From being a good parent to one of the key functions you need to live, we look at 8 Everyday
things we all do wrong.
8.
Tic Tacs • Who would have thought that we’ve actually
been eating mints wrong our whole lives?
• Well not all mints, just those “less than 2 calories” Tic Tacs.
If you ever paid any attention to the packet, you’d have noticed that under the flap part
is an oblong…an oblong just slightly larger than a single Tic Tac.
• What you are supposed to do is use that to get out the mints one at a time instead
of rattling the damn box till 4 fall out.
But then again what kind of weirdo just has one Tic Tac?
You need at least 7 to get the right amount of flavor.
7.
Foil Tabs • Do you feel like you’re in a shitty
infomercial every time you try to get out some foil?
• You pull out a piece but then the roll part comes out and falls to the gross floor,
so now you have 3 meters of dirty foil, so you tear that off and start again but the
whole damn system is just broken.
• Turns out it’s you that’s broken buddy, you’re supposed to push in those little
cardboard tabs on the side to stop the roll from coming out of the box.
Why they couldn’t sell them with the tabs pressed in already I don’t know, I guess
foil companies just want to watch you suffer.
6.
Chinese Food Containers • Oyster pails or what you would probably
recgonise as “The container my noodle shop gives me”, can actually be unfolded carefully
to become a makeshift plate.
• This recently went viral as a lifehack, making many assume this is an intented feature
but really you are just unfolding a piece of paper.
Still it’s a helpful way to get to all the soy sauce juices at the bottom.
5.
Praising your Children • Parenting is hard, especially when you
find out that you have actually been praising your child the wrong way.
• Yes next time you are telling little Johnny how great he is at using the big boy toilet,
you might want to pay attention to the words you are using.
Research has discovered that if tell a child “hey you are really great at pooping!”
rather than “You did really well pooping this time, Billy”, you’re doing it wrong.
• Why?
Apparently children are more motivated when they have an individual effort praised instead
just telling them how good they are at it…yeah I’m sorry that you’re a terrible parent.
4.
Brushing your Teeth • Like any battle, the battle between you
and tooth decay has good and bad tactics…guess which ones you’ve been using?
• I’m assuming that you’re not gross and actually brush your teeth at least once
a week, anyway here’s a list of things you’ve been fucking up.
If you brush within 30 minutes after having something acidic like orange juice, you are
actually helping your enamel to break down….Which is pretty much the opposite of what you want
• You are also using wayyy too much toothpaste, you only need a small amount on your brush.
That way you aren’t playing into hands of those evil toothpaste corporations.
Then again if you are only brushing once a month, make sure you use the whole tube…ugh
3.
Drinking Beer/Wine • Nobody likes warm beer, so this its time
you started drinking the right way.
• Most people don’t realize it but longneck beer bottles have a long neck for a reason.
And It’s so you have something to hold onto when you break it over some jackass’ head.
You’re supposed to hold the neck when you drink so your hand doesn’t heat up your
beer, dummy.
• Also if you hold your wine glass like a medieval king holding a goblet, you are
also on the wrong-ville train.
Next time you want to look cultured try holding the glass at the top of the neck.
We all know you aren’t fancy anyway so stop pretending.
2.
Pooping • In this day and age you can’t even take
a shit without someone on the internet criticisning you.
And today I’m that someone.
• If you’ve grown up in a western country then chances are you’ve never had to squat
down to take a dump…unless you’ve been drunk and camping.
Anyway our bodies are designed to do our business in a squat position which is difficult to
achieve on the old porlain throne.
• Squat pooping can help you avoid many bowl issues, hemorrhoids and even lower your
risk of appendicitis.
This is all because your fancy modern toilet buts more strain on your colon and butthole.
1.
Breathing • Yes we have reached the pinnacle of being
the only intelligent life on this planet but we still don’t know how to breathe properly.
• But hey that shouldn’t be much of a surprise considering you’ve been shitting
wrong for most of your life.
Breathing is one those things that for some reason we start to do the wrong way after
infancy.
Babies breathe by contracting their abdomen, putting more focus on their diaphragm.
For some reason start using our chest as we grow older like the idiots that we are.
• Belly breathing though is much more efficient and gives your body a greater oxygen in take.
This can have added benefits such as increasing your energy levels.