Some of our viewers have been asking about "How to stop feeling overwhelmed as
a parent?" There's a lot to it but there's some really clear fixes too. Let's play
with this word for a minute --Overwhelmed. Kind of presumes that
there's some perfect amount of wellness and you've exceeded that. I've heard of
people being underwhelmed too which I guess means you haven't quite hit the
point where you're perfectly whelmed. What would that even look like? I think we
ought to start a trend here to talk about feeling perfectly whelmed. And
maybe we'll determine what that looks like as a parent. Let's look at some of
the causes of feeling overwhelmed. I think that's going to lead us into some
solutions. One of the roots of feeling overwhelmed is a sense that you're not
quite doing your job that you're not adequate to the task that's before you
and so you feel overwhelmed. What would be the cure for that particular route?
What's your job? If you've been watching this channel at all in the positive
parenting playlist, you'll know the answer to that. Your job as a parent is
to love them no matter what and even if/ The cure for feeling overwhelmed based
on this route that I'm not doing my job is to get clear about what your job is.
Because guess what? You're doing your job, aren't you? If you're doing your job, you
could feel perfectly whelmed that you already love your kids no matter what
and even if. Does that help? Here's another root cause of feeling
overwhelmed. There's too much to do, there's too much to do. There's so much
to do that there's no way I could ever get it all done. Okay. Reality check
people: There is too much to do. It's true. There is more to do than you could ever
possibly get done. I think that's kind of a myth anyway when have you ever been
done with everything. You're not. Other stuff shows up once you finish the
stuff you're working on. This is a true principle of life. There is too much to
do. Except the reality. If you accept that you can't possibly do everything. And
that's okay. That's part of life. Maybe you could get back to feeling perfectly
whelmed. It's not your job to do all of the stuff that's not even possible to
get done. What's your job? Oh, yeah. We already talked about that. To love them
no matter what and even if. Do you see how that starts to bring a little more
whelmedness instead of feeling overwhelmed? Kind of relieving, isn't it?
Another root cause of feeling overwhelmed is too many expectations. I'm
expected to do this, I'm expected to do that. I'm not meeting up to all of
these expectations. Okay, pause. Whose expectations?
Who says you're supposed to look this way or be that way or accomplish this or
do that? Who says? Now, maybe you've got a really good answer to that. Oh, well my
mother said that I should be this kind of a mom. Or society expects me to do
this or that. Alright. Well, just consider the source and let's see if that
expectation is something that you really want to hang on to something that you
want to hang your hat on. Most of the time the expectations that are kicking
our trash as a parent come from our own mind.
We're the ones dreaming up these expectations. I do this to myself too.
Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed in a project I've taken on, it's because I
have set a deadline, a time line, a limit an expectation for
myself. I set it. I set the expectation. Huh? Well, if I set the expectation, can I
change it? "Wait, wait, wait. Dr. Paul, isn't that against the rules?" Whose rules? Let's
be clear about where the expectations are coming from. And I'm betting that if
you're feeling overwhelmed. it's because of your own expectations and who's going
to change those? I give you full permission to change your expectations
for yourself. Isn't that cool? I gave you permission like you needed permission.
Well, maybe you did. And I just gave it to you. So, if anybody asks you can say, "Hey,
Dr. Paul who has a Phd (because that means something to somebody. I'm sure.)
Gave me permission to lighten up on the expectations." Wow, that feels a little
better too. Are you feeling more perfectly whelmed as we go through this
conversation? You know, I just realized we've talked about this before on the
channel. In fact, you can link to another video watch it right after this one cue
it up right there with that card about how to stop being overwhelmed. You'll get
a double dose that way. I've got one more point for this particular video, though.
Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. The root cause of that overwhelmed for us is
feeling that we're not good enough. I could probably go off on this one for a
while. But here's the thing, you are better than you think you are. You are
better than you feel that you are. I tell my clients all the time here at the
office, "You're not as crazy as you feel." And they're like, "Oh, really?"
And they feel this relief because we get it in our head. You know, and it has to do
with those expectations and the other things that we've already talked about
here today. You're better than you think you are. As a parent, you are a benevolent
generous loving parent. Will you just accept that, receive that from me? Because
if your own head is telling you something
different, then you're gonna be all overwhelmed and then you're going to start
yelling at your kids again and feeling upset. Pause, just pause for a minute and
accept what dr. Paul's telling you here. You are a benevolent, generous, loving
parent. Embrace that. And I know there's improvements you could make. That's why
you're here. hat's why we're doing these videos. Let's team up on that. Let's help
each other with that. Setting that aside, you're already doing a good job. The fact
that you're here tells me a lot about you. So, embrace that for a minute. And let
go of that destructive pride that has you hanging on to your own opinion about
that in the face of what I just shared with you. Just trust me enough to go with
that for now. When you accept that, how do you feel?
Overwhelmed or perfectly whelmed? Let's all work together to be perfectly
whelmed. We all get overwhelmed from time to time. Hopefully now we can all be more
perfectly whelmed, right? We're ready to help you. Our amazing team of certified
coaches is ready to take your call. Sign up right now. You schedule it, okay? A free
break through call with one of our coaches. We've got tons of resources
available to you as a parent. Click on the link down in the description. Dr
PaulJenkins.com/ breakthroughcall. It's free and we're
ready to talk.
look at him