WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW"."
FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN WHO HAS
PERFORMED IN 43 COUNTRIES IN FOUR LANGUAGES.
PLEASE WELCOME EDDIE IZZARD.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: NICE TO HAVE YOU ON.
>> VERY GOOD TO BE HERE.
>> Stephen: HAVE NOT SEEN YOU SINCE-- I WAS JUST SAYING TO YOU
BACKSTAGE, SINCE WE WERE AT THE RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY AND/OR
KEEP FEAR ALIVE AT THE MALL IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
>> IT WAS A CATCHY TITLE, WASN'T IT?
>> Stephen: IT WAS.
THE PRINTER MADE A LOT OF MONEY.
>> NO IT WAS-- YES, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL TO BE THERE.
AS A SPIRITUAL ATHEIST THAT I AM.
GOOD START TO A THING IN AMERICA.
>> Stephen: SURE, WHY NOT?
>> I DON'T BE IN THE GUY UPSTAIRS.
I BELIEVE IN US.
I BELIEVE IN HUMANITY.
I THINK THERE'S MORE GOOD WILL THAN ILL WILL IN THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: IT IS NICE.
YOU CAN SOMETIMES-- YOU CAN SOMETIMES HAVE THAT REINFORCED
WHEN YOU SEE A QUARTER OF A MILLION PEOPLE GET TOGETHER WITH
GOOD WILL.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: LOVE FOR EACH OTHER.
>> ABSOLUTELY.
AND UNFORTUNATELY OUR POLITICS LAST YEAR WENT WEIRD IN YOUR
COUNTRY AND MY COUNTRY.
IN FRANCE IT'S GONE KIND OF BEAUTIFUL THIS YEAR.
( APPLAUSE ) YES.
AND AS YOU MENTION, I'M NOW PERFORMING IN FOUR LANGUAGES--
IT'S UP TO 45 COUNTRIES NOW YOU KNOW AROUND THE WORLD.
COMEDY EXISTS ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
SENSE OF HUMOR IS HUMAN AND NOT NATIONAL.
THAT'S THE INTERESTING THING.
THE FRENCH HAVE THIS, AND THE GERMANS DON'T HAVE-- IT'S NOT
TRUE.
IT'S ACTUALLY-- IT'S ALL AROUND THE WORLD.
IT'S THE REFERENCES THAT YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF.
I DO IT TO NATIONAL REFERENCES.
I TRAVEL AROUND.
HUMAN SACRIFICE.
I START MY SHOW-- IT'S CRAZY BECAUSE WE ALL DID IT.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE HUMAN SACRIFICE --
>> Stephen: AT SOME POINT IN THE PAST OF THE CULTURE.
>> 15 YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WE DO IT ON TWITTER NOW.
>> EXACTLY.
BUT IT'S A BRILLIANT THING.
IT'S-- EVEN THOUGH THE CRAZINESS OF THE POLITICS, NO ONE, EVEN
TRUMP, IS NOT SAYING HUMAN-- MAYBE TRUMP IS SAYING HUMAN
SACRIFICE.
NEARLY EVERYONE HAS STOPPED IT.
SO THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING THAT HUMANITY DID SAY, "WHOA!
BACK IN THE DAY, SOMEONE WAS GOING, THE WEATHER IS BAD, THE
CROPS ARE FAILED, THE GOD OBVIOUSLY HATE US SO WE'RE GOING
TO KILL STEVE.
THAT IS INSANE.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARILILY BROAD CAREER.
YOU-- YOU'VE BEEN IN STAND-UP FOR OVER 30 YEARS.
YOU HAVE TWO EMMYS.
TONY NOMS FOR LEAD ACTORS.
YOU ARE IN THE "OCEAN" MOVIES AND A NEW MEMOIR CALLED "BELIEVE
ME: A MEMOIR OF LOVE, DEATH, AND JAZZ CHICKENS."
IS THAT-- IS THERE A STORY BEHIND JAZZ CHICKENS?
>> I DON'T EVEN MENTION THEM EXCEPT FOR IN THE TITLE.
THEY'RE NOT MENTIONED IN THE BOOK AT ALL.
WE WORKED OUT THE TITLE AND THEY SAID YOU HAVE TO THIS, YOU HAVE
TO BE CRAZY SO I SHOVED IN JAZZ CHICKEN.
THEY SAID YOU CAN DO THAT.
>> Stephen: EVERY SULT CULTURE IT'S SAID HAS JAZZ CHICKENS.
>> THEY COULD SAVE THE WORLD.
>> Stephen: YOU STARTED OUT AS A STREET PERFORMER.
WE HAVE THIS SHOT HERE.
>> I'M NOT SURE WHAT THE BACK SIDE IS DOING.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WRAPPED UP IN CHAINS.
IS THIS COFFENT GARDEN?
>> YAND FOR FOUR YEARS I WAS A STREET PERFORMER AND I USED TO
GO OUT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO DID NOT WANT TO SEE ME WHICH IS
THE HARDEST PERFORMING EVER.
PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: I'VE DONE IT MANY TIMES.
>> I'VE SENT TWO AUDIENCES WAY, DISMISSED-- WEREN'T GOOD ENOUGH,
WHICH WAS AMAZE AGO.
>> Stephen: IN THE THEATER?
>> NO.
IN THE STREET.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU SEND THEM AWAY IN THE STREET.
"I WANT YOU OUT OF THE CITY BY SUNDOWN."
>> WIFS MY PARTNER AT THE TIME AND WE WERE REALLY GIVING IT OUT
AND THE AUDIENCE WAS JUST, YEAH, YEAH.
AND AT A CERTAIN POINT I SAID,"YOU GUYS ARE JUST NOT GOOD
ENOUGH, AND WE'RE REALLY GIVING IT OUT HERE, AND THERE'S NO LOVE
COMING BACK SO YOU MAY AS WELL GO."
AND THEN THEY WOULDN'T GO.
AFTER THAT, THAT WAS TOO INTERESTING.
I MADE IT TOO DRAMATICALLY INTERESTING.
>> Stephen: DID THEY GET BETTER?
>> NO, THEY JUST STAYED.
BUT I -- >> Stephen: DID YOU MAKE GOOD
MONEY DOING THIS?
WHAT KIND OF CASH WOULD YOU MAKE?
>> VERY LITTLE MONEY.
>> Stephen: ENOUGH TO DRINK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
>> YEAH, PEOPLE WOULD THROW BITS OF BROKEN BOTTLES AT YOU AND
HELICOPTER PARTS.
ENOUGH.
SOME PEOPLE DID GOOD.
>> Stephen: WERE YOU EVER ON THE MOUND IN EDINBOROUGH?
>> YES, I DID THESE GREAT, LONG, IMPROVISED SHOWS WHICH WE GO ON
AND ON AND ON BECAUSE I CAN GO ON AND ON.
I DO TALK A LOT.
I'M RUNNING FOR A MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT IN FOUR YEARS' TIME.
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT I UNDERSTAND.
AFTER YEARS OF COMEDY-- WE'VE HAD SEVERAL
ENTERTAINER/CELEBRITY PRESIDENTS.
OBVIOUSLY WE HAD RAIG BE, OBVIOUSLY MR. TRUMP AT THIS
POINT.
WE HAVE AL FRANKEN WHO IS A SENATOR.
>> SENATOR AL FRANKEN I KNOW WELL.
AND HIS POLITICS AND STYLE I AM TRYING TO EMULATE.
HE TOOK A 233,000 MAJORITY LAST TIME HE WAS ELECTED.
>> Stephen: AL PRETTY MUCH DROPPED THE COMEDY IN THE SENATE
FAIR LONG-- HE JUST RECENTLY STARTED MAKING JOKES AGAIN.
>> COMEDY IS INTERESTING.
IT IS NOT A BUILDING TOOL.
IT TEARS DOWN POMPOSITY AND STUPIDITY IN CERTAIN PRESIDENT
S.
>> Stephen: THANK GOD.
>> THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
I LIKE BUILDING-- I CAME OUT AS TRANSGENDER THAT YEARS AGO.
I'VE NOW RUN OVER 18 MAR THORNGZ RAISED MONEY.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I'M DOING STAND-UP GIGS IN FOUR
LANGUAGES, GERMAN, FRENCH, AND SPANISH.
AND I'M TRYING TO BE A 21st CENTURY PERSON IN THE POSITIVE
INCLUSIVE-- WE'VE GOT TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD WORK THIS SEARCH
RICHE THE 21st CENTURY.
SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE -- >> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOU
GOING TO TRY TO GET A SEAT, A SEAT IN PARLIAMENT?
>> I'M NOT SURE WHERE.
WHEREVER WILL HAVE ME IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.
>> YOU CAN DO THAT THERE.
YOU HAVE TO LIVE WHERE YOU REPRESENT HERE?
>> I UNDERSTAND THAT.
BUT I HAVE PLAYED EVERYWHERE -- >> Stephen: SPEAK FOUR
LANGUAGES.
>> I'M GOING TO BEG THEM, "PLEASE, HAVE ME."
I AM A HARD WORKER.
>> Stephen: IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT OVER THERE PLEASE COME OVER
HERE.
WE COULD USE SOME GOOD PEOPLE "BELIEVE ME, A MEMOIR OF LOVE,
DEATH, AND JAZZ CHICKENS" IS OUT TODAY.
EDDIE IZZARD, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY NICK CAVE AND THE
BAD SEEDS.