A NORTH CAROLINA MAN WAS ARRESTED AFTER HE WALKED INTO A
PIZZA PLACE WITH AN ASSAULT RIFLE AND SAYING HE WAS INSPIRED
BY A FAKE NEWS STORY HE READ OFF THE INTERNET.
HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE WOMAN THAT'S ALWAYS YELLING
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW, CATHY ANN. >> HEY, HEY, HEY.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT IDIOT WENT INTO THAT PIZZA SHOP WITH A GUN,
AND HE DIDN'T LEAVE WITH NO MONEY AND NO PIZZA?
I MEAN, HELLO! >> HE WASN'T TRYING TO ROB IT.
HE THOUGHT HE WAS TRYING TO BREAK UP A PEDOPHILE --
>> THE FAKE NEWS. YOU KNOW WHAT, WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY, OKAY? YEAH, OKAY?
WE ALL CAN AGREE WE GOT SHI AND CRAZY PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY.
CRAZY PEOPLE DON'T EVEN HAVE FAKE NEWS TO GET THEM GOING.
I CAN SAY THAT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN ONE OF THEM, OKAY?
THERE WERE TIMES THAT I WOULD SMOKE YOU KNOW WHAT -- CRACK --
HEY, HEY, I'M SERIOUS. I WOULD ACT PRETTY ERRATICALLY,
I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. PEOPLE LIKE ME DO NOT NEED TO BE
ENCOURAGED. >> FORTUNE AND REDDING.
>> IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE CORRECTING ME ALL DAMN DAY, HOW
ABOUT YOU START WITH MY PSORIASIS.
>> OH, MY GOD. >> I'M LIKE A CECADA.
>> CLINGING ON TO A TREE SOMEWHERE.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, BUT ALL THAT FAKE NEWS IS THE
WORK OF THE ALT-RIGHT. RIGHT?
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL THE WHITE SUPREMACISTS NOW
BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE PEOPLE THAT ARE HOLD IT SWASTIKERS GET
OFFENDED WHEN YOU CALL THEM NAZIS.
WHAT THE HELL? THE WHOLE POINT IS TO SAY WHITE
PRIDE IS THAT YOU ARE PROUD OF THAT CRAP.
YOU'RE NOT McCAFE. YOU'RE McDONALD'S.
YOU'RE NOT HERE FOR A FANCY FRAP CHINO.
I'M HERE BECAUSE I BURNED SOME BRIDGES AT WENDY'S.
WHAT IS THIS RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY SO FOP LAR ANYWAY?
WHAT HAPPENED TO JUST USING THE INTERNET FOR WHAT YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO. PORNO.
>> GETTING BACK TO THE ALT-RIGHT.
>> HERE'S MY NUMBER ONE PROBLEM WITH THE ALT-RIGHT.
IT'S NOT THE RACISM. NO OFFENSE.
>> WHAT? >> IT'S THAT THEY THINK THEY ARE
SO FUNNY. THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
THAT'S LIKE WHEN YOU FIRST GO IN THE JAIL, AND THEY FIND THE
FATTEST GUY AND PULL HIS PANTS DOWN, AND EVERYBODY GETS TO SLAP
HIS BUTT ONE TIME TO SEE WHO LEAVES THE REDDEST MARK.
>> THAT IS -- DID YOU GO TO A MALE PRISON?
>> THEY PUT YOU WHERE THEY PUT YOU.
LOOK, LOOK, THE ALT-RIGHT, THEY AIN'T AS FUNNY AS THEY THINK,
BUT THEY ARE THE LIBERALS AIN'T EVEN TRYING TO HAVE A SENSE OF
HUMOR. I MEAN, YOU EVEN MENTION A SENSE
OF HUMOR. THEY GOT TO ON-LINE PETITION
ABOUT YOU A DAY LATER. ALL THEY DO IS YELL AT EACH
OTHER ON FACEBOOK ABOUT SAFETY PINS AND BERNIE SANDERS.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE 100 TIMES SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE AND
ABOUT A BILLION TIMES LESS FUN. >> OKAY.
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FAITH ON EITHER SIDE ON
ON-LINE FAKE NEWS. >> YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK EVERYBODY NEEDS TO GET OFF THE DAMN INTERNET FOR A FEW
DAYS. INCLUDING DONALD TRUMP.
I KNOW HE IS WATCHING. [ APPLAUSE ]
GO OUTSIDE. MEET PEOPLE FACE-TO-FACE, AND
LIKE THE PILGRIMS AND ALL THE CAVE MEN ALL DID.
THE WORLD IS MESSED UP, BUT I DON'T LET IT GET ME TOO DOWN
BECAUSE I LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF MY HERO.
MICHELLE ROBAMA. THEY GO LOW, I GET HIGH.
>> CATHY, EVERYBODY. >> WE GOT A THING GOING.
>> I DON'T THINK WE DO. >> GOOD NIGHT.
♪♪♪