Hey guys, I'm back! So, what did I miss?
I think there’s someone hanging right there.
Oh.
What, you never... never stand next to a dead guy?!
No.
Logan Paul did WHAT??
You mean to tell me that I've been gone for one day, and Logan Paul is trending with a corpse in the thumbnail?
2018, here we come.
"Wow, Ethan, great moves. Keep it up, I'm proud of you."
[Keyboard tapping]
Me and Hila just returned from being abroad for two weeks. (yay)
The FIRST day I leave—the very first, Logan Paul is trending on YouTube with a corpse in the thumbnail.
I leave for ONE DAY, Logan! ONE DAY!
My initial reaction after watching this video was thinking back to how he reacted when he saw colors for the first time.
It was very emotional for the poor guy. I remember him drawing tears!
[Emotional & dramatic music]
"Yo, this is unbelievable."
So, here he is seeing colors for the first time
and now here he is finding a… corpse… in the forest.
[Laughter]
Hm. Seems genuine.
For me, the worst part of this video was without a doubt the thumbnail.
Now, I'm not gonna show it because like I said, I could only find a reupload of this video on LiveLeak.
But, essentially, where this black bar is censored out, he's got a guy hanging from a rope in the background right behind him in the thumbnail.
Because it means he went through the trouble of photographing this, lining up the body in the back,
making sure he was on the right side with plenty of space over there so that it wasn't covering the timestamp.
I mean, can you... can you just imagine Logan Paul and his whole posse out there with this corpse, just treating it like a prop in his video?
(Imitating Logan) I'm devastated, by the way, but just go ahead and—
Right here? Oh, more—right here?
Like that? Okay, great. We got the thumbnail guys! [Claps]
"I have one piece of advice, okay? Listen closely. Uh, [In slowmo] don't go over there."
There is a silver lining to this story, and it's that of brotherly love.
When Logan was in his time of need, his hour of darkness, his brother came to save the day.
and when YouTube, and the media, and everyone was clownin' on Logan, Jake said-
'No. I will not let you have all the attention. I will help you, brother.'
Jake uploaded a video called 'I Lost My Virginity' with, basically, a girl riding him fully nude in the thumbnail.
Basically pornography for his 8 year old children.
[Sarcastically] Say what you will about the Paul brothers, they are such good role models.
When people first started giving him shit, he posted this apology on Twitter.
[Ethan reading in a dramatic voice]
But I'm still a human being! I can be wrong!
'I didn't do it for views. I GET VIEWS.'
This is—bro, this is not the time to be humble bragging!
EXISTENCE is about chasing views and getting as much views as possible.
How can you just dismiss that like you don't even think about views??
I mean you act as if finding the next viral video isn't something you care about,
but you said this in the same video at the very beginning.
"This definitely marks a moment in YouTube history.
Because I'm pretty sure this has never, hopefully, happened to anyone on YouTube, ever.
Buckle the fuck up, because you're never gonna see a video like this again."
Nobody HAS EVER SHOWN A DEAD BODY to millions of children on YouTube!
I am thrilled, I am excited to announce that I am the very first one, you guys.
YOU ARE SO OUT OF TOUCH! You're just a guy running around holding a camera on a stick!
That is not making a television show, if you think that's what it is!
You're a vlogger! You're a vlogger! Let's tone it way down. Way, way, way, way down.
[Imitating Logan] "And with great power comes great responsibility". Just like Spiderman. And Spiderman, when they said that-
I'm like—I'm like Spiderman.
[Mockingly] Dab!
Logang for life. Hashtag. Ooh, you can feel him he's like— [Kissing noise]
Flirting with the idea of plugging merch right now. It's like—oh, it's so tempting.
Pick up our exclusive apology merch here at be-a-maverick.com/suicideforest!
50% with coupon code 'dangling corpse'!
Hey, to err is human!!
Now, the corpse meme taken by itself is one thing entirely.
But when you take it in context of his entire trip to Japan, it takes on a new character-
One that shows really how irresponsible, obnoxious, and just kind of a shitty (racist) guy he really seems to be.
"Gotta be careful to not, like, disrespect the culture. 'Cause, Logang, Japan is all about the respeeeect....
I know, it's true, so I gotta take my chach levels and bring them down."
First of all, remember he said that throughout this video, okay. Remember those words. Let it ring throughout your soul.
[In slowmo] "Japan is all about the respeeeect..."
"I gotta take my chach levels and bring them down."
[Loud yelling & screaming]
"Respeeeect..."
[Continues yelling and being an obnoxious dumbass]
So he's essentially acknowledging that he knows that Japan is all about the respect,
and then immediately willfully ignoring that and being a total douche—
Explicitly to disrespect the culture, because he thinks it's funny.
Because he thinks being an edgy 12 year old in a 22 year old man's body is funny and edgy.
It's dope.
[Yelling]
[More yelling]
"Respeeeect..."
"So if you look behind me, this is where you throw coins into the well. You make a wish and they come true."
Camera guy: "What are you gonna wish for?"
"I wish for health, uh… happiness…
and hella bitches. There ya go." ( CC Note: Yeah, he actually said this no joke! LMAO )
[Coins clanging and falling]
So, he's at a... temple. Which is a religious site where everyone's quiet and respectful.
[Imitating Logan] I wish for health, happiness, and hella bitches! Am I right, 12 year old fans?
Pound it! Oh-ho, Kobe!
Kobe the coins! Fade away!
AHH HEYYY ANYONE SEE THAT SHOT!?
"Hella bitches."
"Respeeeect..."
Everyone's all quietly praying and being respectful—
KOBE!!!
Not only did that wish not come true—is this perhaps the exact moment where he was CURSED?
All this shit started happening after he disrespected that temple! I'm just sayin', bro.
And, of course, he immediately gets kicked out by the police after doing that.
"It looks like Andy's being taken away. What happened?"
"What did he do?
Nooooo
[Speaking Japanese]
"In a second we're gonna put the vlog camera down, you know how it is in Japan, they're all about the respect..."
Funnily enough, that's the whole point of the thumbnail. That's how he pitched this video.
Kicked out of japan, with a cop pointing at him.
That's the pull of the video, that was the whole point, right?
It was to go there, provoke people, get reactions, be a douche, to see what kind of shenanigans he could do,
so he's like, "Oh my god, I got kicked out!
What a great story for my vlog!
I'm so happy I got kicked out of this holy site for being so obnoxious, I'm going to put it in the thumbnail! I'm so proud of it."
Logan: I want to buy this.
I'm not gonna eat it though, it's just for content.
I got my squid leg, I got a fish!
HEY guys, you want some fish?
And when he's done assaulting people with raw seafood, what does he do?
Logan: Honestly bro, I'm done with these fish. [assaults taxi w/ fish]
ReSsPEeCcCC
rEsPeCc
Leaves it on some poor son's of bitches TAXI cab, and waltzes off into the sunset.
I—it's beyond reckless, it's so obnoxious, it's like so obnoxious bro.
This is the single most obnoxious thing I may have ever seen in my life.
And again, this is the kind of behavior that's made him very popular.
Because eight year olds think this is cool, and edgy, and DOPE.
Cause he doesn't give a flop. This guy? He doesn't give a flop.
I'd like to buy some of his merch, to show the world that I also don't give a flap. I'm a maverick.
tHeY'rE aLl AbOuT tHe ReSpEcCcCc
Next, they dress up as Pokemon and throw shit at strangers
[I choose] you!
I choose you! NO!
NO!
NO! Gotta catch you! Gotta get em! *Obnoxious laughing*
Gotta catch you! Gotta get em! *Obnoxious laughing*
I gotta catch you, gotta g-get em'!
G-get em'! *Obnoxious laughing*
Get em'!
Ge- *Obnoxious laughing* OO00OOOOooOOOO000HHHHHHH!!!! You've been caught!!!!
OO00OOOOooOOOO000HHHHHHH!!!! You've been caught!!!!
OHHH!!! You've been caught!
Charizard!!!??
Charizard?
Wait, is that Charizard!!????? Wait, is that??
Wait, is that?
I'mma catch you
I'mma catch you!
I'mma catch you! *ReSsSSssPeCCCtTTT*
ReSsSPeEcTT
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!
I choose you!
I CHOOSE YOU!
Wha-what!!????
Wha-what do you want?
I hope you're enjoying our light hearted romps through Japan.
GoT 'EM, AHA!
Isn't this light hearted fun?
Hm got eem
hehe.
Now, after all these videos,
The Suicide Forest video came
and everybody knows what happened with that.
But what I find interesting is–although he removed that video,
he's left all these other Japanese videos up.
Which means to me that he stands behind this content.
He's made that decision, and I mean, this stuff is pretty insane.
Now since all this has played out,
I'm very proud and happy to say that YouTube has removed him from his Red series,
put his movies on hold that were on YouTube,
removed him from the.... Google Preferred program,
and pretty much cut ties with him completely.
As well as a lot of other companies and brands
The kickback for him has been absolutely brutal.
But, as Philly D pointed out on Twitter, and I think it was a really great, important point,
And that's true! That's - that's what's so... messed up about Logan and Jake's audience.
These are kids, they can't tell the difference between what's right and what's wrong.
They don't have a critical voice in their head, right?
And what Logan does is he takes full advantage of them,
by marketing his merch to them so aggressively that it borders on brainwashing.
Now six months ago when they started selling their merch like crazy,
it started relatively harmlessly–I would just call it tacky, cheesy way to pawn off his merch,
and maybe a little inappropriate.
But over the months, since then,
The competition with his brother has driven them to this nuclear arms race of merch selling that has just completely gone off the charts of insanity.
Here, for example. Let me show you what Jake Paul's, uh, Christmas special looks like.
Buy that...merch. Buy that...merch.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS THAT JAKE PAUL MERCH!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS THAT JAKE PAUL SHIRT!
This... this song is literally uh, just a commercial.
There's not even a pretense anymore of making a music song,
link in bio,
The chorus is: "Buy that... merch. Buy that... merch."
Like... and the best part!
The best part...
is that they still sell it. On iTunes and Spotify
Imagine... your little child, walking around listening to Jake Paul whispering in his ear:
"Buy that... merch. Buy that... merch."
THAT'S BRAINWASHING!
AND YOU BOUGHT THE SONG TOO.
There's a lot of examples between them two of what I consider "brainwashing."
But my favorite... and the best one of all.
Is Logan Paul's "Santa Disstrack."
I'd like to show you that now:
I dunno bro! He said he wouldn't do it!
Logan: What d'you mean he wouldn't do it?
Santa said, he won't deliver the Maverick merch this Christmas!
Logan: Brooo, why would he not deliver Maverick merch this year? It's the hottest merch in the gaaaame.
I dunno bro! Cuz he's Santa!
Logan: Yeah... Santa for sure. I gotta message for Santa. Ready? Relay this:
F*ck Santa!
He said what Santa? *Gasp* He's so cool!
"Or maybe cuz he met Mrs. Claus and hit it twice!"
Wait what? Is this the part where he calls Santa a cuck?
I'm sorry, did you just called Santa Claus a cuck!?
The fact that you are so insecure, that you felt like you had to preempt criticism
just shows that you know how creepy this is I feel like.
Yeah bro! I'm the Maverick, that's my sole purpose in life is to sling merch.
Rep the merch, I also do it in ch-church?
You rep your merch in church is almost like saying,
there's nowhere that's not inappropriate.. to rep this merch.
So whatever your parents bought you, whatever, "Santa Claus" gave you
is a bunch of crap, whatever it is. If they didn't buy you Maverick merch,
Give it back, it's garbage.
You don't own my merch, you don't have my love..
It's worthless, whatever they got you.
Throw away that dirty sack of a backpack! Whatever it is that you're slugging around!
Whatever your pare- your parents bought you.
Buy my new backpack, throw away your dirty
He—he's very aggressive!
The whole point of this song is- is a little subtle,
but it gets in these kid's heads right?
That Santa's a cuck… ok? and whatever gifts he's given out, IS TRASH.
Unless it's Maverick merch. Also, I CUCKED you Santa. Did I mentioned that I CREAMPIED MRS. CLAUS?
You need this, this HIGH quality stuff my friends.
Lookin' and feelin' great.
I'm the new Santa Claus. In fact, I'm daddy.. call me daddy.
Daddy Paul.
Daddy, call me daddy. What the… what? WHAT!?
Why are you talking in your videos, talking to your kids, "C-Call me daddy"??
Nobody should be calling you daddy...
None o' that!
and of course, you can also buy this commercial on iTunes and Spotify
just in case you wanna get brainwashed twenty-four hours a day.
Fanjoy.co,
back slash Jake Paul
Get it while you can
Before I sell it all!
There's urgency, he's gonna sell it all! You better get on over to Fanjoy and pick it up boys!!
Spend a hundred dollars, free shippin', y'all
Go tell your momma, she gotta buy it all!
FREE SHIPPIN' IF I SPEND OVER A 100 DOLLARS! NOO!!
THAT'S SUCH A GOOD DEAL, IT'S GONNA SELL OUT! MOM!! MOM!! YOU HAVE TO BUY IT QUICK!
Fanjoy to the world,
My merch has come!
MOM YOU GOTTA BUY IT ALL!!!
QUICK IT'S SELLING OUT!!
IT'S SELLING OUT! IF WE SPEND MORE THAN A HUNDRED DOLLARS, WE GET FREE SHIPPING MOM!!
Buy dat merch
You know this tweet, that a friend of mine shared with me.
Pretty much says it all.
This is a real tweet from Twitter, that was was in response to something Jake Paul had tweeted.
Adam or… poor, sweet Adam he says
This is how important it is to these kids, this is how much they look up to these guys.
How brainwashed they are, their wearing merch like their crips and bloods.
Now I just have one question left, when the bombs fall...
when the nuclear holocaust inevitably is upon us
Who are you gonna stand with?
The Jake Paulers?
Or the Logang?
I for one will always take refuge, and find salvation...
In the God Church.
[Jake Paul's commercial song playing]
Apperently, Logan Paul can be arrested if he goes back to Japan, because he literally filmed himself commiting crimes and uploaded it on the interent. (So sorry, I may or may not have screwed up by double uploading around the Pokemon area). Also , H3H3 is the greatest youtube channel to ever exist.