You're going to die
and so are you
Definitely you
Probably sooner than later
and maybe even before we call you in here
I don't care how much dairy-free imitation nut cheese you've eaten
you're going down too
Oh, and you
You know what's coming
You just don't want wifey or the kids to find out about your deep obsession
with rosebudding
It's okay, man
We all have our kinks
Don't worry
they'll never know you had those accounts
And who are you?
Yeah
Hi Miss, welcome to Endings
You all done with that form?
- Yeah - Great, come on back
You all done with that?
Have a seat
So, Mr Green
The smart ones prepare for the inevitable
Well, I definitely have things that I want hidden after I go
And we will definitely address all of those things
But I want to talk to you
about your digital afterlife
The smart ones protect themselves
from being criminally repossessed from the grave
Facebook, email, bank account
These are all ways people can steal your identity
after you've passed
We can close all of your accounts for you
and the information you provide us will be encrypted and secure
so you can rest easy
Rest easy?
That's cute
Listen
a colleague of mine a respected attorney
dropped dead of a heart attack a month ago
and when his family opened his computer you know what they found?
They found a cornucopia of filth!
There were pictures of him
There were pictures of him in an adult crib
wearing diapers and he'd shit himself
Do you think that's funny?
No, painfully specific
But listen, we also have a service here where you can record a video message
and share it with anyone you'd like
in case maybe you also have a secret or two
that you want to get off your chest
No, no, no
my shit goes with me to the grave
All my accounts, my Facebook messages
everything, all right?
Understood, that's what we're here for
So, I just want you to take a look at this
All right?
Hides all my stuff here
my account names, my passwords?
My final plans
you can't see any of this stuff, right?
No, sir
None of it
Alright, I'm going to leave you with the computer
let you take a look
and if you need me I'm going to be just outside
- Thank you - Of course
- Pen? - Yeah?
Can you please help me with something?
Sure
I can't figure out how to work this
Need to get this shit on there
I'd love to see your [inaudible] sometime
I'm a writer myself
- Who's that? - Her?
- Yeah, that girl with Rusty? - I have no clue
I feel like I know her
You're "a writer yourself"? On what?
The bus?
I see she's already turned you against me
She didn't need to
What's her name?
Nikki Wheaton
I'm taking her out on Saturday
- That's who that was - Why, who is she?
One of those insta-famous girls I follow her
Shit!
I should have gotten her to plug our feed!
Ten bucks says she's given you the wrong number!
Check out "the writing"!
Rusty, is that your handwriting?
- You'll see - Hmm
- All right, click that - Thank you
She's special, huh?
You know
Doing a little cyber-creeping like the rest of us?
I'll see you Monday!
Hmm... fuck you
What a sicko!
Hi
I'm dead
Fuck, does that feel good to say!
DEAD
Fuck you
Yeah
from the ether: fuck you
Hi
I'm dead
And that isn't fair to you
Leaving you isn't cool
it's the one thing
the only thing that really fucking sucks about this
When I was a senior and you were a sophomore
do you remember that trip we took to Lake Tahoe?
You and me and Mom and Bill and
your boyfriend at the time?
What was his name?
Brandon
I slept with him on that trip
I think I justified it to myself that you weren't ready for it
He was a virgin too
I thought I was helping
I think I was just lonely
Some fucking shit
Eve, I know you're not going to understand
but I have to
Had to
All my love
Please fill that out, intake will be with you shortly
So
You're seriously going to start on this, aren't you?
I remember both of you laughing at my expense on Friday
As opposed to
Hey, come on let's get this over with
So, Nikki and I
took her out Saturday night
and Sunday night
Hell, she was at my place this morning before I left for work
Know what I mean?
Bullshit!
I'll introduce you if you like
Oh really, you will?
Come on, guys
We've got three clients in there waiting for intake
Get back to work, huh? Chop chop!
Thank you
for wasting my time
She's lame
You know, Rusty?
All those people out there
they're trying to stop themselves from disappearing
Don't you ever wonder why?
You know
Not really
Hey, we're going to get Chinese, do you want to come?
No, I'm good
And me?
I'm gonna die too
At least, Penny is
Thanks to Nikki I can finally disappear
Rest easy, Nikki
I'll take it from here