Mark: Oooh, you're in for a treat love!
Mark: *sings* I wish i was a punk rocker with flowers in my head
Mark: *giggles*
Zoe: Two, one hit wonders
Zoe: A twonder
Mark: A tw... *laughs*
Mark: Lulululululululul
Zoe: Don't you look, beautiful!
Mark: That's what me mum says!
Both: *giggles*
Have I got any boogers?
No.
Okay. *giggles*
Hello everybody!
I am joined today with my friend Mark Ferris...
Hello everybody!
I have missed you since you were here last week.
Thank you!
Both: *laughs*
On various occasions Mark has watched me putting my makeup on,
and one time he said, "Do you know what...I think I'd be really good at that",
so I was like, "Okay, that is a video right there."
Oh no!
I wanna actually see how good Mark is at doing my make up,
and we're not doing it like silly,
I've actually said to him I want you to really try,
so I gave Mark free rein of my makeup this morning
and he picked everything he wanted to put on my face.
Right.
I'm going to do you up
for a Croydon night out.
YEAH!
Croydon night out!
This is your fave.
So this is going to make a little
cameo.
Zoe: Yeah, what kind of lips are you gonna do?
There.
Zoe: Cause if you go like heavy on the eyes,
what are you doing on the lips?
Or if you're going heavy on the lips, what are you doing on the eyes?
Ooh, I don't know about that.
Smokey!
Zoe: *giggles*
I'm really scared!
Zoe: What are you scared of?
Just... making you look like a clown because I hate clowns!
Both: *laughs*
Oh, what's all this?
Zoe: Contour.
Right, we're gonna use this. I've seen the advert for this.
What the hell is that!?
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: It's what you use to wash makeup brushes.
Oh, bloody hell, I thought it was like some little sea creature!
Zoe: *laughs*
Foundation brush?
Both: *laughs*
No, I reckon this is like a blush,
cause it's like girthier.
This is...
Both: *laughs*
I don't know!
Got your face,
got your concealer,
got your eyelashes,
got your eyes,
bronzer,
What's this, again?
Blush?
Zoe: Blush and highlight.
Blush and highlight, highlight...
Zoe: *posh accent* Highlight.
Both: *laughs*
My little tray of goodies. Oh, it's quite light actually.
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: Look at you, off you go!
Off I trot!
Both: *laughs*
Oh, what about like umm, what they called...
like a base?
Like a face base?
Foundation?
No, like a, like a primer.
Both: *laughs*
Erm...
You've got a right...
What?
Both: *laughs*
What!?
Both: *laughs*
It's okay!
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Right we're gonna start with this
Mark: *giggle*
Mark: You always start with foundation
Mark: *giggles* Shhhhhhhhhh
Mark: Have I done this right?
Zoe: *laughs*
Mark: Press it?
Zoe: *laughs*
Mark: Where does it come out?
Zoe: *laughs*
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: And then you squeeze it like a drop, dropper
Mark: Oh my goodness
Mark: Okay
Mark: *whispers* OMG
Mark: So
Mark: Not your skin tone
Both: *laughs*
Mark: So we're gonna start with the fore...
Mark: ochhhh
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Why have you got it?
Zoe: To mix for...
Zoe: You know when you go on holiday
Zoe: And you get a tan
Mark: Mmmmm
Zoe: To add like a drop in to my normal foundation
Mark: Oh so not that much then
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Oh okay
Mark: Look you've come back off holiday, you're seeing
Zoe: yeah
Mark: You're friends down the pub
Zoe: *giggles*
Mark: Down the goose in Croydon
Zoe: *laughs*
Mark: *giggles*
Mark: "Look at me tan"
Mark: *laughs*
Mark: For Fu....
Zoe: Look how long my neck is
Mark: It's alright
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: As necks go, it's alright
Zoe: Does
Zoe: Don't you think I Iook like ET?
Mark: Nooooo
Mark: Never
Zoe: Are you enjoying that brush though
Mark: Yeah I think the brush helps
Mark: It's like really...
Mark: It gets around
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: Little slut brush
Mark: You little slut brush
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: Eh Ooh
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Sorry
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Sorry
Mark: You have to slow that down you were like
Mark: Eh Oooh
Zoe *slow motion* Ehhhh Ooooh
Zoe: You say brush
Both: I say
Mark: Slut brush
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: So what are you doing here?
Mark: Right we're gonna brighten under the eyes
Mark: And just above the eye
Zoe: K
Mark: Em no above the cheekbone
Zoe: yeah
Mark: Make them eyes go POP
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: I think when I like proper laugh
Mark: You go silent
Zoe: I go silent
Mark: Yeah same
Mark: But unless it tickles me
Mark: Quite quick
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: How's it looking
Mark: Yeah good
Mark: *laughs*
Mark: I think we're naturally quite...
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Loud anyway
Mark: Your face came with the brush
Mark: Eh
Zoe: Eh
*funny noise*
Zoe: Did you hear that?
Both: *laughs*
Mark: *recreates noise*
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Im just going round your face / Zoe: you're just trying to make
Zoe: squelchy...
Zoe: You just didn't even make sense then
Mark: Cupids bow
Zoe: *raspberry sound*
Mark: I'm just gonna tighten you up a bit
Both: *laughs*
Mark: No, I meant to say tidy
Both: *laughs*
Zoe: Ooohhhh my god...
Mark: What??
Mark: What happened?
Zoe: *laughs*
Mark: Was it really close to your eye?
Zoe: I could feel it like pulsating on my eyeball
Both: *giggles*
Mark: Come on now, serious video Zoe
Zoe: oooooh
Zoe: Do you think we could ever film a serious video?
Mark: Yeahhh
Mark: When pigs fly
Zoe: You ever never seen an elephant fly
Zoe: oooh
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Don't forget your little bow
Both: *laughs*
Mark: I just copied what you did
Mark: I was like
Mark: Eeeeh
Zoe: Eeeh
Zoe: Don't forget your little bow
Mark: Your little cupid bow
Mark: Yep we've gone for the glam bronze
Mark: La terra
Both: *laughs*
Mark: *snorting noise*
Zoe: Oh straight in then, no hesitation
Zoe: No shyness
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Brow putty?
Mark: Dip
Mark: And brush
Zoe: Don't you have to dip it first then
Mark: Oh
Zoe: Have you dipped it?
Mark: *snorting noise*
Zoe: Does it look good?
Mark: Yeah
Zoe: *laughs*
Mark: Right close your eyes
Zoe: *laughs* / Mark: No!
Both: *laughs*
Mark: Oh my gosh, that comes out thick
Mark: *indistinguishable noise*
Zoe: *laughs* / Mark: No! No
Mark: It won't let-Does it dry quick?
Both: *silent laughter*
Mark: This is the most quiet we've ever been.
Mark: In the same room.
Mark: Oh, that looks f***ing s**t
Both: *laughter*
I should've done eyeshadow first shouldn't I?
Z: yeah / M: that was it, oh no!
Z: I like your technique.
M: just dabbing. Z: Jabbing it.
Z: back to the eyeliner then.
M: yeah we're gonna do the eyeliner now...
right Back in with the eyeliner.
Z: damn!
M: ooh! / Z: what? / M: I dunno
*Zoe laughs*
Z: back at it again with the eyeliner! /
M: right.
Z: does that help?
M: yeah, actually
*Mark blows on Zoe's face*
M: Just trying to dry it, sorry *both laugh*
M: I'm getting deja vu. / Z: are you? / M: egg.
Z: what?! / M: I say 'egg'
when I get deja vu. / Z: why?/ M: cuz...
that's not a word you usually say in a sentence
so when you get deja vu just say 'egg!'
and it goes back to normal
Z: oh! / M: that's what I do anyway.
M: see like this never happens
but two seconds ago it did.
Z: huh?? *Mark laughs*
M: go tiger tiger
have a couple of Jägerbombs...
sorted.
Z: can you actually imagine me doing that, just picture it for a second
M: Dancing around your bag
Z: yeah
Z: Or dancing on the bar
M: dancing on the bar, yeah
M: oh ew Z: smells like copytext
Z: fish
M:* chuckes* this is going to go on your eyeball Z: *giggles*
M: how do we do this? We put it on here Z: I'll let you decide
Z: That was easy, you did that so easy
M: *signs* I was really good at art you know
Z: I don't even feel like I'm wearing any
M: Well what can I say
I'm a natural eyelasher putter oner
Both: *laughs*
Z: *gasps* M: *screams* Both: *laugh*
Z: jokin, I'm jokin
M: Alfie's going to love this
He's gonna be like whose this? Whose this soul?
M: *laughs*
Z: Can you imagine Alfie saying that? M: No
Z: *singin* maybe it's Mabelline M: *signs* Oh yeah!
M: Oh look at you! You've done this before Both: *laughs*
Z: Everyday for many years!
M: *laughing* Yeah
Z: *chuckling* M: *chuckles*
Z: *laughs*
Z: *laughs* M: sorry if I M: *starts laughing*
M: I'm just trying to keep- cause *laughs*
M: We are going to be using the B by Terry can't pronounce that Hydro Power
Z: laughs M: Hydro Powder I said Z: Hydro Power!
M: Oh! This is like stage makeup
M: This
M: Oh that's a lot on there ain't it? Alright I'm just gonna do your forehead
Z: *quietly* Ok
Z: *laughs* M: *laughs* Z: *clears throat*
M: It's like you're getting towged Both: *laughing*
Z: *coughs and laughs* M: Oh no! What the hell, alright let's use a smaller one
Z: You're now taking part of it off the brush onto a different brush
M: That's massive
M: And this just sets it all doesn't it?
Z: Mhm
Z: *laughs*
Both: *giggling*
M: Oh
Both *giggling*
M:It looks good on camera
Z:But it doesn't look good in real life? M:Yeah!
Z:(laughing)What??
Both laughing
M:Just gonna smarten it up.
M:The big reveal. Z:Is there anything you wanna say before I look?
M:I think Zoe looks very nice.
Z:Is this how you think I should wear my makeup?
M:No! Not at all! But this is just errr a look that I thought that you could...
Z: If i, so if I came out looking like this you'd be like 'that looks amazing'?
M:(sniff) But you would probably do it a lot better than me
M:And I dont..I dont think the lips look..I think the colour on the lips shouldnt be that.
Z:Oh..my...God
Z:OH MY GOD!
Z:OH..... Mark! Look at my...
Z:Like look at that!
M: OOh!