Heya playa, have you ever been rejected before by someone you like? Then chances are you've
taken one of three different paths ways moving forward in dealing with those feelings. What
are those pathways? Well, I'm gonna explore what they are and tell you exactly what I
think the best way to handle rejection is. This is The Josh Speaks. You're watching The
Josh Speaks. For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self so if
you want to learn and grow, hit the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification
bell. Now getting rejected by someone you like is never a pleasant experience. It can
make you feel down on yourself, insecure, just flat out depressed. All these negative
emotions come rushing to the surface but how you choose to move forward as you process
those feelings is what's going to help you understand that experience so much more. A
lot of times the processing period catches us off guard, we think that we might get rejected,
we know sometimes that we will but yet it still hurts every single time it happens.
And how we move forward kind of is us just scrambling to try to figure out the best way
to cope. So the first way that people tend to cope with getting rejected is by deciding
that they still wanna remain friends with that person with the underlying hope that
maybe the person will change their mind or eventually like them back. Yes, what we're
talking about here is the friend zone. You like that person and they know that you like
them but they don't wanna be in a relationship with you. Now the reason why someone might
choose this as an option is simply because they don't want to lose that person from their
life. A lot of times when you're in the friend zone you can still interact with that person.
They still open up to you, you guys still talk to each other but there's no chance of
building anything romantic with them. And that's why being in the friend zone is such
a turbulent experience because you're not really being honest with that person. You
do want to build something with them and they know that too but you're both pretending like
you're just friends. Like there isn't a romantic attraction there and I think that ultimately
what you're setting yourself up for is more hurt. So if trying to just be friends when
you're in the friend zone is the path you choose to take, you need to know what you're
setting yourself up for. That person might talk to you about other people that they're
dating. They may talk to you about their romantic life and ultimately they might make you feel
more insecure and down on yourself because you know that you won't be with them the more
that they kind of pull away. Now the second path ends up being the complete flip side
of the first one here. When you get rejected, instead of remaining friends and talking to
them, you move on completely. You want nothing to do with them, you don't want to talk to
them, you're just gonna forget they exist entirely. And in some ways, that might sound
like the best option to take. This person didn't like you back? Goodbye, see you later!
But the challenging part of that mindset is that it really only works with people that
you probably won't ever see again so if you run into a random person on the street that
won't give you the time of day, that's it, you can move on from them. But, what if you're
asking out someone that goes to your school, or works at your job, or lives in your neighborhood?
Someone that you see more regularly. You can't just "peace, see ya later" them because you're
probably going to interact with them again at some point. I think sometimes when people
take this type of an approach, they're really just trying to shield themselves from getting
hurt. If they don't commit, if they don't invest enough in talking to that person, well
then they can't get hurt, right? It really is a binary choice of if they say yes or if
they say no. If they say yes, I keep moving forward. If they say no, that's it. They're
dust in the wind to me. So is that the best way to handle it? Just keep moving from person
to person until you come across someone that just says yes? I think that's a good goal
to take if you're not focused on developing anything long term. If you're just looking
to have a quick girlfriend or quick experience or to do something that really isn't emotionally
involved, well then yea, I guess that's the best approach. But I know a lot of you watching
don't look at rejection like it's just a coin flip. The person that you like that you probably
got rejected by is someone that you have deeper feelings for. Someone you do want to learn
more about, someone you do want to explore getting to know. And getting rejected by them
hurts, and it sucks, it's not something you can just pick up and walk away from. And that
leads to the third way that you can handle rejection and that is simply to put your feelings
and pursuit of them on hold to focus on growing yourself, becoming your best self, learning
new things, exploring new hobbies and then in the future if you come across them, if
you cross paths again: ask them out. The reason why I think that's the best approach to take
is that you're not allowing their rejection to define you. You recognize that there's
room for growth there. Maybe you can work on your conversation skills, or your body
language skills or you can work on your texting game. There are all these different avenues
for you to work on building as you take time towards being your best self. People are complicated
creatures. Their hobbies and their interests tend to change over time so as you work towards
being your best self, that person's probably also doing the same time. And where you guys
end up in the future might be a place where you guys are better suited for each other.
Now look, that doesn't guarantee that in the future that person is automatically gonna
say yes just because you work on yourself. Sometimes they just don't feel that way towards
you and that's ok. And another thing I don't want you to do is to kind of spend that time
while you're working on yourself thinking about getting back with them, waiting for
the opportunity to strike, waiting for that opportunity to ask them out again. In that
time that you have to put those feelings and pursuing them on hold if you truly want to
grow as a person. A lot of people tend to look at it like "oh, they rejected me? Ok.
I'm gonna go exercise and that's going to impress them. I'm gonna work on my flirting
skills and that's going to impress them." Basically, all this change I'm making is not
for me, it's for them. Look, rejection sucks but I don't think you should ever just count
yourself out simply because that person didn't want to date you where you are here and now.
I don't think you should spend the next few months or even a year waiting for them, hoping
for them, you should work on your own personal growth and recognize that in the future things
will be different and your chances with them will change. What do you think though, when
you're faced with rejection, which of these three paths do you tend to take? The friend
zone path, the forget them path or the future growth path? Leave your comments down below
and let me know. Rejection is such a complicated thing to deal with which is why I want you
to check out the video over there on the side where I talk more about dealing with rejection,
getting over those feelings and moving forward. I also want to give a huge shoutout to all
my patrons and YouTube channel members, these are the people that help the channel grow
and become what it is. Thank you guys for being part of this community. If you want
to learn more about how you can talk to me one on one every single month, check out the
link to Patreon over there on the side and also check out the rejection video I think
it'll be super super helpful for you. On that note guys, I'll catch you next time. As always,
love and peace.