Hey Everyone. So, I just thought I'd use this opportunity to talk a little bit about an Issue that affects many
people, or at least many vegans, and it's the issue of how to deal with
friends and family who aren't going to go vegan or you've tried to talk to about veganism and simply
won't listen or kind of don't understand why
you've made the choice to be vegan. And I think this Is an Issue that affects so many vegans affects so many Young People and
one of the most difficult messages I receive from people. I always find quite hard to respond to Is
teenagers Who live at Home and They Say you know
I want to go vegan I've Connected with the ethics of veganism but my Family
Won't Let me. Or I
Get A message from People Saying I've Gone Vegan but it's Really difficult for me When I go out and I socialize with my friends
Because None of Them are vegan and They Mock my veganism and They Kind of Made me Feel very Uncomfortable
And This isn't an Easy Subject at all it is very difficult
And I think The first Thing to kind of Try and do Is to help them understand why
You've Gone vegan so
Maybe send Them
Documentaries That Inspired you to go vegan so Maybe Cowspiracy what the health or Earthlings Land of Hope and Glory Whatever it Is
Try and Encourage Them to Watch the Same
Documentaries so at least they get the same insight that you Had that Initially Inspired you to go vegan
And Actually even if You can't get Them to Watch full-Length Documentaries Maybe Just try
YouTube Videos and I know on YouTube There's A 15-Minute cut of Cowspiracy and A 15-minute cut of Forks over Knives
So maybe they, don't want to Watch the whole Documentary or you Struggle to get them To watch the whole Documentary try
Sending them Those Smaller Versions it might Seem More Manageable for them
And if They don't do that to try, YouTube Videos There's some Really great
Resources That Are Only About 4 5 6 minutes Long you could, also try
Sending them Articles Or Resources Anything Really that Just Inspired you Or kind of got you Curious about veganism in The first Place Try
Sending that to them and See if they'll Watch it. if They
Won't then it Becomes A lot more difficult?
I think it's really
Frustrating Because you know as you know A friend Or a family
you Know A loved One Basically you Would think that These People that you kind of you know have in your Daily life
Would want To Understand why You've Made Such A big Decision and it Seems like such a small thing to ask Them to Watch something
That's you know Maybe only ten Minutes long Maybe even only 19 Minutes Long and if They Refuse to do that it can be Really
Frustrating Because You Just Think that they'd want to Take an active Interest in Understanding why, You've Made that Decision to change
Something that's Always Confused me Because my family aren't vegan
My Friends I kind of... are all vegan now, but my Family's Still aren't vegan and
I know I bought, I bought my mom and my Stepdad Forks Over Knives Nearly two years Ago to Watch to kind
Of Give Them a little bit more Information about why
I'Ve Made that Choice and I thought the health Would be a really good way of Kind of Making it Seem
Accessible to them but not Seem too
Daunting But Nearly Two years later They've Still not Watched it and I can't Quite get my head Around why
They Haven't in Two years been able to put aside 90 minutes Just to try and Understand my point of view
And it Just Seems so strange to me that you know These People who I lived With for 18 Years
Wouldn't be Interested in Understanding why
I made such a fundamental Change in my life and I think one of the issues with Parents and why
They Probably Are Less Receptive to Change is because when, we go vegan
Were Almost Saying to our Parents that the Way They've Raised us for however Long Is
Wrong and Immoral and We don't agree With it and we're Kind of
Indirectly Saying That They've Been Bad Parents Now We Obviously, don't think that They've Been bad Parents
We understand That our Parents have done what they thought
Was best for Us and They Think that you know feeding us meat Dairy and eggs Is kind of what We needed you know to?
Be healthy to Grow Up and you know and be Strong and Kind of
Not Have Any Deficiencies Or Problems and it's not Necessarily Their fault that They've Done that but When
We turn Around Say we've Gone Vegan Because of you know ethical Reasons or moral Reasons?
We're Saying to them that what you've Done the way you've Raised us is Inherently Wrong and Inherently Immoral I think that's Quite Hard to digest
Understandably For A parent and Maybe
Give in Time to Watch 90 Minutes Or even Just Gonna Have an Open Mind and Amusing the idea you know
of why their Child has gone vegan and Could might Be Almost in Acceptance or an Acknowledgement that what They've Done Is wrong and
They, don't want to do that and I Can Understand that even Though it's Really Frustrating With the Friends it's a little bit More difficult
Because Obviously you know
Again it's that Indirect Response of Saying They're doing something Wrong or doing something Immoral and I think There's Just Kind of more of an
Environment with friends Where There's
Especially if You're Kind of the only One Who's made the change and You're in A group but it's kind of more of That Group
Mentality Where it's you you open Yourself Up to be mocked or Judged Or kind of?
You know Have the Make Taken out of you most importantly in Any of These Situations Wheather it's friends or Family the
Education Is so key Because you'll always get Asked a lot of Questions and you'll always have them trying to Debunk or rebuke
Why you're vegan and all the Philosophies Behind veganism so if you're Struggling to kind of you know
Advocate for veganism
Effectively Then
Research as much as you Possibly can so that when you're Having that you know Family Dinner Or when you're Having a family Meal Around
your friend's House or Whatever and the
Questions of The Comments Are Said You Have a logical and Rational Response to them that Makes Veganism Seem Reasonable
I think one of the challenges that
We have as vegans is to Make it Seem normal and not Make it Seem like an extreme and the best way to do that
Is just making it Seem Entirely rational
So do your Research do as much as you Possibly Can to learn all the Different Arguments against veganism and Learn About all the Different
Responses to Those Arguments so That When you're in Those Conversations
Even Though They might Make you uncomfortable you Can use them as an Opportunity to Maybe
Educate and Discuss veganism you Know I strongly believe that A
Conversation and Discussion Is the Strongest tool that We have as vegans in
Presenting our Ideas or Presenting the Philosophy of veganism so you use Those Opportunities to your advantage Maybe in the past Those Those
Environments We've Had Discussions Have led To arguments and Have Led to making you Feel Worse so maybe Re-evaluate why
They've Turned Into Arguments Is it because you felt overly Defensive and Understandably so and if that is the case
What Can you do in Future to maybe Reduce that Defensiveness?
And i think the key way of doing that is making sure You have the Knowledge Because
One of the easiest Things to, do when someone Says something
We don't Understand it's just to get Angry and Frustrated about it so if you Can have a rational Response you can
Eliminate That frustration, that anger Because if Someone Says something Like Food Chain Circle of Life
We're Omnivores you've got a succinct Response Already in your mind that you Can Just Utilize at the Appropriate Opportunity
No Unfortunately I have not always had the Success I think
The fact that I Didn't go vegan I was at
Home has Worked to my advantage Because I've Avoided Those Situations but it also means I've Never Really
Had That Kind of sit-Down Conversation all Those moments Where the Conversations Could have you know Could have occured
Because you know I don't visit home so often I think when the Reasons I don't visit home Is
Because I don't want to be Around animal Products
I don't wanna be Around People eating Them I don't want to be Around These uncomfortable Situations that will Make me Feel Uneasy
And that's Maybe Selfish of me Because
It'd be A good Opportunity to Discuss veganism but at the same Time it is challenging and I think
That's One of the Reasons I find it so challenging Is for Instance
Early June This Year my mom Came to london to visit me We spent the day Together and We had had a fantastic day
We ate in an all vegan Restaurant and my mum loved the food she thought it was Delicious and it was delicious it was Fantastic food
and I knew that she'd like it and and We were Sat Down on a bench in a park and we were chatting and and
One of the things that
We were chatting About was veganism my mom Saying She wasn't sure what She was Gonna eat while she was in London with me so basically my Stepdad
Had Packed her a Ham Sandwich and
Basically She Said To me
Oh your
Stepdad Said I Should get it out and eat in Front of you and I thought you know
That Really upset Me and Understandably So. This Is a family Member who you know
I spent the Majority of my life With
Saying to my mum that she Should get out A ham Sandwich and Eat in Front of me Because he Knows that Would upset me
and
You know and it and that is Really difficult to Process
Because These Are The People you're Supposed to Maybe have the you know the Best Connection with
and whose supposed to be the Most Understanding in Your Life and Yet in This Situation you Know They're The People that Are Kind of like
Actively Trying to upset Me and Actively Mock my views and my values and
That's A really Hard Thing to Process and I think it kind of Summarized Quite Perfectly why
I just can't go home
Because if There's that's the sort of Thing that He'll Say to me when he's not even.. or that he Would like my mum to
Do to me when he's not There imagine if I did Go home Imagine if I was in his House
Surrounded by his Animal Products and Surrounded
By a man who has the mindset that he Should be able to mock my veganism
How Would I possibly be able to cope with that how Would you know it is Challenging and?
I'm Fortunate in the sense that I don't have to ever put Myself in That Situation
But it Breaks my heart When I read in A message from people you know Teenagers People at
Home Can't leave if you
Don't have the Option to to go somewhere Else and Be independent currently and
They're in A similar situation where Maybe one of Their Family Members Is mocking them or doing something that Goes Beyond Mocking and is Just
Disrespectful and Insulting and you know and you know and Eating an alnimal Product
Purposefully in Front of them that's not Just mocking them that is A very
Aggressive Act but What we've got to Remember and it's so important to remember this Is that These Reactions are A defense
Mechanism and it's A defense Mechanism because Subconsciously they know that you know Eating animals and Killing animals Is
Unnecessary, is Immoral and by us living That Lifestyle and being vegan and Now I've Been vegan for Two and a half Years and I've Had
No health ProbleMs in fact I feel better than
Ever I've A lot more Energy Than ever that is sending a Clear message to them that what They're doing Is
Unnecessary and Then When
Were Causing unnecessary Harm to Others it Could Never be Morally Justified
So my Stepdad knows This and that's A defense Mechanism to kind of that
Subconscious Kind of Feeling That He's getting from me Being vegan and
he has type 2 Diabetes he's Been Diagnosed With Type 2 Diabetes
Which Is one of the Reasons why I bought Forks over knives and it just Shows how
Adamant People Are and How Stuck in Their Ways People Are and How
Defiant People Are in Their Beliefs and in Their Ways of life and One of the big issues With the Family I think Is that
You know our Parents are older than
We are and it means that they've Had longer to kind of Have that
Conditioning and Have That Indoctrination and
It's Probably Therefore Harder for Them to maybe get over it now this Is this isn't really A
Great Argument Because you know There are so Many you know People you know in Their Eighties Even who are going vegan and Feeling the
Benefits of Going vegan so it's not Really A
Justifiable Argument But There Is something to be Said about the fact that A lot of our Parents you know will have gone Through A
Longer Period of Being Conditioned and Essentially Feels so much more Attached to Those values and I think it's Really scary
To Maybe Be in your Fifties or sixties Or seventies or however Old you are and
To Turn Around and Think Maybe I've Been Doing something for This Long
That isn't right and then There Comes the whole kind of like you know Feeling Guilty but
Also being Angry that You've Been Lied to and I think Kind of
Opening That Kind of you know Those blinders a little bit and Kind of Seeing the alternative you know way of life is very
Scary for our Parents and That's Probably one of the Reasons why
They Get defensive but it is important to understand These Arguments That occur with our Friends and Family
are done so out of A defense Mechanism and as so... it
Reinforces again Why it's so important for Us to just be rational and Logical and Calm
Because you know the calmer
We are in our responses the more Kind of Erratic they Appear and
They'll Be able to Self Reflect on That and They'll be able to understand that and even Though in That moment you know you
Become and Providing Logical Responses
May Just Make Them even More Angry and Make them More
Frustrated in The Long run that's the most productive Thing to do because When That Conversation ends and you Both go about your Days
It will play on Their mind A lot and the more it Plays in the mind the more They will start to think About it
and Analyze it and digest what you've Said an Over a period of Time I promise you that will bring about Change you know you know I
Say That.. hear these, You know These Really upsetting Stories but I
Also Say These should be Uplifting Stories When I get messages from People who Said Look my friends and my Family were adamant they'd Never
Go Vegan and I used to have so Many arguments with my mother my dad or my brother my sister Whoever
Have so Many arguments with Them but
Over Time They start To Understand They start To Listen and Now They're vegan and that's a message i get a lot as
Well Another Thing that Just Adds hope to hope to me and Hope to Anyone Else Is in my Position you know the longer
We are vegan and the more We talk about it the you know the more Progress
We will Make and Progress Is
Inevitable if We stop if we Continue
Using our Voices and Speaking on Behalf of the animals spring from Hardships and Difficulties in your Friendship Dynamic your Family Dynamic
Remember You are not Alone and you have A Huge Community who is willing to support you and will Help you as much as
They Possibly
Can so i hope you've Enjoyed this Video and I've Tried to Make it a little bit more informal so if you Enjoyed this kind
of like informal sit-Down Chat then then Let me Know in the Comments Below but
Also give This Video A thumbs Up and I think it know it's Really Important now if You have like any
Concerns and You're in A situation I've Described you're Having Problems with friends or Family
Then Drop A Comment Below and Let's Use this Comment Section now to kind of Create
you Know A kind of Community Where
We Can kind of chat to One Another and We Can Help each other out and I think it's Really Important that
We do Look out for now and We offer each your advice so if you have any Problems then drop a comment Down Below and
and you know and I applaud People you understand the Situation to Responding and Create a Dialogue Where
We Can kind of Help One Another and Provide Guidance Advice I hope that this Video has been You know
Insightful and Maybe you know Provided you know some Relatable Thoughts That Maybe you've Felt Isolated With
And a want you to know you aren't alone so thank you again so much for Watching and I'll see the next Video