- Attention everyone.
Pear is trying to read.
(growls)
No one disturb Pear.
I repeat do not disturb Pear.
- Gimme that.
- Pear cannot focus on his reading
if there is too much noise
and also he is my best friend.
(laughs)
- Give me that.
- No, give me that.
- What the huh?
- Hit it fellas.
Attention kitchen, prepare yourselves,
for the dopest, flyest, wiggly-wildest food rapper
known to all food kind.
Get your non-existent hands in the air,
for the one, the only Vanilla Spice.
- Yo, what up kitchen?
What's good?
Brrra!
- Vanilla who?
- Yeah, who extractly is this guy?
(laughs)
- Yo, what you talkin' bout?
- I'm Vanilla Spice yo.
Didn't you catch that super fly hype man introduction
with the expensive light show?
I spared no expense, yo.
- Except on that hair cut.
(laughs)
(groans)
- Yo, listen up.
I'm the famous age rapper, Vanilla Spice.
I'm doing a show today.
Form a line to the left y'all.
Tickets are on sale now.
Yeah!
(cricket chirping)
- Tickets?
More like crickets.
(laughs)
- Okay, fine.
Tickets are half off y'all.
Let's get it.
(crickets chirping)
Uh, all right.
Tickets are free everybody.
(crickets chirping)
No?
Okay, fine I get it.
I'll pay you to come to my show.
Yeah boy.
(cricket chirping)
- Yo, y'all should probably hire
an exterminator for them crickets.
- Hey, they'll destroy your garden, yo.
- Ah, man.
I guess it finally happened.
Nobody cares about my super fly rap music
from the 80s anymore.
Time to throw in the parachute pants, yo.
I'm a has been.
- Ah, Spice.
Don't say that yo.
- Nah, guys, don't even trip.
Don't call me Spice no more.
It's official, I'm more Vanilla than Spice.
Word to ya motha.
- Who are these guys?
The way they dress is a little jarring.
(laughs)
- Yo, this is my posse.
They the VIPs.
- What does the VI stand for?
- Very icky.
We're super mushy.
- So babies can eat us, yo.
- Let's show these two what Vanilla Spice is all about.
Yo, VIPs, let's kick it.
♪ Spice, spice baby ♪
- Why'd they make a song about a spice baby?
♪ Vanilla spice, spice baby ♪
(groans)
♪ All right stop ♪
♪ Collaborate and listen ♪
♪ Spice is back with a delicious new rap ♪
♪ Something grabs a hold of me tightly ♪
♪ Gives me my VIPs who are cool will ♪
- Yo, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop.
- Yo, yo, yo.
We was just getting into the flow though, yo.
- Sure.
A low flow toilet maybe.
(laughs)
- Vanilla Spice, that was awful.
- Yo, it was?
- Yes.
- Yo but the VIPs always tell me how great I am.
- And you are.
- The best, yo.
- Aye, please keep paying us to be your friends.
- Vanilla Spice, it's pretty clear
that you don't know how to rhyme.
- Finally, somebody comes out and says it.
It's true, I'm a fraud.
I don't know how to rhyme.
Man I just thought nobody'd be able to tell
if I could do it with enough dancing
and lighting effects.
(sighs)
I cannot rap and I cannot rhyme.
- Yet you been rapping a long, long time.
(laughs)
- Wait, wait, wait.
Was that a rhyme?
I'm actually asking cause honestly I have no idea.
- That was a rhyme.
It was indeed.
- Now watch this orange spit a seed.
(spits) (laughs)
- Yo, this orange is super fly at rhyming.
- Please don't encourage him.
- Yo VIPs, hit me with that bass drop.
♪ Spice, spice baby ♪
♪ Vanilla spice, spice baby ♪
♪ All right stop ♪
♪ Collaborate and listen ♪
♪ Spice is bring that rhyme to the kitchen ♪
♪ Something grabs ahold of me tightly ♪
♪ Hope it's not a hand that's holding a knifey ♪
♪ Will I ever stop ♪
♪ Naa, he's too rad ♪
♪ Turn off the lights ♪
♪ Cause his hair cuts so bad ♪
♪ Spice, spice baby ♪
- Orange, how can I ever thank you?
Yo, people are finally showing up to watch me perform.
- Think nothing of it.
It was my pleasure.
- Let me show you my thanks
by giving this treasure.
- Vanilla Spice, you just did it.
- I rhymed?
(cheering)
Thanks y'all.
Vanilla Spice is back on top.
Yo, man, let's get outta here.
Cheese curd to ya motha.
♪ Spice, spice baby ♪
- Spice baby.
- Orange, I got this now, bro.
Thanks for your help.
- Now, spice baby.
- Huh? (records scratches)
(screaming)
(upbeat folk music)