Heya playa, have you ever been in a situation where you were dating someone, you guys broke
up and now they're dating someone else? Those feelings you're going through can kind of
stink so I wanna walk you through 5 things you should be doing to handle those feelings
so you can be prepared to be around your ex every single time they're with their new boyfriend
or girlfriend. This is The Josh Speaks. You're watching The Josh Speaks. For those of you
that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week I make videos sharing tips, ideas,
and stories teaching you how to be your best self. Now, seeing your ex with their new partner
can bring up a whole range of different feelings: Jealousy, insecurity, doubt, self-loathing.
A lot of those things are rooted in the fact that you are no longer together but yet somehow
they've been able to move on. And if you have any of those feelings, the first thing you
need to stop doing is comparing yourself to their new partner. Look, you got with your
ex for very different reasons than they did so by comparing yourself you're really just
not taking the full account of your story and their story into consideration. It's easy
to sit there and say wow that person is cooler and funnier and smarter and more popular than
me but you have to remember that you and your ex were in a very different place. You both
had similar goals and outlooks on life when you got together and now that you're no longer
together, your ex's goals might change and that person just might better align with them.
So, comparing yourself to them is not really being fair to yourself here. And while you're
trying to combat those feelings, the second thing you should be doing is using this time
to evaluate that previous relationship. Why did the two of you break up? Why didn't things
work out? What could you do differently the next time you enter a new relationship and
what did you really learn from the last one? Some people look at breakups or past relationships
as things they never even wanna touch or think about but I think it's important to understand
what you didn't receive in that relationship and what you did receive. That way when you
see your ex with this new person you can realize that hey, the way they were in our relationship
is not something I want to bring into my next one and hopefully they can work on the traits
and characteristics that weren't helpful in our relationship with their new partner. Ideally,
you're wishing them the best going forward and you're really just focusing on your own
growth and improvement. I think that's a really healthy path for you to take rather than you
sitting there being angry and bitter about that previous person. Be willing to let that
anger go by learning from past mistakes. What do you do though if you're ok with them being
together but it's just not something you want to see in your face all the time? Every single
time you open up Instagram, boom, there they are., Well, you're gonna have to take this
step if that's something that bothers you and that's to block your ex on social media.
Now blocking someone has the potential to lead to a bit of drama. People might start
wondering "Wow, you can't handle seeing them together?" and the truth is, it's not a matter
of can't handle. It's a matter of don't want to. So, if you don't want to block them than
just mute their posts. Either way, you want to get them out of your news feed and you
don't want to be stalking their profiles. This is something a lot of people do with
their ex's. Every so often, you might want to check your ex's page just to see what's
going on in their life and when you come across a picture of them being all lovey-dovey with
their partner it might make you feel bad. It might make you feel hurt. It might make
you feel like you regret that decision but you keep feeling pulled into wanting to check
their profile. So, don't be shy. Hit the block button and if you're not ok with blocking
them then at least mute their posts so you don't see it in your news feed. Now some of
you may want to stay friends with your ex. Maybe you're in the same friend group or you're
in the same class together so seeing your ex with their new person is gonna be something
you're going to consistently run into so what can you do? Well, realize that a real friendship
might not be possible if you're always gonna get jealous and angry at the fact that you
see them with someone else. That means, you gotta set some boundaries for yourself. And
one of those boundaries might just be that whenever it's just the two of them alone,
you're not gonna be that third wheel. You're not gonna hang around them. Maybe you're only
going to be around them if there's a group of people so you can focus your attention
on others and have conversations that don't revolve around them. When you're in the same
friend group and you see them over in the corner kissing and hugging, it just gets under
your skin. I totally understand where you're coming from so setting those boundaries and
just deciding to go for a walk or not hang out with them that day or just spending your
time focusing on other people is going to be your solution. But I would say the most
important thing that you need to know when it comes to your ex dating someone else is
that you can't beat yourself up for still being single. Just because they've been able
to move on and find a partner doesn't mean you're any less loveable and not worthy of
being in a relationship. It's easy to feel that way if your ex found someone and just
quickly moved on. What you should really focus on doing is finding yourself a quality partner.
Someone you feel you can learn and grow with. Someone you feel enhances your best attributes
and qualities and is also working on being their best self. Trust me, that's going to
be a relationship worth building on. Not just putting someone there in that position as
your boyfriend or girlfriend to fill the void so you're no longer single and lonely. What
do you think though, if you were dating someone and you broke up and you saw them with someone
else do you think you'd be ok with it and be able to move on with your life or would
you keep thinking about that person and want to get back with them? Leave your comments
down below and we'll talk about it. I wanna give a huge shout out to all my patrons and
YouTube channel members. These are the people that help the channel grow so if you wanna
talk to me one on one every single month privately, check out the link to Patreon down below for
all those details. Next, what I want you to do is to check out the video over there on
the side where I'm going to go deeper into this topic of exes. Whether or not they cheated
on you and how to deal with that. Whether or not you should get back with them. There's
a lot of questions that arise when it comes to talking about your ex and I got you covered.
On that note guys, love and peace.