In polite society,
there are topics that are usually not recommended to discuss
with people who you're not close to, and politics is one of them, ladies.
And I think,
the world of social media has actually changed this where politics has
become something that many now feel obliged to give their personal opinion on.
So how do we go about this elegantly,
especially when we are not experts on the subjects and perhaps don't even
want to share our opinion?
My dear elegant ladies,
I want to share with you my view today on how to handle these situations with
elegance, but also how to set boundaries when needed.
There is a lot of pressure on people to voice their opinions,
whether that be at social events,
on social media or when you're just meeting acquaintances. And you know,
it has always shocked me whenever I have been in social situations,
especially with people that I don't know very well,
how some people can be so insensitive and put you in the spotlight
by asking you, what's your opinion on X, Y, Z. And this X, Y, Z,
it can be current events. It could be a political subject, or it can be,
let's say a political person.
I want you to know that it is incredibly rude and inappropriate of
someone to ask you such a thing,
because nobody should ever be forced on expressing their opinion on a
sensitive topic. That's number one.
I want you to know ladies that you are not obliged to voice your political
opinion if you don't feel comfortable in doing so. I mean,
I think there reason to why politics have always been considered a taboo
subject and why it's common to keep private,
let's say what political party you vote on as an example.
And the reason for that is very plain and simple ladies,
there will always be people who will agree with you,
and there will always be people who don't, who will disagree with you.
So for this reason, in a social setting, it can get quite uncomfortable
if two people who share completely different opinions have to start a debate
over their opinions.
And the conversation can easily escalate
and it can turn awkward or even nasty sometimes.
And then it makes you wonder,
what for?
What's the point of this conversation?
It's pretty useless because most likely, nobody's gonna change their mind.
It instead carries a risk to turn into a hostile or emotional
affair by having this conversation. So what's the point? Now,
some claim that discussing politics with others is healthy because you get
a different opinions and it makes your own opinion more wholesome. And,
you know, even though I think there is a point to that,
I do think it's important though,
to reflect who you discuss with and not to discuss with whoever.
One,
because you don't know what political agenda someone is trying to push on you.
And two, you don't wanna do it with someone you don't know very well. I think,
discussing politics with close friends is one thing,
because you are familiar with each other and they might be no hard feelings if
you disagree.
But discussing politics with acquaintances and people outside of your closed circle,
I don't think that's a good idea.
And I really do think that you can easily sabotage for yourself or shoot
yourself in the foot that way.
Now that takes me to something that has become incredibly common in
our social media driven society,
where both influencers and also regular people are being
critiqued if they don't comment on politics that are currently in the air.
And please ladies,
let me know in the comments below if you have been pressured by the people who
follow you or your own social circle to post about something,
something that everyone is currently posting about in the moment.
Now I can speak from the side of influencers because every time there's a
current event in the world, and it's all over the news,
we get so many messages and even emails from people
pushing us to speak on a subject. Now, for me,
I don't see this behavior to be any different to the behavior that I just
described to you that could happen in person.
When someone puts you on the spotlight to voice your opinion,
this happens also through social media.
It is just as rude and is just as inappropriate to send people online
messages and try to pressure them into speaking on a political subject.
Because just like in person,
there will be people who agree and there will also be people who disagree.
And you should really know that as an influencer,
part of our job is to receive hate on a daily basis, unfortunately.
But you should know how much this hate actually increases
whenever there is a worldwide event.
People start sending you hate if you're silent.
People send hate if you voice your opinion,
or if you address the matter and they will hate you so much,
if they disagree with you.
So it becomes the situation where it doesn't really matter what you do.
You're gonna be in the wrong regardless.
And from what I have heard from influencers after I asked around to
research today's video, sometimes staying silent is what's easier.
Because as soon as you mention a political event,
the amount of hate one gets from those who don't share their opinion can become
so toxic and frankly,
a bit too much to handle sometimes that many influencers might not have the
mental or emotional strength to process all of that. I mean, after all,
we are humans too. We're not some online robots.
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many influencers pick their battles.
And what's funny is actually that even when you pick your battle,
you still get critiqued because you're now not reporting on all events that
happen in the world.
And influencers then get slammed because they pick and choose.
And just to give you some perspective, in 2021,
there were around 27 conflicts in the world.
Some were territorial disputes, some were civil war,
some were political instability and some were terrorist-related matters.
Now,
do you think that an influencer would be objectively educated on all these
27 conflicts and be able to raise awareness in a fair
way for all of these conflicts that happened that year?
Unless you have studied politics or you work in that environment,
somehow related to politics, then yes,
maybe you are educated on all those matters and can speak on these subjects.
But regular joes like me,
or maybe like you don't have a deep understanding about everything that's
happening in the world.
And I think shaming people for what they speak on or don't speak on is as
if you are shaming someone for what charity they're supporting.
Would you critique someone for donating their money to cancer research over
animal rescue as an example? Or would you be like,
why are you donating to an animal shelter?
You should be giving those money to help the children.
Now I'm sure there are people who reason like this,
but all I'm trying to say is that I don't think it's right.
And it's definitely not considered polite to impose on other people what they
should feel and what causes they pick.
And this has taught me a lot on how I set boundaries with the world.
Because as an influencer,
I decided that I don't want to discuss politics or report on current events
on my social media platforms,
unless there is something I feel educated on and that I feel is right
for me to talk about. Now, this boundary upsets a lot of people,
but that's where my boundaries step in.
Because I really do believe that each and everyone should have the right
to choose what they speak on if they decide to speak on something.
What can easily happen if people speak just because of peer pressure
is that there is gonna be a lot of misinformation going to be spread.
Because if we're not fully educated on the subject,
it makes no sense to speak on it because you might not have all the facts.
Now, the problem, when you decide not to speak on something,
is that people start taking for granted that you are not in support of the
cause. That if you're not there raising awareness,
if you're not there campaigning for it or speaking on it,
you are agreeing with the problem.
And I think this part often gets misunderstood
because I don't think silence
necessarily mean that someone is ignoring and doesn't care.
I think what's most likely going on behind the scenes is that the person
might be educating themselves on the matter behind closed doors,
or they might be processing the situation,
maybe trying to form an opinion if this is something new to them,
maybe they're doing things in private, such as doing donations.
But assuming that people don't care if they are silent is quite
a narrow way of thinking, in my opinion.
And I also don't think that it's right to just assume things in such a way
when you probably don't have the whole picture.
And I'm gonna give you some more context,
because think about the people who find it difficult to understand the situation.
Maybe they even lack confidence speaking on the subject that they don't fully
grasp or feel like they're an expert on. Maybe sometimes,
no matter what you say,
you know that's going to offend people
and maybe you don't want to offend people.
After all,
topics like politics can get quite uncomfortable because it is a
sensitive subject and not everyone has the confidence to be able to speak on
such matters. I mean, maybe you are outspoken. Maybe you are courageous,
but there are so many people who are not,
people who are a little bit shy or people who are maybe a little bit insecure.
Maybe there are also people who find it difficult with self-expression.
They don't really know how to properly express themselves so that the message
comes across in an accurate way. So you see ladies,
there are so many real reasons to why people don't always speak their minds.
And it's not because they're coward
or because they're agreeing with the problem.
I don't think it's compassionate to try and push people to do what they are not
comfortable with doing. And ladies,
you should never give into the pressure that people may put on you because of
their assumptions. Remember the work that we do with setting boundaries,
we do it because we want to operate from a place where we are consistently
staying true to ourselves,
instead of being used as a prop for someone else.
And there will always be people who will throw manipulation tactics at you.
They're gonna be calling you selfish.
They're gonna be victimizing the situation. They're gonna do blame games,
but a boundary is a boundary and it is important to stay true to
yourself and true to what feels right for you.
Nobody has the right to take decisions for you.
So if you want to comment on politics publicly or in person,
that's absolutely okay.
But it's also okay if that doesn't feel right for you.
Let me tell you one thing, ladies, I am not perfect.
And I still have a lot of things to work on with myself and also with my mindset.
But I feel like I have come a long way compared to how I was before.
Because before,
I would have very little patience and I would have very little understanding for
people, I would be immediately jumping to conclusions, to judgments,
I would be pointing fingers, you know, left right and center.
And I know that if I would have been back in time, a situation like today,
I would've been so upset with absolutely everyone who doesn't think like me or
do like me. And let's say I would've been, I don't know,
voicing my opinions on whatever matter,
I would have been so angry with everyone who didn't do the same.
I would call them hypocrites. I would call them cowards.
I would accusing them of being in favor of the problem.
And I would not have been able to see the situation objectively.
And you know what an objective mind is?
Whatever you do is not necessarily the right choice for everyone.
And we need to respect that,
even if that feels triggering because we are passionate or we feel emotional.
But it is very important if you want to be grounded,
you cannot let your emotions dictate for other people.
And this is of course easier said than done for many.
But I think that if one wants to develop an elegant mindset,
I believe we need to lead with compassion.
I believe we need to always look at both sides and try to be understanding
for one another.
We need to be patient with people who are different and we need to be patient
with people who truly think different to us.
One thing that politics does to people is to divide them.
And I don't see anything positive with this at all.
I don't think this is what we need in this world. We are already divided.
We don't need to be even more divided.
We need to have a world where we can coexist happily,
even if we think differently. And I want to just be clear,
I am not referring to some social matters that let's say are illegal
or discriminatory as there are, of course,
some opinions that are simply unacceptable,
racism in support of child abuse, et cetera.
I am now referring to politics only. So for this reason,
if you are faced with a person let's say on your social media feed or someone
in person who says things that you don't agree on whatsoever,
there is no need to unfollow that person or start arguing with that person.
And there's no need to put a cross on that person as if that person is awful,
just because you have different political thoughts.
Ladies, practice not to get triggered.
Practice acceptance,
practice objective thinking.
There is always a reason to why someone thinks the way they think.
And sometimes, it's not even the fault of the person.
It can sometimes be a fault or the circumstances. Now, ladies,
feel free to agree or disagree with me in the comments below.
But please keep it classy if you decide to disagree.
I am sharing with you my thoughts and I'm sharing with you my feelings on the
subject. And of course, not everybody's gonna think like I do,
and it's okay. I still root for you.
And I still believe that we can have other things in common than this opinion.
Now in my next video, 10 things elegant ladies never say,
you'll find out what are some other taboo subjects that you should
stay away from talking to people about. Now I will see you in that video.