Transcriber: Trúc anh Huỳnh Reviewer: Annet Johnson
Never take no for an answer because, as Benjamin Franklin said,
“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
Today, I’m going to tell you a story about
how I learned never to take no for an answer.
When I was seven years old,
I was watching a documentary on facial reconstruction.
It was incredible.
I was in awe of the difference of the man’s face.
I found out that this profession was called oral and maxillofacial surgery.
For those of you who don’t know, oral and maxillofacial surgery
treats diseases of the head and neck, face and jaw.
It is very unique because it actually needs
[audio gap]
in medicine and dentistry.
This was the moment I decided that this was what I was going to do
for the rest of my life.
No answers required.
So skip forward 10 years and I decided to tell this career guidance counselor,
“Yes, I’m going to be an oral and maxillofacial surgeon.”
I was so proud because she was the first person in my life who I told this to.
“Ready, set ... ”
She then stops me and says,
“Wait a minute, doesn’t that require medicine and dentistry?”
I said, “Yes, I’m going to do medicine, then dentistry.”
She then said, “Wait, doesn’t that require children?”
I said, “Yes, I want to have three kids.”
Have you ever had that moment when someone laughs at you hysterically?
I have and trust me, it hurts.
So skip forward, I got my place in medicine, but I failed getting my grades.
So I was like, “You know what, don’t worry.
Fine, there’s lots of ways into medicine.”
I decide to do a degree in Bachelor of Sciences
and get into medicine that way.
So I carried on and then I thought,
“You know what? This is fine, it’s fine.”
But then suddenly my mom stopped me and said in her Asian voice,
“Syeda, medicine is not meant for you.
It is not family friendly, apply to other specialties.”
So I said, “Okay, fine.“
I went for dentistry.
But the problem was that it felt like my dream was ending.
But it was fine, I carried on.
Went to a careers fair because my friends were like,
“Look, it’s great, just help us.”
So I went and there I met the doctor who changed my life.
So out of the blue, the lady speaker turns around and says that
the next speaker would be someone who had done medicine and dentistry.
In other words, guys, a “MaxFax” trainee, my first ever encounter.
I was so in awe of him and I told him how much I love the profession
and this is what I wanted to do.
And then he smiled and said, “Oh, okay, so you’re going to be joining us?”
And I said, “No, dentistry is over.
I am no longer going to do that.
MaxFax is not in my cards anymore.”
And he stopped me and said,
“Wait, don’t you realize it’s actually better to do dentistry first?”
He then explained that a lot of the people who have done medicine first
had really struggled with the “on calls” and all the work,
so they said it’s much easier doing the dentistry first.
But then I stopped and I said, “Wait, I’m a woman, I want kids.
That’s not compatible with surgery.”
Because that’s what that career counselor had made me believe.
And he said, “No, listen.
Medicine is a lifelong career.
It is an act of dedication and medicine is changing,
surgery is changing, the world is changing,
and women can have both.”
So skip forward, I went for dental school.
And then another problem that I hadn’t even thought of
came into the world when suddenly the guys in my course started saying,
“You want to do medicine?
Who will marry you?
Who’s even going to support this dream?
When will you have kids?”
Have you ever had that feeling
when you feel like the demands of culture and society
are the things that you feel might stop you from pursuing your dream,
things that you never even thought would ever be an issue?
So skip forward and I was like,
“I’m going to be single for the rest of my life.
This is how it is.
I’ll get a tan cat.”
Then if you fast forward a bit,
a few months later, I met my now-husband at a good friend’s wedding.
You see, he was in finance.
So he turned around and said,
“You’re a dentist, I’m in finance.
We’re going to be rich.”
And I was like,
“I think I should tell you the truth that I’m going to be a broke student.”
So I told him and I received a look I had never received in my life.
It was a look of admiration.
He turned around and told me that I will support you no matter what
and this goal was awesome.
So ready to start, ready to go for it.
I knew this is what I wanted to do.
So I started applying to hospital jobs and failing again, hearing the word no.
But, you know, the problem is ...
So I decided, “Okay, fine, let me try general dentistry.”
People have said it was family friendly and I was expecting my daughter.
I’ll go for it.
But you know why you should not take no for an answer?
Because if you do, you will end up doing something that you don’t love.
And trust me, when you don't do something you love,
you will never be good at it.
It’s a fact.
So then, fast forward, I did not take no for that answer
I decided I’m going to carry on applying
and eventually I got a job as a MaxFax doctor.
But, as many of you know, hospitals run late
and I had to leave to pick up my one-year-old daughter early.
And the problem was that -
Everyone else was supportive,
but there was one male colleague who told me I will never get into medicine,
I will never make it as a MaxFax surgeon,
and I was wrong to pursue this because women cannot have both.
Do you know what the problem with the negative thoughts is?
When you hear a million positive ones,
one negative one will weigh more on you than anything else.
So then I started building up my experience, carrying on,
going to different hospitals.
And then I found the break that I wanted.
I got the hospital in London that had a teaching medical school next to it.
It was all linked together and I was ready to start, perfect.
It was a state medical school I’d been applying to since graduation.
This was like the dream come true, finally.
Then a few weeks in, I found out I was pregnant with my son
and I was so worried.
I was like, “Oh, God, how am I going to explain this?”
But my bosses were great, they really were supportive.
And they told me, “Don’t worry, it’s okay.
Come back stronger, don’t worry about anything.”
But the issue was that I was like, “Okay, you know what?
Still feeling a bit nervous and a bit worried.”
But it’s okay, I was ready.
Went on maternity leave.
And two weeks after my son was born,
my husband loses his job in London and finds another one in Riyadh.
So all these dreams that I had worked so hard for, all stopping again.
So then I said, “Okay, fine.“
Have you ever heard of something called a rocky moment?
It’s that point when rock carries on being punched and punched
and punched and then he says, “Enough.”
No is no longer an answer.
Failure is no longer an option.
So that’s why I decided I’d apply to medical schools in Saudi Arabia,
but there was a big problem.
I did not speak Arabic at the time and all the medical schools taught in Arabic.
I finally found one that spoke in English, taught in English,
and had an international reputation with accreditation all over.
And I applied and I got rejected ...
again.
So then I was like, fine, I’m not going to take no for an answer anymore.
The problem with this medical school was that the age limit was 25.
So this time, like I said, failure was no longer an option for me.
So I went to the dean of the medical school,
the Vice Dean, the Head of Admissions, and, yes, even the Minister of Education.
I went to all of them.
And I think they all thought I was crazy because I was a dentist from the UK,
a mother with kids.
Why?
What was I doing coming to Saudi to study?
But I told them, “Look, just give me a chance.”
So eventually they agreed to interview me.
And I told them what that doctor, who had changed my life all those years ago,
had told me: that medicine is lifelong.
It is an act of dedication.
Women can do surgery and have children.
I do not have to choose.
But trust me, let me be a medical student
because I will give you more commitment than anyone else combined.
I am now halfway through medical school.
Why do I tell you this story?
Because at least once in your life, all of you will hear the word no.
But it is up to you to choose,
which “no’s” you accept and which “no’s” you don’t.
You are all born for a purpose, and God willing, you will achieve it,
I promise you.
The thing is, we are always told as women, “You’re a mother, don’t have a career.
You’re a career woman, don’t have children.
How can you do that to kids?”
They were wrong.
You choose what you do with your life, no one else.
And what I’ll tell you about negative thoughts,
do three things in life when you hear them:
“Control, alt, delete.”
It’s also used for computers, but you know this is good for this.
Control your mind,
alter your thoughts,
and delete the negativity.
Winston Churchill once said,
“Never take no for an answer and never submit to failure.”
Because, trust me, your future self will thank you for pursuing,
when everybody else around told you,
not to accept that “no” for an answer.
So please don’t, trust me.
It is worth it.
Thank you.
(Applause)