate through that sphere that non-duality space of
awareness from the top to the bottom again just like I said before you're
breaking down sensory experiences down to its microscopic components to reach
the non-dual awareness but paradoxically, again you can contact awareness
directly right now, you can contact it directly because it's your most
natural state but the thing is most people their minds are so
cluttered with conditioning and with with filth and with beliefs and thoughts
that they are unable to do this unless they're super gifted like
somebody who has perfect pitch; my girlfriend is a good example of that
those are the people that could just sit there and tell you
you don't have to do anything but for most of us we need
to deconstruct experiences from the top from the most gross level and most solidified
level to the level of Formlessness and realize that two are the same
"spirituality" is just waking up from the solidified
sense of Reality from the solidity of Reality and Self and experience
reality as misty, fluctuating, smoke, once you get down to
that level everything becomes like animation like smoke like liquid that's
why they call it "Spirit" it's not like you're entering some God realm it's like
you just deconstructing this Reality right now so spirituality should really
be called metaphysics you are doing "physics" from the inside and your level of
enlightenment corresponds directly to how close and how directly how
microscopic you can observe all phenomenons a PROCESS and even if you've
already entered non-duality/Infinity there's no end to how well you can deconstruct
Reality now whether you enter non-dual awareness from the macro level of form
and human experience down to the microscopic and "quantum"
realm of the Source or the dancing Void you end up in the same spot because
ultimately there is no distance or no spatial or temporal dimension in the
Absolute or the Eternal Now, my recommendation is just to skin the cat
from both sides of the extreme like if you want to be the most
complete athlete you don't wanna just do high reps for pumps or you don't want to
just do 1 Rep Max you want to do both and a lot of people who have been
doing Vipassana Retreat year after year for 20 years and
you talk to them and you ask them where their Awareness is, it's still
behind their eyes so it's still locked in the head from the matter of direct
experience which means that they're still not Awake. Why is that? because they
haven't been Vipassanalize or dissolved the meditator who is doing the meditating
now see they are doing the meditation from the perspective of an
observer that is sitting inside the head and concentrating on the objects of
meditation on the sensations, again whether thats thoughts, sounds, audio
sensations or thoughts, emotions breath it doesn't matter you have to realize
that the meditator is itself; the sensation of having someone "in here" that's doing
the meditation is in and of itself just another or multiple clusterfuck of
sensations that we call the "self" which can again be further divided and
subdivided into sub atomic components, no different from the sensations that you
perceive as the object of your meditation
so the object/subject duality must be
erased if you want to awaken to infinity which has no duality and you might say
well well you might say well it seems like I'm in here meditating on the
object over there but that presuppose distance of "here" and "there" is just
another mental construct it's just another thought, another filter
that must be deconstructed and again from the perspective of Awareness there
is no distance or there's no time, right? so everything you know about space, throw
that out, it is just more concepts from the matter of direct experience and the
reason why attacking or going directly or go in as deep as you can with
sensation to the sphere of non-dual awareness is so important is
because once you access that you are giving a whole bunch of "cheat codes"
almost like superpowers because you are granted automatically access to
different Jhanas which are states of concentration or absorption and that is
going to help you in turn be Vipassanalize even better not just through
meditation but in life and jhanas are great they're they're so delicate
they're like mine candies they're
like free psychedelic trips that you can sort of flip through like a frequency
channel on a radio or something that you can just play around with which
is super fascinating I think understanding and discovering what your
natty mind can do which you can access realms that's as powerful as DMT or acid
trip if you just stop fucking around with external forms of the content
externally and just start looking inward directly and what's going on it is
really the most fascinating video game ever created, and with enough practice you
can experience both the macro level of human experiences like watching
porn, playing video games, shooting a basketball,
lifting weights listen, to Beethoven to reading philosophy all of these are just macro
level of the human experience of form and content you could access and
directly experience them while at the same time understanding from the
experiential perspective that they are made up of the micro world of emptiness
dancing, emptiness simultaneously popping in and out, fluctuating, flowing
flickering in and out of existence, and you could actually go back and forth between
the two you could go from the first person video game perspective where you're just
shooting people 1st person and you could zoom out to where you're just in
this infinite vast spacious awareness god respected and watching the character
and it just go in and out and without accessing the true nature
of reality or if you don't want to go there...sensate experiences
of the mind NoFap is only going to create more resistance and that is why
self-control isn't the most optimal solution for any situations because
suppressing one part of yourself or your identity with another you are only
swapping one self, one identity with another, sometimes the selves collide and
they multiply and they're just reinforcing more solidity and the reason
why spirituality puts so much emphasis on the ego is not because you really
have to kill the ego it's because the ego is one of the most solidified
experience, if subjective experience that you identify and hold on to because it's so
solid you hold on to as "you" when in fact it is nothing more than a thought that
if you break down to its microscopic components subdivide and then sub sub
divide again it's nothing more than just emptiness popping in and out of nothingness
along with anything else that you perceive so this thing that we call the
"self" is nothing more than an optical illusion caused by the tangling of
various mental, somatic, emotional sensory, physical strains that could be taken
apart like a cat on unknitting a yarn ball and that is the whole purpose of
mindfulness or contemplative fitness if you want to check out some resources and
books I have a highlight in my IG story called "resources" check that out as a
closing remark I just want to say that spirituality is ultimately about having
your cake and eat it too because you can do nofap or not nofap we can do this
or that you can play your the video game of life from the first-person
perspective or the third-person perspective as long as you can switch
back and forth and the only way you can do that is to being able to deconstruct and
reconstruct reality down to pieces so we can reconstruct them and deconstruct
them reconstruct them back again and if you don't believe me again like just like what the
Buddha said come in and see for yourself from now on when I say going deep it's
about how deeply you can deconstruct reality it's not about how deep your
concepts are or how well you can interpret experiences it's not by
interpretation it's not about how deep your philosophy is, that's all just
content