- I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN TWO YEARS.
- HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG?
- SINCE YOU'VE BEEN ON THE SHOW. - A LOT HAS CHANGED...
- BOY, A LOT HAS CHANGED. - IN TWO YEARS.
- I KNOW. LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, I WAS RENEWING YOUR VOWS.
YOU REMEMBER THAT?
- [laughs] YES, I DO.
- YEAH, SO NOW YOU HAVE A BABY. - YEAH.
[laughs]
- CAN WE JUST SHOW A PICTURE OF THAT PRECIOUS BABY?
[audience ohs]
- AW, I WAS TRYING TO BRING SOME NEW PHOTOS FOR YOU,
AND THEY'RE ON MY PHONE,
AND I WAS TRYING TO SEND THEM TO YOUR PRODUCER
TO GET YOU SOME NEW PHOTOS OF HER, SO--
- 'CAUSE HOW OLD ARE THOSE, LIKE, A MONTH OLD?
'CAUSE THEY CHANGE EVERY DAY, RIGHT?
- SHE CHANGES ALL THE TIME.
YOU KNOW, ONE DAY SHE'LL LOOK LIKE KANYE.
ONE DAY SHE'LL LOOK LIKE ME. - MM-HMM.
- IT'S SO CRAZY.
AND HER PERSONALITY IS SO CUTE.
SHE IS REALLY CALM AND REALLY QUIET.
- YOU'RE LUCKY.
- I KNOW. I'VE BEEN TOLD.
I'VE BEEN TOLD THAT IT'S--
- HOW OLD IS SHE NOW? I'M SORRY.
- SHE'S SEVEN MONTHS YESTERDAY.
- WOW.
NOW, HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED A CHILD?
- I ALWAYS WANTED ABOUT SIX.
- REALLY?
- AFTER HAVING HER, I WOULD HAVE A MILLION,
BUT I WOULD--THE PREGNANCY,
I WOULDN'T REALLY WISH THAT UPON ANYONE.
- WELL-- - ANYONE.
- THEN YOU CAN ADOPT.
- I MEAN, I WOULD GO-- IT'S ALL WORTH IT IN THE END,
SO I WOULD DEFINITELY SUFFER THROUGH THAT,
BUT PREGNANCY WAS NOT A GOOD EXPERIENCE FOR ME.
- YEAH.
- I CAN'T--YOU KNOW, WOMEN WHO SAY
THAT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL THING--
- THEY ARE LYING. - YEAH.
- THEY ARE LYING TO YOU.
I'M TELLING YOU. - I THINK SO.
- KOURTNEY SAID THAT.
MY MOM SAID THAT.
I WAS LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH, AND I LOOKED AT MY MOM,
AND I SAID, "I'M GOING TO GET YOU A MEDAL.
LIKE, "YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING FOR WHAT"--
AND MY LABOR WAS EASY.
BUT JUST THE WHOLE PREGNANCY WAS SO--
I HAD, YOU KNOW, A FEW MEDICAL ISSUES,
SO IT WAS REALLY TOUGH, AND I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT,
BUT IT WAS JUST-- THEY ARE ALL LYING TO YOU
IF ANYONE SAYS IT'S EASY.
- WHAT IS THE WORST PART ABOUT IT?
I MEAN, OTHER THAN FEELING LIKE
THERE'S AN ALIEN INSIDE OF YOUR BODY.
THAT, TO ME, WOULD FEEL LIKE--
PEOPLE ARE LIKE, "OH, IT JUST KICKED."
I'D BE LIKE, "AH!"
- YEAH. [laughs]
IT'S JUST--YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S A REAL HEAD TRIP
TO TRY AND--
YOU KNOW, YOUR BODY IS GOING THROUGH SO MANY CHANGES
THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN,
AND I REMEMBER KOURTNEY GAVE ME
"WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING,"
AND I SAT THERE IN BED READING IT HYSTERICALLY CRYING.
AND I'M LIKE, "YOU MADE IT SO MUCH WORSE."
LIKE, "I'M GIVING THIS BACK TO YOU.
I HOPE NONE OF THESE CHANGES HAPPEN TO ME."
AND IT WAS JUST--IT WAS REALLY HARD MENTALLY ON ME, I THINK.
AND WITH A FEW, LIKE, PHYSICAL PROBLEMS
THAT I WAS GOING THROUGH,
IT WAS JUST HARD BEING IN AND OUT OF THE DOCTOR'S
AND THE HOSPITAL AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
- AND THEN YOU'RE GETTING HOUNDED CONSTANTLY BY PAPARAZZI,
SO THAT'S NOT EASY.
IF YOUR HORMONES ARE GOING CRAZY ANYWAY,
AND THEN YOU'VE GOT-- YOUR LIFE IS A WHIRLWIND.
- I WAS ACTUALLY REALLY CALM.
MY HORMONES WEREN'T REALLY GOING CRAZY.
WELL, I DON'T THINK.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK, LIKE, KANYE OR SOMEONE, BUT--
- YEAH.
- I THINK I WAS PRETTY CALM.
I JUST--I THINK WITH ALL OF THE MEDICAL ISSUES--
I HAD PREECLAMPSIA.
THAT WAS REALLY TOUGH.
SO--
- I DON'T KNOW PREECLAMPSIA.
I DON'T KNOW--
- IT IS JUST A CONDITION THAT YOU GET WHEN YOU'RE PREGNANT
THAT, IT COULD BE PRETTY HARMFUL FOR THE MOM,
SO I HAD TO DELIVER EARLY.
BUT I WOULDN'T TAKE ANY OF IT BACK,
BECAUSE I HAVE THE MOST ADORABLE,
SWEETEST BABY IN THE WORLD.
- SHE'S PRECIOUS.
AND IS KANYE A HANDS-ON DAD?
IS HE A GOOD DAD?
- HE IS, HONESTLY, THE MOST AMAZING DAD.
HE LOVES HER SO MUCH.
HE JUST LEFT TO GO OUT OF TOWN,
SO I SEND HIM A PICTURE AND VIDEO EVERY DAY,
AND HE'S LIKE, "SHE GREW UP SO MUCH."
- AND I'M LIKE, "BABE, IT'S BEEN ONE DAY.
"YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN A DAY.
NOT A LOT HAS CHANGED."
BUT HE REALLY IS A HANDS-ON DAD.
HE--
- DIAPERS?
- HE'S NOT A DIAPER KIND OF GUY. AND THAT'S OKAY.
- NO, I DON'T MEAN, DOES HE WEAR THEM.
I MEAN, DOES HE-- DOES HE CHANGE THEM?
- NO, HE'S NOT A DIAPER CHANGING KIND OF GUY.
- NO? - BUT HE WOULD.
YOU KNOW, IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY, HE WILL.
BUT I LOVE THAT TIME.
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT I LOVE MY TIME WITH HER
WHEN SHE'S ON THE CHANGING TABLE.
SHE TRIES TO TALK SO MUCH,
AND I REALLY ENJOY THAT BONDING TIME WHEN I'M WITH HER.
- THAT'S JUST-- I MEAN, I JUST--OH.
- THAT'S A NEW THING.
- IS THAT ONE OF THE NEW ONES? DID THEY GET ONE?
- THAT WAS-- WE WERE IN UTAH SKIING,
AND WE WERE IN THIS INTENSE MONOPOLY GAME,
AND SHE JUST WANTED TO SIT AND WATCH THE GAME WITH US.
SO I GAVE--LIKE, HE WAS GIVING HER A LITTLE PIGGYBACK RIDE.
- YOU'RE SO LUCKY THAT WHEN YOU SAY SHE'S GOOD AND SHE'S QUIET--
SO SHE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT AND STUFF LIKE THAT?
- SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT.
SO THIS WAS HER YESTERDAY.
I WAS TRYING SOME BOWS ON TO SEND HIM A PICTURE OF HER,
'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T WEAR A LOT OF BOWS,
AND MY NIECE, PENELOPE, WEARS SO MANY HEADBANDS,
SO I WAS TRYING ALL THESE BOWS ON HER,
AND SHE REALLY LIKED THEM,
SO I THINK SHE'S GONNA START WEARING SOME BOWS.
- SHE IS ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS.
ANYWAY, WE'LL TAKE A BREAK,
AND MORE WITH KIM AFTER THIS.
[cheers and applause]