Now I know you want to lock yourself away in your apartment or your house.
You want to shut the blinds you want to binge watch Netflix.
Why is binge watch Netflix so hard to say?
Hey everybody, today we're going to talk about how to
healthfully spend the holidays alone.
The first thing I think is important is
to take time to figure out what is important to you.
What are things that you like about the holiday season?
When we're spending it alone
we often decide to do nothing.
And we don't want to talk to anybody
and we just want to stay home alone
and we don't want to interact.
But I would encourage you right now to start writing
down the traditions that you enjoy,
the things that you like about getting together
with family. I know family may
not be healthy for you to go to and to actually see.
But how can we recreate that
for you now, because I know even if
I don't go home to Washington to see my family,
there are certain things that I
still make Sean do and there's certain
foods that I still cook because those
are parts of the holiday experience for me.
And that helps me better manage the
fact that i wasn't able to go home and
be with my family. And so I think it's
important for us each to take time to decide:
What do we love about holidays?
What traditions are important? or
What new ones do we want to start now?
Now I know you want to stay at home alone
and often when we're not spending time with the family
or if the the thought of the holidays
just brings up all that old shit with family
and we just kind of want to shut our selves away.
Shut the blinds and want to binge watch Netflix and
we don't want to interact with anyone.
But I would encourage you to please keep busy and socialize,
because really what isolating ourselves and shutting those blinds and watching Netflix does is
it just hurts us, makes us feel worse.
If we're feeling in depressive symptoms right now,
it's gonna make those so much worse
than they were before.
So please, please, please call those friends,
send out some texts, start setting up things to do.
If you really like to get coffee
with a girlfriend make sure that you make time for that.
Make time for the things that are important
and please keep busy and socialize.
Oh and if you don't have any friends
that live near you there's chat on the
website i would encourage you to at least
interact with people online because then
you won't feel so alone.
And knowing the other people are struggling with the holidays can
feel so good just to normalize what we're going through.
My third tip is: give back; volunteer,
there are so many ways to help out during the holidays.
Whether it's giving out blankets to the homeless
or going to a soup kitchen and you know serving breakfast.
I used to do this stuff all the time with friends and
at work, because I used to work on
Saturdays and many of the treatment
centers and hospitals I worked at and so
on Saturdays we would take all of the
people that were willing and
able to go out and volunteer.
And I find often when I'm doing something to help
someone else I get more out of it.
I honestly feel that way, like I get just
as much out of it as they do
when I'm serving them food
or handing out blankets are doing any of those things
just to help out, even helping a
neighbor maybe they can't mow their lawn
or they you know struggle to bring their
trash can in, you can offer to help and
that often helps us feel so much better.
My fourth tip is: plan something fun.
Is there something you've been wanting
to do that you've just been putting off
or maybe it's too busy to go in the
summertime, now would be a perfect time to go.
It could be a trip it could be just
something local that you've never done
or maybe it's just giving yourself some
you know are some relaxation and rest
that's what I want make sure you plan
that in and make time for it.
And my fifth tip is: spending time each day writing down
the things that you're thankful for.
Or wonderful things that you're grateful
for that happened that day.
This is something that I've been
practicing because I find at night when
we lay in bed we often think about all
the things we have to do, or didn't do, or
that things that went wrong, or this old
conversation we had with somebody 10 years ago
and we don't know why it went so bad,
or why we were such an asshole back,
Stop that cycle. Stop your brain from doing it.
And I find that by just running through
things in your head that you're grateful
for things that went well that day.
Hey I woke up, I was able to shower,
I had that favorite sandwich that I like from the deli,
whatever it is you are grateful for
and thankful for spend time right before
you go to bed writing them down.
We also find writing things out where
you can see it and you can read it helps
our brain better acknowledge it,
and it like absorbs it that.
That's how I've always like visualized it.
There's a whole research study about it
but actually taking the time to write it
out like pen and paper old-school style,
not on the phone or the computer
really helps us take in the thankful things and
take in all the gratitude that we can
have for each passing day.
And the sixth and final tip and it kind of roles from
number five is: paying attention to what
conversations we're having with ourselves
are we sitting at home, isolating,
thinking shitty things about ourselves and
what's happened in our family and our relationships?
Are we reliving old fights?
Stop yourself from doing that,
make sure that you notice
what conversation you're having with yourself.
And if you find it taking a negative turn,
I would encourage you just
like we talked back to the eating
disorder voice, the self-harm voice talk back
to that nasty like Grinch like
voice that's hanging in your head telling
you about all the shitty things.
Instead try to feed it positive things.
Things that have gone well, maybe a friendship
that has started this year that's been
so beneficial to you. Maybe it's that
volunteer thing you did the other day
and so you feel really good about the
person that you interacted with you
really felt like you made an impact.
And if you have trouble with this,
something that helps me is just putting positive
vibes out there; opening a door for someone,
saying thank you,
paying for someone's coffee in line,
if you're in the drive-thru it's even better
because you kind of drive away thinking
ooh I left a special treat for them, whatever it is
that you can do maybe paying someone's parking meter.
I've done that too and that can make you
feel really good even any of those
little things to help boost and start
the positive conversation can help
because I know the holidays can be hard
and they're harder when were alone but
know that you are not alone with this
and we have a whole community of support
like I said you can hop on the website
and chat 24-7 and get support from other
Kinions that maybe are alone for the holidays
or are just struggling with the holidays
all together and I hope these
are helpful even the comments things
that were helpful for you things that
help you feel more positive during this
difficult time. And know that you're
never alone, you're part of our community
and we're all thinking about you,
sending you love and warm wishes this holiday season.