INFJs are one of the eight introverted Myers-Briggs personality types. They make up less
than 3% of the population as a whole, with INFJ men making up less than 1% of that number. The
INFJ male personality type is therefore considered one of the rarest gender/type combinations.
INFJ men can appear very enigmatic and paradoxical.
They have rich internal worlds and a unique way of interacting and responding to the things around
them. Quietly confident and reserved... until they aren’t. This is intentional.
They have brilliant minds and when they speak it's generally only with thought and wisdom.
They keep to themselves most of the time but when they choose to be around people
they are very present. They can appear quite intense to most people who don’t know them.
However, if they share their thoughts and feelings, you quickly learn that
they are very emotional and much more sensitive than they appear.
INFJ men can be hard to spot out in the world, so here are 10 signs of the extremely rare INFJ male.
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INFJ men are not stereotypical in our society
INFJ men are generally very misunderstood. They make up such a small part of the population,
it's easy to see them as mythical. This unfortunately creates a conflux of misinformation,
making them even more misunderstood than they already are.
However, if you ever meet one, you will find they’re much less transcended and much more
tangible and grounded than people make them out to be. This should come as no surprise,
seeing that they’re literally human beings, with human emotions.
It’s just their very unorthodox perspectives (especially from a male) that sets them apart.
Behaviors, emotions, and thoughts associated with stereotypical men
do not apply to most INFJ men. This is because being authentic is important to them. They tend
to have a strict moral code and generally act in accordance with their values and beliefs.
Unfortunately, this can cause them problems in a society that has a very rigid definition
of what a man is supposed to be; such as not showing emotions or portraying a macho persona.
Many INFJ men can start off life hiding themselves and their values under layers of
shame. Until they learn to embrace their unique traits and ignore what society expects of them.
INFJ men can appear very distant and private
INFJ men can appear to be private because they tend to be uncomfortable being vulnerable.
They spend a majority of their time mulling over internal thoughts,
perceiving the world around them, and imagining various scenarios.
They enjoy chasing these myriads of thoughts and ideas in their mind,
being engrossed in them, and learning about themselves in the process. It is their meditation
and the only way they recharge themselves from being emotional sponges out in the world.
Sharing a part of that inner sanctum can be scary since many of their interests,
like philosophy and abstract concepts, can be a little boring for others
and they fear it may be rejected or called “weird".
And then, there is the matter of trust — which they take very seriously — it is
at the heart of their value system. INFJ men are nothing without their
morals and they try their utmost to be sincere in their relationships.
Expecting the same from everyone they meet, can seem unfair,
and that is why they keep others at an arm's length.
It's not about pushing people away but more to do with testing them, to know if they can be trusted.
INFJ men are very sensitive and emotional
INFJ men are natural feelers. They generally have enhanced nurturing qualities
that set them apart from most other men. At their core,
they are warm individuals, very sensitive to the needs of others.
However, they can have great difficulty expressing their own feelings.
This is because of their dominant introverted intuition.
They need to process their emotions internally before they are able to express them.
The more complex the issue, the longer it can take to bring it out into the open.
Ironically, however, they are much more likely to be emotionally receptive
to the feelings of others. As a result, many seek out INFJ men because of their genuine
empathy. Unlike most other types who might consider a person who expresses emotional pain
to be ‘dumping’ or ‘too much’, INFJ men are happy to listen whenever possible,
and they can be depended on to show genuine care and understanding.
INFJ men are considered to be more ‘feminine’
INFJ men tend to be empathetic, emotionally intelligent, and service-oriented. Unfortunately
in most patriarchal societies, these qualities are mostly reserved for women,
so this is the real reason INFJ men are sometimes described as ‘feminine’.
The idea that masculine means no emotions and feminine means only emotions is unfortunately
an idea that the world has portrayed to us and what most of us choose to accept.
There's no surprise or depth to traditionally "masculine" men,
they're supposed to wear their best qualities on the outside,
and their inner life either doesn't exist or is repressed into oblivion
INFJ men don’t tend to fit into this traditional male role, and as a result, most can experience
an identity crisis, particularly in early life. It’s not in an INFJ man's nature to be tough and
aggressive. They are far more nuanced and complex to be eclipsed by shallow cultural definitions.
They are undeniably men but they can be the cuddliest, silliest, most comfortable guys to be
around. As such they have a strength of both heart and mind that puts them into their own class.
They seek depth in people and their experiences
The vast majority of people are extroverted sensing types, completely opposite to INFJs who
are introverted feelers. It is therefore very common for INFJ men to feel very disconnected
from most people and most things; such as who won the Superbowl and who hooked up with whom.
INFJ men tend to seek longer-lasting relationships that are based on a deeper connection. When they
form a bond with someone, they make an effort to invest their time and energy into it. They care
more about quality over quantity when it comes to their inner circle. However, this can make life
lonely for them as most people tend to be either unable or unwilling to commit on this level.
Nevertheless, it is important for INFJ men to be true to themselves. They tend to be
unconcerned about their physical appearance and social image. They
do not try too hard to impress others because they dislike superficiality.
Instead, they tend to wait for people to enter their lives who value and appreciate them for
who they are. Once they find such people, they open up and express their true selves fully.
INFJ men tend to be absolutists
INFJ men have a tendency to lose themselves to extremes and their passions. They have strong
traits of perfectionism and idealism, and as a result, they want to do things well or not at all.
They want the best, otherwise, what's the point in having it.
They want to meet their soulmate, otherwise, why should they be with anyone.
They want to train hard at the gym, otherwise why should they even bother going.
INFJ men rarely do consistent or middle of the road when it comes to anything they care about.
They’re either incredibly passionate and involved,
and want to learn everything there is to know about something, or they’re utterly apathetic.
This is another reason INFJ men can come off as confusing to most people.
They can often go from one extreme to the other, seemingly without any reason.
It is very rare to be an INFJ male and so it can be hard to grow up and function
in a world made to misunderstand them. It can take them a long time to mature and realize
their differences are actually strengths; such as their deep empathy and kind nature.
However most eventually end up realizing this, and when they do they can be truly
special. They have admiral judgment and immense devotion to their morals and values.
They don’t follow anyone. They make their own path in life and it can be quite inspiring
if you are part of the few, lucky enough to witness it.