Tripp Kramer here from TrippAdvice.com.
Imagine this, you started dating a girl, maybe you've been through four, five, or six dates.
Maybe you're in a relationship with a girl.
Then you start to notice, you're not getting as many text messages back.
She's not able to meet up as much.
You're noticing a disconnect.
You can intuitively feel like there's something going on between you to some sort of disconnect.
She's pulling away.
Why is this happening?
There's really only a few reasons or maybe many reasons which I'll be going over today,
which is why she's pulling away.
Again, I'll be giving you these reasons.
It could be all of them.
It could be one of them.
These are the main reasons why a woman starts to become unattracted and distance herself
from you.
One is neediness.
Neediness means that you are acting in a way where you need her.
Maybe you're smothering her, or always wanting to be with her, always texting her, hanging
out too much.
Basically, what's happening here is you're showing her, you don't have your own life.
Also, if you guys are hanging out so much, it doesn't leave for distance, it doesn't
leave for mystery.
Esther Perel, who was a famous sociologist, she says that when you create more mystery,
and more distance, that actually creates desires.
That means that you don't want to necessarily know every little thing about your partner.
You don't want to be spending every waking moment with your partner.
It doesn't leave mystery.
Mystery is exciting.
Make sure that if you start dating a woman, or you've been in a relationship for a long
time, don't see them every single day.
Don't try to hang out with them all the time.
I know there's exceptions here.
Of course, you’re like, Tripp, eventually I might live with her.
We might be married.
We might have kids.
Yes, it's going to get harder to be able to separate you two as you guys grow closer,
but that's where the challenge lies, where you got to figure how could you have your
own days, how could you separate, how can you make some distance between yourself, so
you can come back together, be happier, and be more excited to see the person.
.
This next one is more for guys who are in relationships.
What happens is guy tries to attract girl, guy gets girl, guy gets into relationship,
guy starts to not try as hard.
He starts to let go.
He doesn't go to the gym as much.
He becomes more sloppy.
He becomes less attentive, less caring because he feels like there was this goal accomplished.
Guys are very goal oriented.
We think like, okay, let's do the thing.
Once we have the thing, it's done.
That's not how it works with relationships.
It's not you get the girl and boom, everything's good from there and not know with relationships,
with anything that you're doing work continues.
For example, let's say you're working out and your goal is to gain a certain amount
of muscle mass and certain amount of body fat then you get that goal.
You don't just go, okay, that's it.
I did it.
I'm done.
No, if you want to keep it like that, you need to maintain.
Same thing with relationships, you need to maintain a relationship.
You can't let loose, you can't just not try anymore.
You can not have date nights, not go out, you can try less in the bedroom.
You can't let yourself go, like I said, not work out anymore, not try to seduce her anymore,
not try to have conversations that are flirty with her.
If that stuff goes away, she's going to pull away because she's going to realize that there's
no spark anymore in the relationship.
Here's a couple that are connected to the last one that I said.
If you're in a situation where you're dating a girl and you guys have been together for
a while, then you find that you don't do anything anymore, you get into a really boring routine.
She comes home and make dinner, you watch some TV, maybe you have sex, you go to bed.
Maybe on the weekends, you go to dinner, you go to the same kind of spot, that's it.
There's no excitement.
Again, this takes work.
I'm not lying about that.
There are definitely things you need to do, there's effort that needs to be put in.
What you're going to have to do, and hopefully, by the way, she's doing this with you.
I'm not saying that you need to be doing all the work, hopefully, there's some co work
involved here.
If she's not doing it, at least you can step up to the plate as the man of the relationship
and act as necessary.
Hopefully, she'll follow suit.
Make sure that you guys don't follow a routine, that you guys do random sporadic outings,
that maybe you don't just do a date on a Friday night, but you do it on a Wednesday night.
Even if you're tired, you plan an activity.
You guys have sex in the night that you guys don't normally have sex on.
Maybe you guys do a spontaneous trip, whatever it is.
Try that, knock out that routine so she doesn't get bored.
Let's be honest, you're going to get bored too.
You got to make it interesting in that way.
I want to circle back to one that I talked about earlier that I think it's going to help
you with this idea of neediness.
A lot of guys are needing because they don't have anything else going on in their life.
I want to stress to you because I think this can be a domino effect that can help a lot
of these issues all together, is creating your own life.
Making sure that you have friends to hang out with, hobbies to attend to, that you are
still working on your path and purpose, which could be connected to your career.
Things that you're doing outside of her.
That way, you guys have some distance, you're enjoying other things, you don't need her.
On top of that, you guys can continue to work on your relationship together because you
get excited to see her.
I think it's going to be easier for you to want to put in the effort when you guys have
created some of that distance and not hanging out all the time.
Make sure that’s happening now.
Don't wait too long to do that.
Also, you might be at the point where you don't have a girlfriend yet, you're not in
a relationship.
You would love to take this advice, but you're not there yet, lucky for you, I have a course
called Hooked at GetHerHooked.com.Inside there, there's a module called the girlfriend generator
which teaches you how to get a girlfriend, mainly what do you do once you start dating
a girl.
How do you take it from, okay, we've been on a few dates to eventually she becomes your
girlfriend.
What does that process look like?
How do you make it happen?
Check it out at GetHerHooked.com.
That's my course that goes over all that stuff.
Then you could take this advice and have an awesome relationship.
Check that out.
Leave a comment down below.
I'll talk to you on the next video.