For example, you're fucking a black guy, right?
He whips it out. Boom!
That's an exact representation
of what it looks like.
All right, someone take away my Netflix subscription!
Hi guys, I'm London Hughes
and I'm joined with my mom and my stepdad.
Hello from London!
We're going to watch some jokes
that I made about my mum
in my new Netflix special, "To Catch a D*ck"
and see how she reacts.
Are you ready to catch a dick, mum?
Sure!
Okay, do it!
Do it, do it, do it!
Let's talk about my mum. My mum's great.
She's awesome. She's gonna be watching this.
She's amazing, okay?
She's successful, married twice,
works really hard, is really smart.
Fucking ho! My mum's a ho!
No, someone take away my Netflix subscription.
My mum was a runner.
At 18, she did the trials for the Olympic Games.
The Olympic motherfucking Games.
It gets sad because at 18, unfortunately,
she caught a sudden case of dick.
A bit racy!
That's, like, literally the tamest part of the show.
That dick resulted in a pregnancy.
Not with me--I'm a blessing. With my brother.
And my grandma was so upset
that she got pregnant at 18
that she kicked her out the house.
Fucking hypocrite, babe.
She's just trying to be like you, hon!
Your ho-ness was hereditary.
Now I know!
Now I see why you didn't want us to see it.
Grandma's a ho!
Grandma'll be pleased, innit?
This is, is this--Is this normal to all of you guys?
'Cause this is not normal to me.
My full name is London Dionne Micha
Stacey Stephanie Estina Knibbs-Hughes.
I remixed it.
That's my full name, right?
After I came out, my parents were so happy that I was born,
that my mum thought that it would be a great idea
if every member of my family...
gave me a name.
Yeah, when you have a baby, you'll understand.
So, we were just trying to get the family involved.
My parents called me London
'cause I'm from London and they're not that creative.
And then I have Dionne.
Dionne! Dionne! Celine Dion! Dionne Warwick! Dionne!
Soulful! Dionne, Dionne!
Thank you, that's from my grandma.
My brother Joel.
My brother Joel named me Stacey
after the chick he used to fancy in kindergarten class!
Called Stacey Hughes.
My brother, at five years old, named his only sister
after some bitch he used to eat glitter with!
When Joel said he was going to name me after
Stacey Hughes from his class, did you know that?
We didn't know that. That came out afterwards.
We didn't know.
We just asked each person for a name and that was it.
I think that was a good idea. It was a good idea.
Clearly, it was funny enough
to make it into my Netflix special.
So, thank you so much!
This is the myth.
Oh, my God.
Black guys do not have bigger dicks than white guys.
It is not true, white guys.
You've been lied to. Society has lied to you!
It's not true.
Black guys just have bigger default dicks.
The topic is not the normal thing
that you'd hear people talking about.
So, it takes a bit of time, innit? To get in tune.
Okay, I don't want you to get in tune.
She's a standup comedian.
I know, no.
But you've gotta remember howold we are,
as well, you know.
It's not something that we're accustomed--
Like once upon a time, we wouldn't even talk about sex.
No, we wouldn't and we still don't want to!
For example, you're fucking a black guy, right?
He whips it out. Boom!
That's an exact representation of what
it looks like, okay?
Boom, okay?
But then when it gets horny, it doesn't get bigger.
It just goes up.
That's it. It just goes up.
It doesn't really get bigger.
Just goes up.
Whereas white dudes will whip out some shit
and you're like, "What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?"
But you give that shit a bit of love
and that shit starts to grow into something magical!
And I always feel so proud. I'm like, "I did that!
I made that shit grow.
I'm a farmer."
Is that one finished?
No, that's enough!
Are you sure?
- No, we want to see. We want to see what's grown.
- The end of the last one, at least.
- We want to see the reaping.
I've survived!
Is it embarrassing?
It's so embarrassing.
I go on stage and I can tell strangers whatever.
Me knowing that you've seen it is one thing
but me watching you watch it
is a whole different thing.
And that's what's embarrassing.
Am I still in the will?
We've made our will already.
We won't change it.
I love you guys.
I miss you.
- Same here, same here.
- And thank you for being so lovely.
Watch my daughter, London Hughes'
new Netflix special "To Catch a D*ck"
now streaming on Netflix.
You might just learn something.
Who do you think you are? A superstar?