- Spiritual people think that some of these things
that they do are attractive,
but it actually completely repels love
and it blocks it from coming into their life
and the funny thing is that they actually think
it's actually helping them when it is in fact not.
So in this video, I'm gonna share with you three traits
most spiritual people have that is actually blocking love
from coming into their lives.
Now the first one has to do with something
that many people might think is noble,
especially spiritual people.
Now it's very common when people go through
a spiritual awakening that what they do is they realize,
you know, they have these spiritual epiphanies where they
realize, "Oh, we're all eternal spiritual beings
of contemporary human experiences."
Now one thing that's very common that can happen
is that they then want and they can then feel
other people's energies.
That's called an empath.
If you're an empath, like this video or comment below.
An empath is somebody that can feel other people's energy,
somebody that can tune to their environment
and many people that go through a spiritual awakening
also have that empathic-type quality.
Now the thing is, is when someone
has that empathic-type quality
and they can feel other people's energy,
there's a tendency for people to tune to others,
because that's what they're doing,
they're tuning to others, to feel safe
because normally what has happened
is in childhood things didn't feel safe
and what the child decided is I'm gonna tune to other people
in order to get my needs met.
If Mom is okay or Dad's okay,
then I can finally relax and feel okay.
If my siblings are fighting and I make it all better,
then I can finally feel safe.
The challenge is that what ends up happening is that people
that have gone through a spiritual awakening
that feel empathic, they can feel other people's energy,
is then what happens is they tune too much to others
and it has a very repelling-type energy
because then what happens is it's almost like
I can't feel safe until you feel good
so it becomes this fix-it mentality.
I'm gonna fix you.
I'm gonna help you.
I'm gonna extend myself out to you.
And it seems kind of like a noble thing to do
'cause it's like, well,
but really it's a self-worthiness thing.
It says, "I feel worthy based on how much I can give to you,
how much I can help you."
But I'll tell you from personal experience
that the more you try to help somebody else
and the more you act as somebody else's like coach or guide,
the more depolarized that dynamic becomes
because when it comes to attracting love and attraction,
it's not about somebody coaching somebody else.
It's not about trying to fix somebody else
'cause also if you try to fix somebody else,
you're implying that that somebody else is broken.
There's something wrong with them.
Doesn't feel very good for them.
So what happens, though, for many people that are empathic
is they try to get everybody else to feel good
and it becomes this people-pleasing mentality
a lot of times and people-pleasing mentality
is one of the most unattractive qualities there is
because it is literally saying
it is trying to manipulate other people
in order to get their own needs met.
If I can make you happy, then you'll give me validation
and approval and it ends up depolarizing relationships.
It's needy, codependent energy and the key
and the power of this video is realizing
that what a lot of times we're searching for is for people
to meet our needs, our inner child needs
that weren't met in childhood.
So there's a pattern of then abandoning ourselves
to make others happy and that's not attractive.
That actually repels love because then we're
changing our center of gravity to tune to others,
hoping that those others will come around
the way Mom and Dad may not have come around.
So this is all about awareness
and one of the traits of people-pleasing,
the way that we get through that and we get over that
is we realize that the pleasing of other people,
trying to please them is trying to manipulate them
to get our own needs met, so it's awareness,
but the key is to stop abandoning ourselves,
to stop abandoning ourselves in the process.
And the way we stop abandoning ourselves
is by actually being the real us,
by not seeking their approval or validation
and by doing what we want
and to realize that we're externalizing
our own sense of happiness,
we're externalizing our own sense of power
by searching for it in other people.
So even though you might be an empath,
you might feel other people's energy,
realize you can bring your energy back, bring it back,
and that's one of the most magnetic things you can do
because when you bring it back,
you're then in your own body,
even just right now as you're listening to this,
put your hands on your feet in your hands
because when you are grounded in your own body,
that is magnetic energy.
People feel that.
When you don't need anything from them,
that is magnetic energy.
They can feel that.
But when you want something from them,
you're projecting energy at them
and it literally repels them because it's needy energy
that's being projected at them.
It wants something from them.
When I used to sell woman's shoes,
if I would go into work and I'd be
like wanting someone to buy shoes, please buy shoes from me,
please help my paycheck, I really want them to buy,
it was like they could feel that energy,
but when I didn't care, when I was good either way,
that changed everything.
And one of the things to do is to bring the energy back
to yourself and what I focused on was having more fun,
connecting to people instead of needing them to buy,
being attached to outcome.
And a lot of times with, I think, spiritual people
is they may be attached to the outcome.
They might be trying to control
because in childhood there was a lack of control
so they're trying to control the dynamics,
but I tell you one thing,
one thing for sure you can't control in your life
is other people and relationships.
So bring the energy back,
put it into your sense of self, stop abandoning yourself
and give yourself more permission to express yourself
and to be the real you
and to know that it's okay to be polarizing,
it's okay to go into tension
and that changes a lot.
Now the second thing that is very common
with spiritual people that I notice is
there becomes this lack of being grounded.
So that's the second trait that literally repels love,
not being grounded and not being practical.
Now, with this, what happens I think,
and this is all tied to the people, to the empath thing
as well, I believe, so what happens is we tune ourselves
to others and I have this theory as well
that what happens is when we go through the childhood stuff,
when we're kids, it's almost like we don't feel safe
'cause being grounded inside of your, okay,
I'm gonna come out of frame so I don't wanna do that.
Being grounded inside of yourself
is like your lower chakras, right?
So what happens is we don't feel safe
so we move up into our upper chakras,
which is like our third eye, our throat,
and like our tuning to the universal cosmos,
but that results in not being grounded
and that's why as a coping mechanism,
empaths have tuned themselves to other people
to get their needs met.
So it's almost like they tune themselves to their third eye
to other people so that they could know
and know how everyone else is feeling so they can feel safe.
But then they also tune to the Pleiades,
to the dolphins over here,
to all of these extraterrestrial things,
to all these conspiracy theories,
to all these kind of heady, third eye things
and what ends up happening
is they end up not being grounded here.
They end up not feeling present here
and they're not grounded.
And then when somebody else meets them,
it's like they almost don't know,
they're not able to feel into this other person
because they're so tuning to everything else.
They're tuning to the other people for safety,
they're tuning to the Pleiades, the altruist,
and all these other things
and they're not feeling grounded in their own energy
and that repels love because it's also not here and now.
One of the most magnetic things you could do
is to bring your energy back here.
I promise you when you are more present to the moment,
you are more magnetic.
So bring your energy back in your feet, into your hands.
It changes everything and realize that a lot of times,
I'm gonna be a little bit blunt here.
Some of the spirit, some of it, I'm not saying that
like the Pleiades isn't a real place,
you can't connect to it and meditation and stuff,
I'm just saying that like you being here now
is more important than your parallel incarnation,
the Pleiades, or altruist, or the other places.
Be here now.
Now, when we are projecting ourselves out though,
we are kind of escaping being present to the moment.
And the more here you are,
the more people will feel your energy
instead of it being diluted in going everywhere else.
So one of the most magnetic things you could do
is to bring your energy back and to focus on being grounded.
Something else you could do is you could walk barefoot
in grass, something I do.
You can meditate.
Do the frame technique, one of the most powerful meditation
practice I've ever found for having magnetic energy
and literally it just means putting your hands
and your feet and your energy in your hands and your feet,
feeling the separation between you and others
instead of tuning to everybody else
because then you also stop abandoning yourself for others
and you start feeling powerful in your own body.
When I started feeling more grounded, I remember,
oh, what I was gonna say about this though
is sometimes what happens, this so happened for me.
I went through my awakening, people didn't get me.
I had developed this story that said like
people don't understand me
and I thought everyone else is asleep.
I started judging other people,
but also I started getting a sense of significance
off of being spiritual.
I remember literally thinking like,
"If I tell a girl that I think she's from, you know,
like Pleiades or something, she'll probably think
that's really special and cool."
And it was like a significance thing
and I think sometimes I call it star seed significance.
It's like escaping here to talk about the star seed stuff
and like all that stuff, but it's almost like
there's a wanting to feel different, to feel special.
That's called significance
and when we're chasing significance, it's very shallow
and I learned that from experience.
I had to let all that stuff go and to focus
on being here and now.
I had to stop also judging.
When it comes to attracting love or being attractive,
the more judgements we have about other people,
they feel that shit and then they reflect it back
and they judge back.
It's like me saying like people are asleep,
they don't understand this stuff because no one gets me.
That was blocking me from connecting to people in my life.
Once I let that go and realized this isn't some ego trip
of like someone's better than someone else, someone's woke,
someone's asleep, I was able to connect with people
in a very different way
and it was much more magnetic and attractive energy.
So that's the second one, not being grounded,
and the way you be grounded,
put the energy back in your body, do the frame technique.
I'll link that video at the end.
And the third one, it's also one of the most powerful ones
is a lack of setting boundaries.
Sometimes with friends and family,
you may say yes to everything.
You may say yes to other people being a certain way.
You may say yes to like people telling you
where to be and how to be.
You may have really trouble say no to like
things you actually don't wanna do.
People may cross the, there may be no lines.
Like people cross the line and like, that's not okay,
but like there is no line.
And why? Because other people's emotions or feelings
are your emotions or feelings.
That's how it feels.
It's connected to the people-pleasing thing
and not being grounded.
It's a lack of being in the body
and feeling that separation.
So when it comes to setting boundaries,
realize that boundaries are your way of communicating
your sense of value.
The more also you value yourself,
a lot of times, the more boundaries you have.
Back in the day when I first got on YouTube,
I remember before that, it was hard for me to say no
to friends that wanted to hang out
and I started making videos and I started being busy
and it was like so hard for me to say no to my friends
wanting to hang out because it's like, if I let them down,
I was letting myself down because their emotion
was my emotion, people-pleasing thing.
As eventually as I started to grow my channel,
I started to be like, "Oh, I have this mission.
I have this vision.
I'm making videos every day."
I started to value my time and energy more
so what ended up happening is it became easy.
I eventually valued myself more and I had to say no.
I had to say no to other people's boundary,
or I had to say no to doing things
that other people wanted me to do for their own benefit.
So what ended up happening is it got easier
for me to say no and the more I said no to things
I didn't want, not that I didn't ever wanna hang out
with them, but like I had to say no to that
so I could say yes to me growing my YouTube channel,
so I could say yes to like me doing
what I really meant to do in life.
So setting boundaries is one of the most magnetic things
you can possibly do
and when you set boundaries with other people,
it communicates a sense of value.
And remember, if they're mad at you for setting boundaries,
that's their shit, not yours.
That's what's very important to remember.
And to remember that the more you're in your own frame,
the more you're in your own energy,
the more magnetic you will be.
Now, one of the things that I have,
it's one of the most powerful things
that you can begin to use is an inner child meditation
for healing this energy.
It's an inner child meditation where we
energetically go to Kauai, Hawaii, and what we do is
we meditate and we heal our own inner child.
We bring it forth so that we can meet the needs
that we weren't met growing up.
We'll feel completely different.
So if you haven't listened to this meditation yet,
you can go to AaronDoughty.com/child.
It's completely free.
And then also there's a video right here
for confident secrets that make you attractive.
AF, it's one of my most popular videos.
Check this video out right here.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious
and based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out and other people.