- I can't believe that this week is--
we'll be celebrating our 2000th show.
[cheers and applause]
Isn't that crazy? 2000.
[cheers and applause]
November is a time to give thanks--the entire month.
I don't think it should just be Thanksgiving Day.
It should be the--we should do it every day, all year long.
It shouldn't jus--all the time. Right?
[cheers and applause] Let's be grateful.
I am grateful for so many things.
Especially the talented people on my staff.
From the guy who carries me into the office every morning,
to the woman who carries me to my car at night.
[chuckles]
Whether they're on camera or not,
'cause you know some of 'em.
You know Andy, and you know Andy Zenor
with the short-shorts.
Everyone makes me laugh every single day,
and some people you know, some people you don't,
but enjoy. [Ed Sheeran's "Sing"]
Anyway, if you're gonna bike to work you have to be prepared.
Allow yourself enough time because the best thing--
[bicycle bell rings] you wanna plan a route that is--
the best... - Whoo!
- [singing] Glass on the side
Been sat with you
- Sorry, sorry, Ellen. Sorry I'm late.
- You have 30 seconds
to make Kim go outside.
She fell down. [laughing]
[laughter]
- [screams] - All right.
[laughter]
Watch what happens when you hit this button.
- [singing] Sing!
[laughter]
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Louder!
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
- How am I doing? - Terrible.
- Ah, what do you know.
Pickle Boy, please bring me my joke.
[cheering]
Which one is it? - [chuckles]
[both laugh]
- [singing] Hoped you take my hand darling
- All right. - Hi, I'm Ari
from the Ellen Show.
You guys come out here every year?
- Yep. - I come out here every year.
- Well, it was nice meeting you. - [mumbles]
- Oh, we could just do a handshake.
Okay. Bye.
[laughter]
- No. The bra-- [laughing]
That's not what I said.
Oh, my God.
May I have the envelope, please.
[cheers and applause]
[laughing]
- [singing] Whoo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Sing!
[saw grinding]
- Andy, what is that?
- Uh, th--something's with the bushes.
- What? - [laughing]
There's something in your bushes.
[laughter]
- Go out ahead! - Okay, I don't see--
-You go out ahead, they won't bother you.
- I don't...I don't...
- [growls] - [screams]
- Keep your arms out... - [whimpering]
and I will protect you!
Keep 'em out!
- [screams] - We see you coming!
We see all of it. - [whimpering]
[laughter and applause]
[upbeat music]
- Andy?
- I'm okay.
[laughter]
- [laughing]
- Okay, we're shopping for a gift for our boss.
- Gorgeous. I think she would really like that.
This one is 146 thousand.
[laughter]
[Justin Bieber's "All Around the World"]
- [singing] People want to be loved
Oh oh oh ooh oh oh Ooh ah oh oh oh
Oh all around the world
They're no different than us
Oh oh ah oh All around the world
[music continues]
- Ready. - [stutters]
Ye-yes. - Okay.
- I might curse at you. I'm not gonna lie to you.
- That's all right. - Oh, my...God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my...God.
Why do you keep doing that over and over again?
Is that not it? Is that--Is it...
Oh, my God.
- Just knock the whole thing of potatoes down
and yell, "My potatoes."
- Ah! My potatoes! - Oh, no.
My job. I was on my way to my job.
- My job. I was on my way to my job--my potatoes...
- Now my potatoes.
[laughter]
[laughing]
- Ellen, thank you so much for sending me here.
Thank you Mirabal.
Now I know why you love this place so much, Ellen.
You--oh, you need the robe back? Okay.
I'm free.
Thank you.
Does anyone know where the van to the airport is?
Is there a shuttle?
Is it this way?
Is it--okay.
[cheers and applause]
- I love you all. Thank you so much.