Before there was “Squid Game”, there was another dramatic competition show from a foreign country
that took America by storm - and this one just happened to be animated. That’s right,
we’re talking “Total Drama Island”. Oh sure, no contestants ever actually died on the show,
but the challenges were pretty extreme and nearly deadly while the competition itself was about as
intense as it could get. That being said, we’re sure a guy like Chris McClean would absolutely
host his own Squid Game if he thought he could get away with it. I mean, can you imagine the ratings?
But who exactly would win these games? Let’s find out, here on Total… Drama… Squid Game!
Alright, first off, let’s look at our contestants. Of course, we had to go with
the OG cast that everyone knows and loves. Competing in our Total Drama Squid Game are:
Owen, Gwen, Heather, Lindsay, Duncan, Courtney, Trent, Geoff, Bridgette,
Leshawna, Harold, DJ, Tyler, Katie, Sadie, Izzy, Eva, Ezekiel, Noah, Justin, Cody, Beth,
Alejandro and Sierra. We’re also going to be throwing in some All-Star campers: Scott,
Cameron, Mike, Zoey, Jo and Lightning. That brings our number of competitors to an even 30.
Now, a couple ground rules. To assure that everyone is on as even of a playing field as
possible, our competitors are entering the games with no weapons. That means no pocket knives,
no lighters, and no homemade bombs. We’re also going to say that Ezekiel is going to
be in his regular form, not his feral form. Similarly, Mike isn’t going to have access
to his alternate personalities, since they could be considered a power and therefore
an unfair advantage. Okay, with all that out of the way, let’s get to our actual games!
We’ll start with our first game: “Red Light, Green Light”.
“Red Light, Green Light” is a game that’s all about speed and sharp listening skills.
The goal is to make it to the finish line as fast as you can. However, if a player is too
focused on the finish line to realize when a ‘red light’ is coming up, or if they easily panic and
accidentally move or stumble when they’re supposed to freeze, this game could spell their doom.
Some of the campers that would do well in this game include Heather,
who’s pretty well known for keeping a cool head under pressure. She’s also incredibly observant,
and would be able to tell when “Red Light” is about to be called.
We also feel that Lightning would do well in this game. While he may not be the brightest,
the dude’s a football player, so it’s likely that he’s one of the faster competitors in this game.
As long as he keeps his ears open, he’s a shoe-in when it comes to making it across the line.
Geoff is also a guy that manages to keep calm under pressure,
and seems to be a decent listener, so we feel that he wouldn’t have too much of a problem.
Finally, similarly to Lightning, Jo is incredibly athletic and isn’t enough of a hot head that she’d
be willing to ignore life-saving instructions, so we feel that she passes this game easily.
Now, as for the campers that end up dying during this game,
our first death has to go to Lindsay. Now, no disrespect to Admiral Lindsay,
her hotness, but outside of a couple specific subjects… she’s pretty dumb,
and as such could easily miss hearing the game’s directions if she’s not paying attention.
She can also be fairly clumsy at times. These two things end up being a deadly combination for her.
If there’s anyone as ditzy as Lindsay, it’d have to be Katie and Sadie. Add in the fact
that these girls seem to be extremely emotional and quick to panic, and it really shouldn’t be a
surprise that they both die in this game. But hey, at least the BFFs die together.
The sports fan Tyler also falls to this game. Though he may have sold himself on being a jock,
Tyler is extremely uncoordinated and could easily trip during this game, getting himself killed.
The final camper to die in this game is none other than Ezekiel. Man… this guy
just canNOT catch a break, can he? Before he became a Gollum-esque creature, Ezekiel was
pretty slow - both physically and mentally. Because of this, we feel like he’d either
react too slowly to a “red light”, or he just wouldn’t make it across the finish line in time.
Taking these deaths into account, we have 25 out of our original 30 campers moving on.
Time for our next game - “Ppopgi” or Honeycomb.
The Honeycomb game requires patience and a steady hand.
Too much shaking or pressure could cause a fatal break. As such, our campers will need
to have enough focus to poke out their shape without accidentally breaking it.
Right off the bat, we feel like Duncan would do incredibly well in this game.
He’s been shown doing some wood-working, being talented enough to carve tiny skulls.
A skill like that takes a lot of patience and control, so Duncan absolutely aces this challenge.
Another person that does well in this challenge
is Cameron. While he may not have much life experience, being a bubble-boy and all,
his tiny hands and ability to focus on small details could give him a huge advantage.
DJ would also be pretty well suited for this challenge. Even though the guy’s a bit more
buff than some of the other contestants, we have to take into consideration his
rabbit-taming skills. The guy knows how to be gentle yet
steady, and thus could easily get his honeycomb out without cracking it.
And, surprisingly enough, we think that Owen would be able to make it through this game,
as well. Come on, the guy’s all about food. If anyone would be able to figure
out the secret to getting out their honeycomb, it would be him. As long
as he can control himself long enough not to actually eat it, he’s totally got this.
Moving onto the deaths that happen in this round, we’re sad to say that Courtney
easily falls to this game. While Courtney has many strengths and skills to help her in a competition,
she’s also got a huge temper and can get easily frustrated when things don’t go her way,
which could easily lead to her breaking her honeycomb. We also feel that Courtney is
arrogant enough to pick the star shape, one of the hardest shapes in this game.
Another camper with a tendency for anger is Eva. While she may have slightly
more patience than Courtney, we still feel that Eva’s temper combined with how strong
she is would just be too big of a hindrance for her to overcome.
Similarly, Lightning also likely dies in this round. Despite doing fantastically in the first
game, Lightning is not a patient dude. He’s all about brute force and powering through obstacles
with his quarterback strength. So yeah, Lightning absolutely breaks his honeycomb.
The last camper to die in this game ends up being Scott. Though he can be clever enough
to manipulate and blackmail others, he doesn’t seem all that patient nor does he seem to show
off any skills with his hands. For these reasons, we just can’t see him making it through this game.
Alright, four more down and 21 left to go! Following the Honeycomb game,
we of course have “The Midnight Brawl”.
Lack of food and sleep plus the stress of staying alive can drive any person to
the point of violence, and in these games, it’s every camper for themself. To survive this game,
a person must be either strong enough to fight or clever and sneaky enough to hide. So,
who would be able to either fend off attackers or properly hide themselves until the brawl was over?
Once again, Duncan and Jo reign supreme, as both of these campers are not only strong,
but also tough as nails and easily able to take on multiple opponents. After all, Duncan’s spent
time in juvie while Jo follows an olympian-level training regimen. They both pass this game easily.
One person who surprisingly has no trouble with the brawl is Gwen. Being someone who doesn’t care
to stand out, thanks to her goth attitude, it would be easy for her to hide during the brawl.
We also know from the first season’s horror movie challenge that Gwen has great survival
skills as well as the ability to fight off an actual psycho killer.
It really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone that Izzy also makes it through
this game with flying colors. Even if she may not look physically strong,
she was still able to keep up with Chef Hatchet when she fought him in the first season - a man
with military-level training. Also, let’s face it, Izzy is… pretty crazy. So yeah,
she absolutely has the skills and know-how to kill a person. Also, she was able to hide
from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, so she’s got some great stealth skills too.
Another person with great stealth skills would be Zoey. We know that when she gets stressed and
desperate to survive, she tends to go into what many call “commando mode”. With those skills as
well as an intense drive to put up a fight no matter what, she easily makes it through.
Finally, while he’s definitely not a fighter (not without some power armor,
at least), Cameron’s small stature would allow him to hide in places where others
can’t. He’s also clever enough to know how to avoid opponents bigger and stronger than him.
So, we know who can put up a fight, but what about the characters who get taken out in this round?
Unfortunately, after just barely squeaking by in the first two games, we feel that this game
is where Owen dies. Although the guy has a lot of bulk, he’s really not a fighter.
His large physique makes it hard for him to hide, and even if he did manage to find a hiding spot,
it’s likely that one of his famous badly-timed farts would give him away.
We also feel that Harold also dies in this game. Now yes, he is similar to Cameron in
that he’s a scrawny but smart nerd. However, he’s not quite as small or as smart as Cameron,
and we don’t think that he’d be strong or skilled enough to fight anyone off.
We also have to say goodbye to Bridgette. Though she’s of average build, she isn’t
particularly clever. Additionally, when it comes to fighting, Bridgette can be a bit of
a pacifist. We just don’t think she would be able to fight off someone stronger than her.
Similarly, Beth also seems like she would easily fall in this game. It took her a while
to become more independent in the two seasons she featured in, and while we’re sure that she’d be
determined to stay alive, we don’t think she has the strength or skills to pull it off.
Our last camper to die in the brawl is everyone’s favorite pretty boy,
Justin. Okay, yes, Justin seems pretty strong and certainly has abs for days.
However, it’s his looks that would be his greatest downfall.
Just like in “Total Drama Action”, if someone were to get a hit off Justin’s face,
making him look ‘ugly’, his resolve would quickly shatter which would then make him an easy target.
With several more campers permanently down for the count, it’s time for another
strength-based game - “Tug of War”.
Unlike the actual “Squid Game”, we aren’t going to assign characters to specific teams. Instead,
we’re simply going to judge them based on their abilities and likelihood to survive.
To win “Tug of War”, you don’t just need strength. You also need strategy,
and a willingness to work with others. Even weaker players have a shot at
surviving if they can coordinate properly with stronger players.
We feel that Leshawna easily passes this round,
as she’s not only physically strong but is a total team player.
Geoff is also a great team player and would have no problem hearing out another
person’s strategy. He also has plenty of muscle, thanks to his status as a surfer.
DJ also falls into that category of working well
with others and having the bulk to back up a challenge as physical as this one.
Alejandro may be more of a lone wolf,
however he isn’t quite arrogant enough to try and win a team-focused game all on his own.
After all, he’s a manipulator and knows how to use people to his advantage.
Finally, while Jo can be incredibly self-serving and arrogant,
she at the very least has the strength she needs to pull her team to victory, even if
she’s not particularly focused on listening to them or letting anyone else be the leader.
Unfortunately, while we see several campers have no issues with this challenge,
many others struggle greatly due to their strength - or rather, lack thereof.
One of these campers is Cameron. Although you could argue that he could come up with a strategy
similar to the ones we saw in “Squid Game”, Cameron just doesn’t have the strength to actually
pull them off - the poor kid would get yanked off the platform before he even could really try.
Fan-favorite and dork extraordinaire Cody also falls into the category of just being too weak for
strategy to help. We will acknowledge that Cody has a decent amount of durability - after all,
he survived getting mauled by a bear once. But physical strength? Nah.
Mike is also incredibly lanky, and without the help of his more clever or athletic alters like
Svetlana, Manitoba or Mal, he just doesn’t stand much of a chance in this game.
Another character to fall in this round is Noah. Noah already had a huge disadvantage in this game
due to his lack of strength. He may have been able to rely on his wits in the last round,
but in this game? Not so much. Even if Noah is booksmart, he likely doesn’t know
many athletic strategies. We also saw in season one’s dodgeball challenge that Noah
is about as far from a team player as you can get, due to how apathetic he generally is.
So, after a surprisingly low number of deaths, we finish off “Tug of War” with
12 of our original 30 contestants. Up next, we have “The Marble Game”.
Marbles is an interesting one, at least in the context of “Squid Game”. There are multiple ways
for pairs of players to play their marble game. They could focus on accuracy or how far they
can roll their marble, or they can simply guess how many marbles are in their opponent’s hand.
As such, there are multiple ways to win, with most of these ways relying on either skill
or luck. Of course, if you don’t have the skills to win, there’s always manipulation…
For this game, we feel that Sierra is one of the first to go. She isn’t particularly skillful at
games, and with how emotionally unstable she can be, she would be incredibly easy to manipulate.
Another camper to die in this game is Trent. Trent is, in a word, average. Sure, he could probably
win a game of marbles, but he doesn’t really have any strengths or skills that could guarantee him a
win. Considering the guy can be a bit dense at times, it’d also be pretty easy to trick him.
Similarly, Zoey also dies in this game. While she’s not dumb, she can be incredibly unobservant.
Both Scott and Mal were able to trick and manipulate her while she was on the island,
so we feel that she’s just at too big of a disadvantage when it comes to mind games.
One camper that we’re incredibly sad to see go here is Geoff. Now yes, Geoff is a pretty chill
guy. We’re sure he’s played a couple rounds of marbles in his day. However, compared to
someone like Jo or Alejandro who may have better accuracy in a game, Geoff is right beside Trent in
the “average” tier. We also saw during his stint in the Ridonculous Race just how easy it is for
pressure and insecurities to get the better of him, making him a prime target for manipulation.
Our last camper to die in this game is Heather. While yes, Heather was pretty crafty in her prime,
she’s no longer the best manipulator in the Total Drama series. It’s likely that others
would see through any tricks she would try, and while Heather may be skilled in other areas,
she doesn’t really seem like the marble-playing type and could easily
lose to someone with better aim or better luck.
Alright, we’re down to our final seven - and just in time for one
of this competition's deadliest games: “Glass Stepping Stones”.
This game is another tricky one for a hypothetical scenario,
as much of this game relies on luck. There is ONE strategy to it, however,
that being the advantage of going last - after some glasses pieces have already been broken. As
such, those who have a big enough ego to want to try a game first will likely seal their doom.
The first camper to die in this game is Jo. Really, she’s the only contestant who
would have a big enough ego to pick a high starting number in this game.
It’s a shame, as we’re sure she would be the type to push her competition off the bridge,
if she were behind them. But as far as going first goes, she doesn’t make it too far.
We feel that Leshawna would be the one to go next. While she may not have an ego as big as Jo’s,
she isn’t one to hang in the back like someone like Gwen or Alejandro would.
As such, she’d likely make it a bit farther than Jo, but would still ultimately die in this round.
The next to die would be Duncan. Similarly to Leshawna, he’d probably pick one of the middle
numbers - a risk, even if they aren’t as big of a risk as the high numbers.
We should also say that despite Duncan’s bad boy reputation, we don’t think he’d be
cruel enough to try pushing his competition off of the bridge. He can be a bully, yes,
but there’s a reason why he tends to lean more on morally grey than outright evil.
Sadly, DJ would also likely fall in this game. While yes, he can be pretty
graceful when he wants to be, as seen in the paintball deer challenge from season one,
that’s really the only skill he has that could be applied to this particular game. However,
even if DJ can be pretty light on his feet, his reaction time would still be
near average plus he still wouldn’t be able to tell tempered glass from regular glass.
For the final camper to die in this game, it was honestly an incredibly close call. But,
we feel that the one who dies is Gwen. While her survival skills and cool head have gotten her
this far, those attributes can’t really be applied here. Her best chance at surviving came from her
likely picking a low number, as Gwen is often reluctant to be the first to try a challenge.
Still, sometimes you’ve just got to deal with bad luck, and Gwen doesn’t really have
any extraordinary skills that can counteract that.
Regarding our survivors, Alejandro may be a bit egotistical but he’s also observant.
He’d easily be able to memorize where the tempered glass is after watching his competitors try
(and fail) at the bridge. Considering he’s also the handsome devil-type, it’s also not too
unreasonable to think that he’d be willing to push his fellow campers over the edge if he needed to.
As for Izzy, while she probably would have picked one of the higher numbers, Izzy is often regarded
as a sort of crazy Jack of all Trades. She has numerous skills and talents that allow her to
survive in different environments, and she’s able to come up with bizarre solutions to various
situations. Plus, if anyone would (somehow) be able to tell tempered glass from regular glass,
it would be her. After all, in “All-Stars” she could tell the difference between Mike and Mal
just by looking at him briefly. She’s definitely got some psychic vibes going on.
So now it’s come down to just 2 campers - Alejandro VS Izzy - and just like in
the show, our final challenge will be a one-on-one duel in the titular Squid Game.
In this game, two opponents must go up against one another, with
one acting as a defender and the other as an attacker, with the attacker doing everything
they can to reach the top of the court (or the squid’s ‘head’) and touch it with their foot,
with the defender doing whatever they can to stop them. Or at least, that’s how Squid
Game is traditionally played. Here though, it’s more of a ‘battle to the death’ type of deal.
Now, in some ways, the outcome to this duel may be a tricky one to figure out.
Buuuut in other ways, it’s really no contest. Now, we will hand it to Alejandro,
the guy is above average in terms of strength. He also has great endurance and balance,
as shown in “Total Drama All-Stars” when he was able to walk on his hands for
hours at a time. Along with his brawn come his brains. It’s pretty well agreed upon that
he’s a better manipulator than Heather, and he can be incredibly sneaky, strategic and clever
when he wants to be. If he was up against most of the other campers, he’d likely win.
On the other hand, Izzy is… well, Izzy! There’s no denying that the girl’s crazy, but it’s the
type of crazy that can be an asset instead of a hindrance. In terms of physical strength,
we again have to mention the fact that she was able to go toe-to-toe with Chef
in a fight - a man that’s twice her size and has at least a decade of combat experience.
Additionally, because she’s skinnier than Alejandro, it’s possible that she
could potentially out-speed him. Also, fun fact: in “Total Drama: World Tour”,
Izzy was the only girl who wasn’t won over by Alejandro’s charm. In other words, it’s unlikely
that Alejandro would be able to manipulate her or distract her with his handsomeness.
We’re sure that Alejandro would try his hardest in this final round,
but when we compare these two contestants, we just don’t believe that Alejandro would
come out on top this time. With that, we’re happy to declare Izzy the winner
of the multi-million dollar prize and the title of Total Drama Squid Game champion.
Due to the nature of the Total Drama franchise and its tendency
to rely on either archetypes or pop culture parodies for its characters,
many of them tend to favor one trait or skill over the others - whether that be physical strength,
intellectual skills, manipulative tactics, or even a positive spirit. Very few of the
characters could be considered well-rounded enough to withstand a variety of games and challenges,
and Izzy is certainly one of them - even if she’s still totally nuts.
But let us know in the comment section if you agree with our ranking,
and tell us what we should cover next! Remember to hit that notification bell
and binge more of our videos. But most importantly, stay wicked!