No, no, no, no, no!
[fighting]
Who do you think you are, you monster?!
You're a dirty monster!
That's my soup!
You crazy stupid big monster!
You don't go tasting other people's soup.
It's me! It's me! Don't kill me! I'm not ready!
[groaning]
- Spencer? - Ah!
What are you doing?
Bleeding internally!
[grunting]
It is Gibby!
Get 'er, Gib!
Kick her butt, Gibby!
[fighting]
Oh!
[fighting]
Gibby!
- Gibby! - Gibby, come on Gibby!
- Crazy freak! - Kick her butt, Gibby!
Help me, Maurice!!
- Come on! - Gibby, come on!
[screaming]
Oh!
[fighting]
Oh!
[screaming]
[grunting]
Ow!
This isn't what I meant by express your feelings.
[screaming]
This is...
[everyone] iCarly!
Whoo!
And it's... Fight Night.
[dinging]
For the record, I'm totally against this.
I'm not. Tonight live on iCarly, you're gonna see
an all-out bare knuckle boy fight between Gibby...
and our very own technical producer, Freddie.
That's not the photo I approved.
And once the dumb fight's over...
I'll call Freddie an ambulance.
35 hours and 59 minutes to go.
Now, let's make sure we stay calm and relaxed,
so we can--
- Oh, you stepped on my foot. - No, I did not.
- No, don't start-- - Aah!
Ah!
No!
Ow! Let go! Let go! Let go! Let go!
Stop that, please!
Take her down!
Hi... Shelby, remember how you promised
to go easy on me and not really hit-- Aah!
Stop! Stop! Stop that girl!
Carly, let go off her leg!
Shay, hanging on to the left leg of the champion.
Very unusual.
I don't think we've seen this technique before.
- Let go of my leg. - Never!
Let's just say I can relate to Dave's frustrations.
And there it is.
You think Dave's right 'cause you're just like him.
I'm just saying it might be nice
if you showed a tiny bit of appreciation
for the work I do to make iCarly happen.
More appreciation?
You already named the show after yourself.
Well, if you don't like the name iCarly,
then maybe we should change it to iSam
who's too lazy to even show up for rehearsal most of the time.
Anything else you want to get off your chest?
It's not like you didn't get plenty off your chest too.
Well, if you meant everything you said,
then I don't even get why you'd want to be friends with me.
And back atcha.
What prank did you play on Sam?
- Open the door! - Call the police!
Open this door!
Leave me alone, Sam! We're even!
[screaming]
Come here, Benson!
You handcuffed her to Gibby?
She put a dead fish in my locker.
Gibby's way worse than a dead fish!
- Give me the key! - Give her the key.
Only if she promises--
[screaming]
Could you just interview me about the we-- Nevel!
I stole a kiss upon your cheek.
And now another kiss I seek.
Seek some tapenade!
Spencer!
You shouldn't have done that, Carly Shay!
You'll rue this day. You'll rue it!
You steal my motorcycle.
I don't have you arrested.
I invite you into my home.
I teach you about the joys of sculpting.
I'm forced to wait an hour for bagels I didn't even want.
And then I come home to find you chewing on my sister's face.
We were kissing.
Guilty!
I kissed him first!
Out!
Come on, man.
I'll talk to you later. Out!
- I will call you. - 'Kay.
You'll call no one, ever!
Wait, what are you doing? What are you-- What?
- Ow! - Yeah!
[grunting]
Oh. Ah.
I'm so sorry!
I accept your apology!
It wasn't for you! It was for that lady I muffined!
Guys, come on. We have a web show to do tomorrow night.
So you two better work this out.
Maybe I don't wanna work it out.
Fine, I can do iCarly by myself.
You can't do iCarly without me.
Yes, I can.
'Cause we do it at my house and y-you're banned from there.
I don't wanna be there.
I don't even want to be in the same room with you.
Well, lucky you, there's the door.
Good, why don't you use it?!
- I will! - No, I will!
- Come on, Fleck. - Let's go, Dave.
[grunting]
We're doing an interview for iCarly.
No, the interview is over. Freddie, turn off the camera.
But we're live.
- Spencer. - You just be quiet.
Hey! Don't talk to the little girl that way.
- I happen to be her-- - I don't care who you are.
Ooh. Whoa, look at your hand.
That is the beefiest hand I've ever seen.
Look at it. It's like a baseball mitt.
Spencer.
Oh, now you making fun of my hand?
Alright, don't try to intimidate me.
I am a citizen of Seattle, and I am taking these kids home
right now because I told 'em-- Oh, God, I'm afraid.
Wait!
Why didn't you tell me that you and Freddie kissed?!
Uh.
Hey, can I run upstairs for a second
and install these ca--
You spoke of it.
[screaming]
Leave me alone, Sam! No!
[screaming]
Let me go!
[screaming]
Whoa!
[fighting, cheering]
You got 'er!
[unintelligible]
Tap out! Tap out!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Okay!
I know you're upset but hedge clippers
are never the answer!
- Well. - Never the answer!
You had such a bright future.
I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I'm rocking out.
You could've been a brilliant lawyer.
That's all I'm trying to say.
But then you start making these weird sculptures
and now- but now you're putting Carly at risk!
So maybe it's for the best if...
if Carly comes to live with me!
[music playing]
Carly needs a grown up.
- I am a grown up. - Huh.
And I really don't think
Carly wants to go live with you in Yakima.
And why is that?
'Cause she likes to have fun.
Oh, you don't think I'm fun, huh?
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh. Boop.
That was impressive.
So, yeah, I traded the shirt,
but it was to get something Carly wanted a lot,
something the two of us could've done together.
And Carly refused to go to the concert so--
I would've gone with you if you'd just apologized.
Uh, she interrupted me. Yank her ponytail.
Nah, I'm gonna allow it.
- Why? - Because I love her.
Give me the rope.
Ow! You're not the rope-keeper!
Ow!
- It hurts! - Hey! You guys stop it!
I'm going as fast as I can.
Not fast enough.
- Sam. - Here, just move. Let me do it.
No, you don't know this operating system.
- Fine! - Sam, knock it off!
What are you doing?!
Give me it.
Hey!
Let go of my hair!
Alright, Chuck. Now, you listen to me.
I know what you are.
You may have Carly fooled but I know exactly what you--
[screaming]
I found it!
No! Uh.
[groaning]
Here's your other helm--
[groaning]
Why are you on the floor?
Maybe he had a stroke.