- Here we go.
- Hi, I'm Tan France and this is Dressing Funny.
Each episode, I'm dressing some of the
funniest people on the planet.
- Uh oh, uh oh, hey.
- Wanna see me push their style game?
Just watch.
Oh hey, Miranda!
(upbeat music)
Hi Miranda.
How are you?
- Oh Hi, I'm good.
How are you? - Good.
- We can um, handshake, how about.
I just don't trust you yet, so.
- That's probably understandable.
- Yeah, what was your name?
- Tan.
Tan.
- Tan.
(grumbles)
- I put people in clothes.
So if you wore clothes that were like this,
I would be like, "okay, let me help."
- Yes, that's why I'm here today,
to help you dress.
I didn't know it would be this bad.
- What do you think I'm missing?
- You're missing pants.
(laughter)
- What happened to your overalls?
Half of them are gone.
I think you should cover it up.
That is for your wife or your husband only.
- What year do you think this is?
- It is 2019, I do not judge.
But you look really ugly.
- Shall I go?
- Leave?
That would be great, I can just be by myself.
- (laughing) Shall I tell you what I think of yours?
- Oh yes, of course, thank you.
- Can I see the back?
- Okay, pervert.
(laughter)
- Oh my.
- You see that? It's a message for all the haters out there.
- Listen, here's the thing.
The sweats are a lot,
the sweatshirt is a lot.
The colors are a lot.
- A lot of good?
- I wouldn't say great.
- Excellent.
- Okay
I know you said you liked to cover.
- Yes.
- But would you consider this?
It's good for you because you like a lot of color.
- Yeah, I don't like that color.
- What color do you like?
- I like pink, darker pink, a little bit darker pink,
hot pink, purple, white, gray, really light pink,
a little bit of a darker pink,
a maroon, hot pink,
I picked a scab, red, blood colors,
and scab colors like browns and tan colors.
- Yes.
- And I also have black.
- Yo.
- So do you have anything that color?
- Yeah, I've got a lovely pink here.
- Um, I didn't say that one.
- Its practically the same colors as yours.
- Um, that's a different kind of color,
that's like placenta pink.
- Okay, how about this.
I will try on whatever you want me to try on.
- Thank god.
- But, then you have to try on a couple of looks for me.
- Okay, we'll see about that.
But I definitely need to change your clothes very soon.
- It turns out he thinks he's a celebrity,
he thinks that he knows more than me,
which is laughable.
- So we need to figure out what's going to work for her.
- I don't think anythings going to look good on him,
but let's see here, what do we have?
- I don't want to take advantage and put her in
something she would never wear.
But I actually do want to make her look great.
However, I think she's insane.
- Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring.
- And I don't think she's going to appreaciate
anything I pull for her.
- Oh, you know what?
Now we're getting somewhere.
So I did find one thing that might work for you
- Uh, huh.
- But I mostly just have stuff from home.
- You only found one thing in this whole store
that might work?
- Yeah I figured camouflage would be good
because it would hide your legs more.
- I said I'll try anything. - So let's try that.
- Okay, I'll need a shirt.
- Yeah, obviously.
I'm not a freaking pervert like you.
So I have some ideas, okay?
So we have this shirt, it says "Nice Baubles."
- But you said you weren't a pervert?
- No, I'm not.
- So what's that?
- A bauble. You know, a bauble.
Like, "Hello, nice baubles."
It's a compliment.
And then a nice shirt, because
modest is hottest, over it with pussy cats!
Because everyone loves a good pussy on a bauble.
So we can try that
- That's true I love pussies on baubles.
- And you can put that with that.
- And then since your face is kind of an issue,
I do have this.
- Oh.
- So I think it'll be good because you'll
look more famous.
- You think that this is better than
what I've already got.
- I know this is better than what you've already got.
- Yo.
Okay great then, I'm definitely down for that.
- So that's your first one, okay?
- Definitely.
So I've got a look for you.
You like color, and so I'm going to give you
a version of color that is maybe a little more fashionable.
- Okay, we'll see what we can do.
(cameras shuttering)
I am in the dressing room right now.
Look at all these ugly clothes
he freaking picked out for me.
However, I see what he's trying to do here.
I know he's attracted to me.
- So I know he - - Are you talking to yourself?
- I'm talking to a camera, smart one.
- Who did you convince
to father your child?
- Okay well if you knew anything,
you would know that I am a virgin.
Because I'm not like that.
And the Lord Himself made me the next Virgin Mary.
So, basically, God is the father of my child, so.
- Did you call your child Jesus?
- [Miranda] No I do not.
- What do you call him?
- [Miranda] It.
- It?
- It, or baby, or that.
You know, things like that.
- Do you keep in touch with your mom?
- Yes, my mom is my teacher, I'm homeschooled.
- Oh, that explains so much.
- [Miranda] I actually kind of like this.
- Good.
- [Miranda] I'm about to come out, are you prepared?
- Prepared as I'll ever be.
(Miranda humming here comes the bride)
- This was your plan all along wasn't it Tan?
- To wed you?
- Yes, you gave me a veil.
I do like the idea of getting married.
It will help your career, it'll make me look better
because of charity work.
And I gotta say, you sold me on the pants
because the pants don't have a middle.
So in case I have to pee, poo, give birth
- Yes
- Anything, it just falls out. Easy clean up.
- That's one down, I'm impressed that you liked my-
- Yeah, so. I do.
Did you hear that
- I don't.
- Oh, you're already wearing your ring.
With this ring, I thee wed.
- No
- You may kiss the bride. - No, no.
No, hard pass.
- You're already laying down, that's the
wedding night, silly.
- (laughing) No. I'm going to try on real quick.
- You can put that on first and
don't forget your mask.
- Oh.
- I can come in.
- No, no, no.
- We're married now.
- No, I'm good.
- Never thought I would marry an ugly person, but,
you know, stranger things have happened.
On Netflix. So.
(camera shuttering)
- I'm ready!
- You're ready?
- Yeah.
- Oh good!
- It doesn't smell as nice as id like it to smell.
- Wow, I have never been more attracted to you.
You look great.
- What do you like about this look?
- I like the nice baubles, I like the pussy cats,
and most importantly I like looking at
my own face. - The face
- See now we can kiss.
- No.
- We can.
- No, No.
(camera shuttering)
- I'm really excited about this next look.
Because I want to be sensitive to your needs.
I'm your wife now.
So I want to make sure we have compromise here.
- Hmm.
- So here we have a skin leotard.
- Okay.
- And then on top put this,
which is like a Virgin Mary outfit,
so people know that you are a holy person,
and you're not inappropriate.
But you'll look naked and like sexy sweet
at the same time.
- Ah - You're like, "oh am I naked?
No, but I'll pray for you."
- Um, okay. Next.
Which one would you rather?
- This one.
- Great let's go with that.
- Okay.
- And then we're going to wear this,
again, you embrace color,
we're going to go with this, with this over it.
Just so we understand, this comes off.
- What comes off? - All of that.
Everything that you have on right now, is off.
- Okay.
- And then you replace it with this, and then this,
and then this over it.
Ready for this?
You will go in this one.
- Oh, okay switching up?
- We will switch it up.
- Oh, my camera is in that one.
- I will give it to you.
- Are you coming in?
- I will.
- Ohhh.
- I'm not coming in, I'm sliding it under.
- Ow!
Okay so I think these are pants.
Lets try.
I think maybe you tuck this part in, I don't know.
I'm not going to wear this sweater, it's stupid.
What do you guys think?
Some sort of version of Aladdin.
[Miranda] Okay, are you ready?
- Yes.
I have to do this, because this is just offensive.
- Oh wow. You look great.
- Really?
- You look so nice.
- This is your version of nice?
- Well I actually like what you pulled this time.
I love the scarf and these pants are really nice.
- Do you remember what I told you that you
must take off the clothes that you're already wearing
and replace them with the clothes I got you?
- I thought you were talking like sexy talk,
like talking dirty to me - No that's not sexy talk.
- Well I like this because it has a surprise.
You know, so it's like if you get excited,
you can be like, "what?"
- I've never felt more disgusting in my life.
- What are you talking about?
- Listen, here's the thing.
- Listen, you know what?
I know that you hate yourself.
I know that you feel ugly.
But it's okay.
Ugly people can be happy too.
Okay?
- What's wrong with you?
(upbeat music)
I feel like I've given you all the help I can give you.
- Okay.
- And so I'm going to leave you with one outfit.
- Okay.
- That I think will be a better version of you.
You will go into the fitting room,
and you decide who's future Miranda.
- I will fully do what you want,
if you do the same for me.
I have one final look for you,
it's the best one of them all.
If will make you look much better,
it will make you look more famous-er.
- Show me.
- Don't look!
It's a surprise.
So he gave me these pants to wear.
I don't like jeans.
They're uncomfortable, they stink, they're stiff.
And I don't like stiff things, if you know what I'm saying.
This jacket is a little too Sherlock Holmes
in my opinion.
It's also not raining, so I'm not going to put this on.
I don't think he'll notice.
[Miranda] I love what you picked out for me,
I think this is a real big change.
- [Tan] Oh good, you actually tried it on?
- [Miranda] Yeah, it looks great!
- [Tan] Great.
- [Miranda] Okay, you ready?
One, two, three.
Wow.
- It's amazing - Okay.
What the fuck is this?
- Excuse you!
- Alright. We can be done. She's not going to-
- Oh your butt looks great.
Show them.
- No. - Show them.
- We're done, thank you very much.
- Show them - No thank you.
- We clearly didn't do anything.
- It looks very nice. - I'm done.
Okay. So I guess he's gone.
Tan?
We'll it seems like he's actually gone.
That's okay.
I'm a professional.
So thanks for watching everybody.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of Dressing Funny,
staring me, Miranda Sings.
Make sure to subscribe.
Leave a comment, what was your favorite outfit
that we did today?
Obviously it was this one.
Thank you!
Tan, I just miss my husband so much.
- Yeah I kinda miss you too.
- Tan I'm so glad you're back.
Because I actually need these clothes back.
- Oh good, because I want my show back.
- Oh, that can't happen.
I already told them that's-
- You take these, I'm taking my show.
- Oh, no pushing.
- Move, idiot.
- Okay, we'll be back.