Ahh.. the notorious INFJ door slam. The seemingly harsh action of an INFJ shutting someone out
of their lives for good may seem unfair to some when in reality it’s used solely as an
act of self-love for an INFJ to defend their precious energetic gifts. So, what exactly
is an INFJ door slam and what do most people not understand about this powerful INFJ move?
Welcome or welcome back Psych-o! Today we’ll be talking all about the hard truths behind
the dreaded INFJ door slam. Before we get into the video, have you liked and subscribed to our
channel? Go ahead, we’ll wait for you. Be sure to click the notification bell while
you’re there, so that you never miss a video! Alright, let’s get right into it starting with..
Number 1: It is a defense mechanism to protect INFJ energy
Some people may question how the caring and loving INFJ is capable of such a harsh
action of suddenly shutting people out of their lives for eternity.
Well.. the INFJ doesn’t use door slamming in a malicious way, in fact, they will probably take
every measure to have the door slam played out in the most civil way possible. Instead,
they use this powerful gesture to put a halt on their continuous output of energy within a
negative situation or towards a negative person. The empathic and intuitive natural abilities of
the INFJ cause them to attract all sorts of people who could use an empathetic hand - even the ones
who technically don’t deserve it - and sometimes this introverted personality type is too kind
to set firm boundaries when stepping in to help. While they are usually a great judge of character,
INFJs can easily overlook the red flags they sense from a person in order to give them the
benefit of the doubt which makes it easy for toxic people to weasel their way into
an INFJ connection. So, although they may not set their boundaries from the start, sooner or later,
after a lot of inputted energy, they may feel it’s necessary to end the connection fair and square.
Number 2: Abusive behaviour is the main culprit While there are numerous different reasons why
an INFJ may choose to follow through with a door slam, it all boils down to disrespect and abusive
behaviours - 2 things INFJs will never tolerate. Besides the fact that the introspective INFJ has
their own set of morals that they hold true to their heart, they can also sense when there
is something fishy going on within a connection. Since they understand humans on a level to which
they can forgive and relate to people’s mistakes - the mistakes that others may not
be so understanding about - the INFJ will only cut someone out for continuous emotional abuse towards
themselves or someone they love. Abusive behaviour won’t cause an INFJ to run right away, because
after all, INFJs don’t really want to resort to the dreaded door slam and may even take abusive
behaviour as a challenge to help the disturbed individual. Yet, there always comes a time when
an INFJ knows that saying good-bye is their answer to their own restored energy and mental health.
Number 3: There are countless efforts behind every door slam
INFJs are sensitive, but they are also very understanding. So, although it may seem as if
INFJs resort to door slamming to avoid having to deal with further conflict in the heat of the
moment, that’s not quite how door slamming works. If an INFJ resorts to door slamming someone out
of their lives, you can be sure that there were countless attempts and efforts to rekindle the
connection or solve the issue that’s at hand. In fact, more often than not, INFJs give the benefit
of the doubt towards a negative situation or person for much longer than it’s due,
so by the time the door slam rolls around, an INFJ has usually detached themselves from the emotion
of cutting that person off because they have so much baggage to fuel the necessary door slam.
During the contemplation phase of a door slam, an INFJ may even demonstrate
‘test-run’ door slams or periods of distancing themselves from that person in order to feel the
change in energy without that person around so that they are 100% confident in their decision.
Number 4: There can be a second chance
When an INFJ has reached their final decision to follow through with a door slam,
there is no changing their mind..They’ve already been through the emotional ups and
downs of making such a decision, and there's no going back once they’ve reached their cold and
calm door slam state. But what about rekindling a connection that was previous door slammed? Well,
the door slam may not be as permanent as it may seem. Most INFJs tend to hold onto
anger and resentment long after someone has apologized for the sole reason that they can
take it really hard when someone they trust has let them down. Luckily, aside from that fact,
overall INFJs are very forgiving and understanding people and if down the road, the shut out person
appears to have changed for the better, an INFJ won’t hesitate to give someone a second chance.
While it’s not the most efficient system, as it can definitely open the door for emotional
manipulators to love-bomb their way back into an INFJs life, it all comes from a place of
love and empathy for humans - a function that INFJs can’t control. Of course, the
rekindled connection will come with a hefty set of boundaries and skepticism, maybe even causing
an INFJ to keep this person at a healthy distance to avoid regaining the closeness they once had.
Number 5: It NOT easy for an INFJ
When it comes to the INFJ door slam, the real question is, who ends up more hurt?
The INFJ or the abuser? Well, while the abuser may be lost and hopeless because
they lost their most valuable life line, an INFJ can take the situation personally.
A true door slam takes a good amount of contemplation and numerous exhausting
attempts at saving the relationship before finding the courage to really follow through.
In fact, the process leading up to a door slam usually takes months on end for an
INFJ to mentally configure whether or not they should be pouring more energy into the situation,
or completely pulling every ounce of their effort out of it. The breaking point is usually when
an INFJ realizes that if they don’t remove this person completely, they may be too upset to let
go of them in the future - and this decision does not come lightly. INFJs want to believe in people
but even the strongest individuals can only take so much pain, eventually leading them to their
last and only option of letting go of the source that is causing all of their pain and misery.
Well, that’s it for today PSYCH-Os.. So, have you ever door slammed or been door slammed?
If so, comment which ones down below! Don’t forget to leave us a like,
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