So today is my first day going to work as a doctor. I just
graduated medical school and now I'm starting residency. And
not only is it my first day,
where everything is so new and different and I'm like full of excitement and fear and maybe a bit of terror,
I don't know... But today I'm actually on call shift, which means I go to work for 26 hours and
I take care of patients on the ward. And I'm going down to the emergency department and
getting to assess and figure out what's wrong with patients and maybe bring them into hospital. So I guess my first day is
more than a day, which is a little bit daunting, a little bit terrifying as I said, but I'm really excited.
So I think I have everything that I need. I have
got stethoscope, my
trusty scrubs, which the best part of being on call, because it's like wearing pajamas. And
you don't have to do your laundry, because the hospital does it for you. That's pretty awesome.
But the one main thing I can't forget is a pager. And I wonder how many of you have actually seen one of these
lovely devices ever. I had never even seen one before med school I don't think. And
basically it's a really old system where you know, we're talking to someone and this
beeping sound will go off. And it means that someone
dialed that number and so all that pops up is a number. And
the good thing is if I'm talking to someone, they know that I have been paged, so I can kinda run off and take care of something.
Rather than when your phone is like vibrating and you
don't know how to end the conversation, to be like ''I need to take this'' So anyway, that's the best part about it. And
then... So you go and you call this number back and in the meantime the person who paged you is just waiting by the phone.
They are just waiting there until you're going to actually call them.
So yeah, it's a really old system. But that's what we use in the hospital still, which is very shocking and surprising.
That's one thing, when I started med school I had this idea that medicine would
be very high-tech. And maybe that's from all the TV
shows that you see and the advertisements you see. But honestly like it is not, it's not high-tech at all.
At some point I'll bring you. You can see the call rooms and the places we sleep and it's...
Yeah... It's a totally different thing. That being said, I love it and
it's a fantastic experience, but definitely not the high-tech one I thought it might be.
Anyways, so I think I'm ready to go.
I've got my name tag, which
says doctor on it. And that brings up a whole other question of what... How I introduce myself?
What do I actually call myself?
You know, I'm used to being like ''Hi, my name is Siobhan.''
But I don't know, I don't know if I should do that anymore, if I should say ''Hi, my name is Dr. Deshauer.''
But to be honest,
it doesn't feel right yet and it almost sounds pretentious, because it's my first day. I don't really want anyone to call me doctor yet,
even though I'm proud of it. But
it doesn't feel right yet. So I don't know, I'm thinking maybe like
''Hello, my name is
Dr. Deshauer, but you can call me Siobhan'' and just kind of see how that goes. So anyway, lots of questions, lots of things
to figure out.
And
yeah, so I will get back to you in
26 hours.
Hopefully I'll have a little bit of sleep, but I really think that's wishful thinking.
Okay, let's go!
So just walked in the door,
actually back from this crazy day and a little bit.
Made it through in one piece, still smiling, still excited, but I'll tell you: I am tired.
But it's a weird feeling, it's like all the adrenaline
is just pumping inside of you and I feel myself going and I don't feel like sleeping, but the outside of me just feels
exhausted right now. This strange sort of... I don't know, combination I think is going on in the body.
But it was an exhilarating night at times. And at times I was just like ''Okay, just
put one foot in front of the other and just move through and go and see the next person.''
But there were a lot of cool moments, like the first time I got to write an order down and
it actually went through. I didn't need to get it approved by anyone else, I got to make a decision and it went right in.
So kind of scary, but like
you know... I actually felt pretty good about it, I think that I was put in situations that I can actually handle, which is great.
But then sometimes I just felt like
so inefficient. You can just picture me in my scrubs and I have got my bag going across of me,
I have all these pagers, three different pagers lined up, waiting to beep. And they're heavy, so they are kind of
clunking everywhere when I'm walking. And then I'm trying to sling my bag to the side and
just kind of move efficiently. But of course I've forgotten something over there or
maybe I should see two patients over there. I'm always going back and forth and back and forth,
trying to like make it seem like I know what I'm doing, but the good part about that was I got a chance to
meet a bunch of the nurses and they got to know me and recognise me and you know...
It just felt like a bit of a team at a certain point,
which is nice not to feel like you're on your own, trying to figure this stuff out. So yeah, I think definitely
successful day!
Definitely long day. I think next time I'm gonna have to get my food a little bit closer to me. It was stored
upstairs and I was downstairs for most of the day, so it was really hard for me to even go off and get anything. So I
think I had
a confusing day for time.
Didn't have lunch until 4 p.m. and then I
Got some sleep from 4:30 a.m.
until 5:30 a.m. And now I kinda have this question of who am I? Where am I?
What's going on? But a night that I will never forget, that's for sure. So really exciting and I
wonder what I'll feel like on the next night You know,
Will it still feel like this? Will it be just as exciting?
You know, right now I feel like there's so much I still need to learn, so I still feel like a student.
I was starting to see there are certain things that I actually do know and that
I can kind of own and I can do it with confidence. So
it's a bit of a... It's a cool mix, but I feel like I had tons of support and
I really feel like there's a million people that I can call and so many
people watching my back. So I never felt like I was alone and I think that was my really big fear today. So
yeah, I feel lucky about that.
Anyway, I don't know if you can tell, but I feel exhausted.
I think all the adrenaline is coming off of now, so it's time for me to fall asleep.
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