Hey guys, JT Tran here with another dating advice video for you guys. Answering that age old
question, does height matter to women? Well, here is the unvarnished, honest, brutal truth.
Height absolutely matters when it comes to attraction, but it matters less when you're in a
relationship because, after all, we've all seen that short guy dating that tall girl, right? But you
have to get there first. You have to be the exception to the rule. If you act and walk like an
average guy, you're going to get average results. And I'm going to give you 2 examples of how a
pair of short Asian guys were able to project height through their command presence
emotionally, as well as physically through their actions.
A little background for you guys. In 1 study, Does Height Matter: An examination of height
preferences in romantic coupling examining dating profiles, only 13.5% of men cared whether a
girl was shorter than them. While 48.9% of women cared that the guy was taller than her. So yes,
absolutely, women do care about height. So basically what you have to understand is women feel
more feminine and protected when the male is taller. Sociology professor Yancy had this to say
about the height study. "The masculine ability to offer physical protection is clearly connected to
the gender stereotype of men as protectors." Socially also girls from watching TV, romantic
movies, they're taught to expect to wear high heels, look up in their partners eyes, and wrap their
arms around his neck. Does that mean you're screwed if you're short like me? No! You just have
to work harder, be smarter, and game better. After all, I may not have been born tall, dark, and
handsome, but I can settle for being short, stunning, and smooth.
So you have to project a non-stereotypical avatar. So 1, you can project a strong, competent,
protective avatar, or 2, you could project a more sexual avatar, alright? You have to understand
how you're conveying yourself. You want to emotionally project a command presence. You
might not have that physical stature, but you could have that personality, or command stature.
Things to avoid. 1, avoid looking weak. 2, avoid weak body language like slouching. 3, avoid
bad handshakes. Every girl, every guy hates it when some guy comes up to them and they do that
little wimpy, limp-wristed handshake. Don't do that. Avoid bad eye contact. You've got to meet
them dead on. Avoid verbal hesitation. Avoid weak hugs. I've had girls tell me this. They hate,
they absolutely hate, and they will not date a guy that hugs and they feel like they're hugging
another girl, alright? You have to feel like a man in her arms. Now, I know some guys who will
put lifts in their shoes in order to get themselves a little bit extra height. But here's the thing, if
you're like me, 5 foot 5, and you get another, what, 2 inches? Like 5 foot 7 is still pretty short.
It's just not going to cut it if you're 5 foot 2, 5 foot nothing. 2 inches, not going to make a big
deal. So avoid, I mean if you have it, sure whatever, but honestly, it's not going to help.
Now here are some things that you can do. First of all, never say that you're intimidated by her
height. Instead you can say something like what I tell girls, "I love dating tall girls. Did you
know that scientists say that interracial babies are the most gorgeous babies of all? Could you
imagine if you and I had kids? They'd have my looks, they'd have my brain, and I guess she'd
have your height too." Right? So you can say something like that. Conveying that you're
completely secure in your height, and actually, it would be an advantage, an evolutionary
advantage for her to date you. Next, direct the conversation initially. Don't let her control the
first twelve minutes of the conversation. This comes from the 757 Rule. Now you want to
be flexible and you want her to get invested into the conversation. And once you've established
that attraction, then she'll start talking, and then she'll start getting more invested in the
conversation with you. But initially, before you have that attraction, you want to direct and be
somewhat in control of the conversation, where it flows, and how it flows.
Physically you can project a command presence. Emotionally, she's going to feel that you're a
lot taller than you actually are by the way you carry yourself, and by the way you act. So things
you can do, or you can sit her down because out of sight is out of mind. When you're standing,
it's very obvious that she's this tall and you're this tall. What I'll do is, I'll maybe stand up on
some stairs, if we're standing in a club and we're at the stairs I'm like, get at that height, or I'll
simply say and I'll lead her down to a couch like "Hey, my feet hurt. Let's go sit down". And
once when you've established eye level contact is completely forgotten that she's actually taller
than me. Be physically dominate. All women, even tall women, love a dominate guy that can
pick her up, that can make her feel like that feminine, soft woman. So what I'll do, and
remember, I'm 5 foot 5. I'll do like a selfie, like "Hey let's take a picture" and I'll give the
camera to somebody, and I'll literally pick her up in my arms. And I've had girls tell me that that
was a moment that she wanted to sleep with me because, even being a short guy, I wasn't afraid
of picking her up. Like physically picking her up and showing that kind of masculine side to me.
Leader. Both verbally and physically be the leader. Don't be intimidated by other men. If you
lead the group and you lead the men, the women will follow. In fact, I like to warn women about
dating someone like me. I'll tell her something like "Girl, more men are going to hit on you than
have ever hit on you in your entire life once you start dating me." The last girlfriend I had, she
was this tall, leggy blonde of a lawyer and the moment we walked arm and arm into the club, all
the girls were staring at us, and all the guys were starring at her. And she had such a trip turning
down all these guys who were just jumping out of the wood work like they were ninjas, and
making all the girls jealous for dating me. So you've got to be confident enough to prepare
yourself to handle that. So basically you're qualifying her, you're showing her that you're
completely secure and that, not only are you secure, you find that being short you're very
successful. Because girls want you, guys want to be around you, or at least they want your
girlfriend. So you're showing that you're completely secure in that.
Now there are a couple of stereotypes, specifically for Asian men that you want to be aware of
and you want to avoid. First there is the K-pop star, alright? It's considered very effeminate,
especially here in the Western world. You know the guy that has that comb over down over their
eyes, their wearing the very effeminate kind of clothes, and their effeminate features. You want to
avoid that. And secondly, there is a stereotype of Asian guys being smaller and weaker. So you
want to show that you're physically competent and that you're not intimidated by physical
danger. You have to project a significant amount of masculinity, confidence, and competence.
And stop dressing like the K-pop star, alright? With the comb over, because all you're
doing is you're only attracting other Asian girls. You're not attracting, and being open to dating
everyone.
Here are the 2 examples of the short Asian guys that made women that think of them as being, if
not physically taller, at least emotionally and personality wise. So first of all, there is a story
from Jocelyn from the Speaking of China blog. Now she can tell the story better if you went to her
blog, but I'll give you the short version. So Jocelyn was this tall white women who was in China
studying for her PhD, or something along that lines, and she was in this Chinese village and in
this village was this river. And in this river there was a Chinese factory that was polluting the
river and everyone depended upon the river for their livelihood. She remembers being in this
kind of town hall meeting, then you've got all these Communist officials, all these big wigs that
can send everyone off to the [?] goulog or something like that. The village is complaining to
these Communist officials that the factory is polluting the river and that it's destroying their
livelihood. One of the guys, typical Chinese guy, right, short, like 5 foot nothing, she's like 5
foot 10, but she remembers before having met him, and she didn't think any kind of romantic
thoughts about him. But the moment he stood up in this town hall meeting and confronted the
Chinese Communist officials about what they were doing to the village, they basically argued
with him, because apparently his parents lived there. He grew in her eyes. He didn't physically
grow obviously, but emotionally, and more importantly through attraction, he grew. He became
this man who is bigger than life because he was willing to stand in front of these Communist
officials and actually stand by his ethics, but also protect his parents, alright? So that's one
example.
And then another example is one of my students. And this was the first time it had ever been
followed by AsianWeek, alright? We were in New York and one of my students happened to be
this 5 foot nothing Singaporan guy, alright? So he's got Fobby Asian hair, Fobby Asian teeth,
Fobby Asian accent, and he's just tiny. And off in the distance, we're in this rooftop bar called
Hotel Gansevoort, which is this gorgeous rooftop bar looking the New York skyline. Everybody's
dressed fancy, everybody's handsome, everybody's beautiful. And off in the distance I see this 6
foot tall blonde. And I grab the student closest to me and I tell him "Go over there and tell her
she's beautiful." It happened to be my short Singaporian student who is 5 foot nothing. I grab
him and say "Go over there and tell her she's beautiful." He's like "Yeah. Okay." So he starts
walking over there, he's like marching in all his 5 foot glory, and the reporter sees this and he
takes his camera out and he starts taking pictures and I'm like "Noooo!", right? Because who
knows what's about to happen. Because realistically this girl was a blonde 6 foot tall girl. Now,
do tall women date short guys? Sure. But that's the exception, not the rule. Do mid-western
white girls date Asian guys that come from a completely different culture and can barely speak
English? Sure it happens, but that's the exception, not the rule. He went up there and this is
literally what he said, now I want you to imagine, again, 5 foot nothing, short Asian guy, Phobie
accent, 6 foot tall blonde, and he literally has to stand up on his tippy toes, reach up with his
fingers and he [?] keyno turned her, and this is literally what he says. He says "You are fucking
beautiful" and you know what? If you'd go to the Asian Week Newspaper, there's me on the
front cover, right? You open the article, there's me talking, and me lecturing, and there's me
talking to girls, and then there's a picture of my student, my 5 foot nothing Singaporian student
sitting down, cell phone out, holding her hand as she's sitting with him getting her number,
alright? In 7 seconds, he was able to convince her that he was more than just a short Asian guy.
That he was an actual romantic dating partner, okay? So there you guys go. Does height matter
in dating? Absolutely it matters, especially in attraction. Less so in the relationship and hopefully
with these do's and don'ts of using your height to your advantage, you guys are going to not let
height stand in the way, alright? So stay tuned for the next video, be sure to subscribe.