Hello Brains! And Hearts!
Remember that thing I promised you I’d do?
Yeah…
About that.
We don’t always do what we intend to do.
Why?
Because between
With most tasks, for most people, that chasm is bridged by motivation.
We’ll call this “Motivation Bridge.”
And it’s built using motivational planks like
“This will be good for my career.”
“It will make my family proud.”
“I told a bunch of people I would.”
Motivation bridge isn’t always perfect,
but
Self-discipline.
I don’t want to do the thing, but if it’s important to me,
I will.
I might not have all the motivation,
but I have enough that I can get there.
Unfortunately, ADHD is what Dr. Russell Barkley often refers to a
a “motivation deficit disorder.”
Something might be just as important to us as it is to someone without ADHD
but that importance doesn’t give us as many motivational planks.
We don’t have little gaps in motivation.
Half the bridge is missing.
Which means we might
we might put a ton of effort into trying to.
We just…can’t.
This can be really confusing and frustrating for people
who can’t see all the missing planks
and don’t understand why we don’t just cross the bridge and do the thing.
They can get over their gaps, why can’t we get over ours?
We must not care. We must be lazy.
It’s also confusing and frustrating for us,
when it’s a bridge we’ve crossed before,
a thing we’ve been able to do before.
This is why many ADHDers feel like maybe we ARE just lazy or don’t care.
We know we CAN do it, other people are doing it…
so why aren’t we?
Because it’s not about that.
The times that we or other people can do the thing?
It’s because there are more planks.
So if we want to get something done and we’re having trouble doing it,
or if we want to support an ADHD brain we love, what do we do?
How do we fix Motivation bridge?
First, it helps to understand what ADHD brains find motivating --
and what they don’t.
Because this also differs a bit from neurotypical brains.
According to research,
ADHD brains tend to have trouble with tasks that are lengthy, repetitive, or boring.
On the flip side,
there are a few things that give ADHD brains a bunch of motivational planks:
Things that are urgent.
Things that are new, or novel
And things that are of personal interest.
In other words, things that are stimulating, or engaging to our brains.
Which is also why stimulant medication and exercise can be helpful.
This need for stimulation isn’t a choice, it’s how our brains work.
Some tasks naturally include these motivational planks --
Video games, anyone?
Which is why they hold our focus so well.
But for those that don’t, we can add them.
We can fill in the planks.
How?
1. Make it urgent.
One way we do this kind of unintentionally is by procrastinating.
We might struggle for weeks to get started on a paper,
but then the night before it’s due, a sense of urgency kicks in
and suddenly we have the planks to get over that bridge.
Sound familiar?
That...might not be the healthiest thing in the world.
But there are other ways to create a sense of urgency.
Creating artificial deadlines?
Is kinda hit-and-miss for ADHD brains, since we know on some level the deadline isn’t “real”
-- but accountability can help make it real.
Maybe instead of having one final deadline for a paper,
ask your teacher if you can have a deadline for each draft.
If you’ve got a big project at work,
meet with a coworker regularly to check in on each other’s progress.
Wanna get your house clean?
Invite someone over.
Knowing someone will see our house -- and soon
can give us the motivational planks we need to clean it up.
And sometimes we don’t even need to
we just need to see the ways in which it already
I might not feel like I need to do something today,
but if I don’t, it’s gonna put me behind on the rest of my week.
Realizing that helps.
Timers are also useful.
Setting a timer and seeing how much you can get done before it goes off.
What doesn’t help?
Seeing someone with ADHD struggling with something and being like
“it’s okay, get it to me whenever.”
Although it’s wonderfully understanding,
it actually takes away planks and makes it less likely that we’ll be able to get it done.
Instead, check in.
Ask for updates.
Shame-free accountability is really helpful.
2. Make it new, or novel
We can’t always do new things, but we can do them in new environments or in new ways.
Do your homework in a hammock.
Learn new ways to fold laundry.
I was kinda meh about folding laundry until I learned Marie Kondo’s method,
and now it’s kinda fun.
If you’re having trouble getting yourself to floss,
try getting a variety of floss flavors to choose from.
I tend to get bored of my hobbies really quickly,
but I’ve learned to accept that once they get old,
I will put them down for a while and I’ll cycle back to them when they feel new again.
For tasks you have to do a lot,
you can iterate on them --
challenge yourself to find easier, better or faster ways to do them.
Or weirder ways!
Studying might be boring, but what if I had to do it upside down?
Gamification
There are a lot of ways to mix it up.
Finally,
3. Make it personally interesting.
ADHDers are interest based learners.
It’s a lot easier for me to read a book in a series that I’m excited about
than one my teacher assigned me for homework.
That’s true for anyone,
but for those of us with ADHD it can be the difference between being
Anyone who’s ever lived with an ADHD brain knows
that whether or not we’re interested in a task can be the difference between it taking 5 minutes and 5... years.
So at this point, before I even start a task,
I try to get my brain interested in it.
One way I do this?
The episodes I make for this channel are
usually about something that I’m struggling with at the time.
So I’m personally invested in finding a solution.
Sometimes we don’t get to choose the tasks we have to do,
but we can do them in a way we find interesting --
Even for things we HAVE to do,
IN a certain way, it’s usually possible to find something about it that’s of personal interest.
Whatever you do,
try not to make a task you need to get done compete with one that’s more interesting.
Even if we can’t find anything else interesting about a task,
we can add rewards that are interesting.
Rewards can be especially motivating for ADHD brains,
but keep in mind, we experience time differently.
Long-term rewards are often too far away to be effective.
This is why the immediate feedback of sticker charts,
raffle tickets, or even a quick verbal acknowledgement is great.
It shortens the distance between the behavior and the reward,
which makes it more motivating.
And gives us more motivational planks.
All these things -- making it urgent, making it new or novel,
and making it personally interesting --
can give us more planks to help us get over Motivation Bridge.
Do we need to have all the planks in place before we start?
No, of course not.
And jumping over the little gaps can make us stronger.
But if your bridge looks like this…
Don’t waste energy trying to jump that gap or telling yourself
or someone you love how important it is that they get it done.
They know.
Instead, get curious about what’s missing --
And then? Fill in the planks.
Thank you to my Brain Board and all my Patreon Brains
for giving me the motivation to keep making these videos,
as well as inspiration for the suggestions.
And thank you to my research team for helping me get all the facts right.
Comment below what helps motivate you, and I will see you next time!
Bye Brains!