(paper hits floor)
- Welcome to Hert Break.
(hip hop music)
All right guys, welcome to Hert Break.
This is another edition of the Grand Tour game, live.
We have the official game today.
And we have a special guest for you, like every Friday.
The guy who won a free car from being a
bad (bleep) from Hoonigan's Wanted.
The guy who also might be the king of Man Line.
(tires screeching)
Micah Diaz!
(John Cena Theme song)
(explosion sound)
- Ah what's up boy.
- [Micah Diaz] What's up, Drew?
- Ow, dog.
- It's done easy doesn't it?
- Damn boy, I'm trying to make you my co-host
and you're over here beating me up.
(laughs)
On camera.
- [Camera Man] Right into Micah.
- Lost the spotlight, man.
(hip hop music)
- So basically we're gonna let you do a cold lap.
Try to do it as fast as you can.
And then after I whoop your ass all day,
we'll let you go again-
- [Micah] Right, because that's gonna happen.
- [Hert] And you'll hopefully better your time.
- As of now, Ryan's the king.
- [Micah] 3:08.
- [Hert] You know if you leave here-
- [Micah] 3:08.4
- [Hert] and you don't beat him, you know what that means.
(laughs)
- This is not good, I have to beat him.
Alright, alright, I'm just letting you know.
Be ready for it.
I'll give you a couple of pointers.
- [Micah] Okay.
- [Hert] See those little balloons up there?
- [Micah] No.
- [Hert] You don't see those little ones?
- [Micah] Oh, those white ones.
- [Hert] Yeah, you need to get those so you can get gas.
- See that's a, whoa!
- [Micah] What's up daddy?
- [Hert] Yeah, you got hit with two gadgets at once.
- [Micah] I was there for the slippy-whippy.
- [Hert] Yeah.
- [Micah] That ain't new.
(engines roaring)
(tires screeching)
- [Camera Man] Oh!
(laughing)
- [Hert] You trying to-
- [Micah] Whoa this thing's ain't no very damn good.
(Hert laughing)
- You see that, dude?
- [Hert] Did you hit that drift?
- [Micah] Geez!
- [Both] Ahhh!
- [Micah] There it is.
- [Hert] Man.
- [Micah] I just wanna do better than him.
- [Hert] I'm gonna have a field day with you today.
- [Micah] Gosh, I should play more video games.
(clap)
- [Camera Man] Alright, so what do we do?
(slow clapping)
- [Micah] Oh my God.
- [Camera Man] 03:22.41
How's that compare to Ryan's?
- [Hert] He's a good four seconds slower.
(hip hop music)
- This is legit.
- Your boy's got-
- These are all, like, pre-written.
- Oh yeah, I'm a T.V. show host!
(hip hop music)
- It's a dream of mine.
Will it ever happen?
That's a long stretch.
(Hert laughing)
That's a really long stretch.
When I compare myself to somebody, because you know,
you do it as a driver.
- Yeah.
- So and so has this style, so and so has that.
- For sure.
- When I compare myself, like people say
"Oh you're about to hit 60K followers on Instagram,
dude, like that's rad!".
And I'm like yeah, but Chris Pratt has 22 million.
(laughing)
- I look at the top guys and I'm still small.
Like these guys are doing big things.
- So tell them your channel.
- Yeah, so it's just Micah Diaz on YouTube.
Hannah, my wife, and my little brother-in-law, Luke,
they do all of my editing.
I do some of the filming myself.
Hannah helps out when we bring out the nice camera.
We're trying to pave our way to be our own and not have to-
- Nah, that's the game, man.
'Cause sometimes you have to just go work these other jobs.
- Yeah, you have to.
Like my Pops, he's always like "Mijo, like listen.
You've gotta do what you've gotta do before you can do
what you wanna do.".
- Right.
- 'Cause he's always telling me, "Who's gonna pay for it?".
- Right.
- "I'm not gonna pay for it."
- No, that's the realest advice you could get.
- Like for me, it was a warehouse.
I had to work on doors and freezers.
Like it was eight hours in a freezer, trying to-
- You gotta go get your bucks.
- You have to do it.
Eventually if you continue to pursue it, it can happen.
- You literally have to make your path.
- Yeah, no one's gonna do it for you.
- Some people, it just opens up and that just-
- Some people go viral, yeah.
- If it's not opening up for you,
then you have to open it up.
- It's a very, very small percentage of people who make it
off of a clip.
- Alright, let's-
- What are we doing?
- Let's hit another session.
- Alright, let's do it.
(hip hop music)
- [Hert] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.
Give it up for Micah Diaz.
He is about to spin the wheel of unfortune.
(imitates spinning noise)
- Let's go this way.
(wheel spins)
That's probably too long, huh?
(laughs)
I probably should have spun it a little slower.
- [Hert] Nah, it's cool, you can put your heart into it.
- [Camera Man] Did you try to break the wheel?
- [Micah] Chug a beer.
Okay, here's the problem.
(laughs)
I have to drive home, and I don't really drink.
- Good boy.
Oh!
- [Micah] Oven mitts.
Does that mean I have to race with oven mitts?
- [Hert] Yep, if you lose.
- [Game Narrator] Good start.
- [Micah] Whoa, what's up with my start?
Who got the good start?
You got the good start, clearly.
- [Hert] Your boy's going down.
I don't need no gadgets.
- [Micah] Lower horsepower.
- Hert will soon find out he needs gadgets.
(game narrator #2 speaking)
- [Hert] I don't need gadgets, Drew.
(engines roaring)
(game narrator speaking)
- [Micah] Oh, you just played it right.
You played it right, all the way across the table.
(Hert laughing)
- [Hert] Hey!
- [Micah] What's up fool, what's up?
- [Hert] Hey!
(Drew coughs)
(car scraping)
- [Micah] I'm gonna rail the outside on this one.
(Micah laughs)
- [Hert] Your boy over here got drift perfectly.
- [Micah] Oh is that what that was?
Whoa, my God!
- [Hert] Your boy hit that drift perfectly.
- [Micah] Did you see me launch
off the side of the mountain?
- [Hert] Nah, too busy winning!
(Micah laughs)
- [Micah] Hyper guards.
You definitely gotta turn before the corner.
(game narrator speaking)
- Oh, God.
(laughs)
- Let's keep it hot.
(laughs)
(hip hop music)
- I really like Chasers, JZX100's.
- That's the new YouTube car of 2019, by the way.
- Oh dude, it totally is.
Everybody has one now.
I don't really know too much about them.
I'd probably do more of like an FC, like your car.
- Okay, alright.
- Because you got the recipe.
It's the same thing that I do in my Beemer.
Get that wide body, big Johnnies, Ego kit.
- Boom.
- Throw a good motor in there.
- I-
- I have to say, I probably wouldn't run a rotary.
- That's fair.
- Not because I have anything against them.
Just because I really like that high tour-
- You like big ole V8's.
- It's compensation.
I'm compensating.
(knocking)
Luckily, you can like-
- Hello!
- Hey!
(children yelling yay)
- [Braddy] Are we ready to school Hert today?
- You know, you came at the perfect time.
- [Braddy] It's about time for some spicy-sliceys.
(laughs)
- You got more options this time.
- [Braddy] Uh-oh!
- Oh yeah, we got a ton.
- [Hert] Let's give it a fresh spin.
- [Micah] Let's give it a fresh spin, echo.
- [Hert] Wheel of unfortune.
(wheel spins)
Micah Diaz.
- [Micah] I'm gonna sit down for this one.
'Cause I feel like it's gonna be something
I'm gonna have to do again.
Light?
- [Braddy] It was light.
- Eye patch, yo!
Do we have two?
- You get to be a pirate.
(engines roar)
- [Micah] They were like ah, slash a tire for me.
- [Braddy] That was fun.
- [Hert] Hey, hey!
(game narrator speaks)
- [Micah] Oh, get off of me!
What is this?
- [Hert] Ah!
- [Micah] Hey!
Caio, boys!
Ow!
Signal lost?
- [Hert] That means you're in first.
- [Micah] I don't wanna save it, I'm trying to use them.
What's up bro, where are you going?
- [Hert] Oh!
- [Micah] Where are you going?
(Micah imitates engine noise)
- [Hert] Hey!
(Micah laughs)
- [Hert] Oh man, Brad use your power ups.
(Micah laughs)
- [Micah] Oh my God.
- [Hert] Oh!
- [Micah] The screen watch, I was about to block you.
Get your eye patch!
(Micah laughs)
(claps)
Lamborghini, fun fact: They used to make tractors.
(laughs)
Slide it under the glasses, not above it, under.
- What?
- Under!
(laughs)
You're not about to cheat.
- [Hert] Yeah.
- You're still cheating!
(laughs)
- Here.
- Cover the eyeball.
- How is that-
- You can see!
- No I can't.
- How many fingers am I holding up over here?
- I can see with this eye!
- Well, you're cheating then.
- Brutal Butter says "yarrgh"
and Banana says "Shiver me timbers".
(laughs)
- Yarrgh
(Yo, I'm a pirate)
- Brad, you haven't spun.
You spun right?
Brad's up.
- Brad, go get a spin.
- [Braddy] I got a patch on my eye.
How am I supposed to spin with the patch?
(wheel spins)
That was a light spin.
Oh!
- Spicy slice.
- We running.
Mustang, Camaro, and SRT?
- [Hert] Oh man, this is really weird.
- [Braddy] Whoa, a Mustang got you, son.
- [Hert] Hey!
- [Micah] Yo, get out of here.
- [Braddy] This is difficult.
- [Micah] Yo, foggy boys.
(laughs)
(game narrator #2 speaks)
Follow me into the grass, boys.
- [Hert] Hey, who is that?
- [Braddy] Me, I'm in the front!
- [Micah] Yo.
(game narrator #3 speaks)
- [Braddy] Oh, what are you doing?
- [Hert] How is Brad up front with an eye patch?
(game narrator #2 speaks)
So you take away one of Brad's senses and then he gets-
- [Micah] And it enhances the others?
(laughs)
- [Hert] Yeah.
- [Micah] These hand controls are ridiculous right now.
- [Braddy] They're not working well at all.
- [Hert] Man I am-
- [Micah] Oh!
(game narrator #2 speaks)
Who is on the outside, is that Brad?
You come around on the corners?
- [Braddy] That was me, I came around with the drift action.
- [Micah] You cheater!
What up?
No angle, bro.
- [Hert] I'm getting a headache from this eye patch.
(laughs)
'Cause like I'm trying to see through it.
- [Micah] Ah, the whippy slippery!
Yo, is Brad in first?
- [Braddy] Yeah, that's how we do it!
- [Hert] Brad, you don't know how we do it.
- [Micah and Braddy] Oh!
- [Hert] Hey, you got in my drift.
That was not on purpose.
- [Micah] Dang, bro.
- [Hert] You happened to land right in my line of drift.
- [Micah] You know what?
I'm still hungry anyways.
- [Hert] Hey, it's okay.
I'm gonna have to eat one with you
because Brad is winning for some reason.
(laughs)
This is it, this is the moment.
- [Micah] Oh my God, I realize that break is not-
- [Hert] This is the moment!
This is the moment!
(screams)
- I didn't wanna finish.
- Yeah!
- No, this sucks.
- I know dog, we did it!
- How are you gonna do me like that
on the very back last turn?
- Yes!
("That's On Me" playing)
Oh, oh.
- [Micah] I'm thinking that Hispanic gas ester
might really work out well for you today.
- [Braddy] Those noises aren't making it more appetizing.
- [Micah] The oh's are.
- [Hert] Oh.
(laughs and claps)
You got pappy barrel-aged pepper sauce
and we have El Yucateco XXXtra Hot Sauce.
- You might not need a sweater after this.
- Chili habanero.
- I'm just telling you.
(laughs)
- Yeah, we definitely meant to have
hotter hot sauces.
(swallows)
- I'm alright.
- We haven't used these cards much,
so let's do some rapid fire real quick
before we go to the final round of
The Grand Tour smash fest.
(hip hop music)
- Zac, I feel like he'd be a little more conservative.
No offense
- Yeah, I suck at driving.
(hip hop music)
- Easy, opposite steer.
Hit 'em with the opposite steer.
- Boy, you might be on to something.
- Well you gotta just stay tuned because-
- [Hert] Yeah, you might be on to something.
(hip hop music)
- I know it's rapid, but there's a lot of them I like.
The cleanliness of James Deane.
I've been watching a lot of his older videos
and his journey, so he's kinda what's on my radar right now.
- He's arguably the best drifter in the world right now.
- The boy's got Irish Drift Championship,
European Drift Championship, and FD, twice.
Back to back.
- Honestly, I respect the battle that Shanahan
had with him, but personally I don't think he lost.
(hip hop music)
- It's yours.
- Really?
As I'm standing right here?
- I'm sorry, dude.
(hip hop music)
- What?
(laughs)
It benefits me in no way.
- You were supposed to bury that lead.
(children yell yay)
- [Hert] We need another shock card.
- If there is some way you can cut me in on some of this.
- I'll go up with you.
- Well then it's possible.
- I could work with you.
- I'm down to double stack jump.
- 'Cause you could double dip.
'Cause that's an insurance claim right there.
- Yeah, that's called fraud.
(laughs)
- That's fraud.
(hip hop music)
- Alright ladies and gentlemen.
Micah's going to try to take the top spot
on the leader board.
- [Braddy] And that top spot is, Ryan Litteral.
- It's a 3:08 by Ryan Litteral.
- This one right here, right?
Good start.
- [Hert] Wow.
- [Micah] There it is.
It's not bad, it's not bad.
- [Hert] Don't complain about the sticky controller
because I've been winning with that controller.
It's a really hard one.
- [Micah] Come on!
- [Braddy] Whoa, what's up ping pong?
- [Micah] It's like I'm racing against Brad.
- [Braddy] I'm serious, I thought I was driving.
(laughs)
- You went from doing real good to-
- [Braddy] Slippy hippy.
(car scrapes)
- [Micah] Come one, give me second.
Give me a second.
(laughs)
I'm ping ponging.
- [Braddy] Yeah you are.
I'm ping ponging here.
- [Hert] You'll learn that you can't just turn
it at 100 mile an hour.
(laughs)
You gotta actually-
- [Micah] I mean, I could do it in my Beemer.
(laughs)
- Hit the drift button, then.
- No!
(laughs)
I'm not that good.
- [Hert] It's so hard, right?
- [Micah] That's difficult.
(game narrator speaks)
Come on, I don't need that.
I don't need all of that.
(game narrator speaks)
- [Braddy] What do we got here, boys and girls?
- [Micah] It wasn't bad.
12!
- [Hert] Oh!
- [Hert and Braddy] So close.
(Micah screams)
So close.
- [Micah] No!
- Well, you know what they say,
if you're not first, you suck.
- That's true.
It's true.
He's not wrong.
(hip hop music)
- Alright guys, well I think that's a wrap for HertBreak.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for tuning in.
The Grand Tour Game is done as well as always.
Give it up to our man, the myth, the legend, Micah Diaz.
- Thank you for having me, thank you for having me.
- Let's wrap this with a nice big ole hug.
Guys, thank you for watching.
Grand Tour Game is lit.
- [Micah] I put deodorant on today.
- This is weird.
(screams)
- [Narrator] Twitch.tv/hoonigan
You can watch HertBreak live to see behind the scenes
of how this episode was made by just watching it live.
Every Monday, we're gonna do Scumbag Fabs, which is
basically us fabricating, and by us, I mean BadDaddyBraddy.
On Tuesdays, Brian's podcast, "The Shakedown".
Wednesday, another build show.
Thursday, we take you on a field trip.
Fridays, like I said, HertBreak.
Watch all of them, live, because we're fun and you liked us.
If not..
(engine roars)